STUCK!! Only improve with psychotherapy or TMS MD visit.

Hi all! I have been doing TMS therapy since February of 2014. I have fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue type symptoms, IBS, migraines, depression, dry eyes, many more that have improved a lot and others that haven't. I saw the 20 20 segment and thought oh wow this is so me; people pleaser, lots of guilt, perfectionism goodism all of it; got the books and really confirmed it; the problem was that this awareness and journaling did nothing for me except my fear of damaging back and joints was reduced as I began to see it as a brain induced rather than structural process.

Then I started TMS psychotherapy doing a lot of ISTDP; also got a MD stamp for the diagnosis. NO matter what I do though such as challenging symtpoms, not challenging symptoms, journaling, etc, the only progress I make is with therapy. A year into therapy I began lifting weights; went from 180 to 210 pounds in a year from hitting the iron with a vengeance after a whole life being unable to.

I'm a massive repressor; I tense up rather than feel emotions. As I've gotten better with this in therapy symptoms have improved a lot; right along with the feeling emotions progress.

I am thrilled with the progress I am making; I can surf for hours, (could only do an hour before and was exhausted) lift weights for an hour 3 days per week (could not do any of this before) , do 2 hours of yoga (could do 30 minutes before) , work way more hours without getting so tired. All of these improvements though have come through mainly therapy and interacting with someone.

I try on my own to make progress and get absolutely no where. I go into pain, I don't think about it. I journal. I just live my life. Meditate, All to no avail. The whole TMS thing makes perfect sense to me but I feel like in therapy or when I visited a TMS doctor something about the interaction drives the point home deeper into my subconscious and my symptoms then improve.

If anyone has been in this state or has any advice please share with me.


Also it seems there are doctors and therapists out there who are better at "convincing" someone at a deep level the true nature of their problems. I imagine Sarno was the master at this! If there are any MD's or therapists who are especially adept at this I would love to hear about them. I saw Dr Schubiner last year and he has this amazing quality but he is a 5 hour plane flight away so likely not going there again soon.

 

The progress you have made is your own doing. Therapists help but essentially it is up to the individual to do the work and stay open to healthier ways of living their lives. Give yourself the credit and gain the confidence you should have in these abilities.

 

What's "nootropics"?, is it available outside of Russia?, is that like Hawaiian Tropics tanning lotion? Is that you in your icon? I do agree with you that doing gymnastics is the best thing for overcoming TMS fears!

 

Well, Dr Sarno himself was forced to admit that a small percentage of his patients that failed to respond to TMS knowledge therapy did require psychotherapy and he set up his program to accommodate patients like that. It does sound like you've been making amazing progress, Joey, so much that you can't really knock it. Incidentally, it's taken me 5 years of mind work to finally be able to get back on the bouldering walls at the climbing gym where I'm a member without getting bounce-back pain the builds after a workout session. Still get some bounce back pain and stiffness mind you, but not to the same degree as even 6-months ago. You just have to maintain a perspective that takes into account the big picture of your progress and not succumb to the negative stuff TMS keeps throwing at you. I was trying to remember Alan Gordon's word for it during last Saturday's TMS Wiki chat and what Alan calls it is "outcome independence". You might look at his therapy program on the TMS Wiki to see exactly what that concept means.

 

Bird yes my therapist basically says the same thing; still I am as of yet largely unable to make progress outside of the therapy sessions. I'll keep trying though; sort of an art of not caring it appears. Bruce yes I remember 20% need professional therapy to improve; and since my symptoms are indicative of a major case of TMS my guess is someone with this level it is more than 20%. I go to Alan's center for therapy though have a different therapist so we talk about outcome independence a lot. I cannot knock my progress at all, I'm utterly stoked with it; but am looking for ways to speed the process up, especially to be able to do so without a therapist and get to where I don't need any medication.

 

Hi Joey. It sounds like you are slowly but surely improving. I think that perhaps it might be your resolute focus on improving the last of your symptoms that is keeping them alive. Maybe if you forget about them or accept them and focus on living your life that they may infact leave you.

I have a quick question for you as well. Did you manage to rid yourself of the dry eyes. This is what I am now battling as my latest symptom having rid myself of back pain and all but eliminate pelvic pain.

 

Hi Timmy; eye dryness is actually worse the past couple of months; mainly when I wake up ; thi sbegan when I started lowering klonopin (I went from 1.75mg per 24 hours to .65mg); eyes also sore still. I wouldn't say I am at the end of my symptoms but rather some have dramatically improved while others have not improved. I agree with your advice that I should focus on life; after "fighting" this condition since my early teens I am ultra determined to beat it, which works against me My therapist tells me all the time the goal isn't for the symptoms to go awy but to not care about them. Problem is I absolutely am horrible at this; I can say I don't care but deep down I usually do.

 

[QUOTE="Joey2276, post: 69553, member: 2113" My therapist tells me all the time the goal isn't for the symptoms to go awy but to not care about them. Problem is I absolutely am horrible at this; I can say I don't care but deep down I usually do.[/QUOTE]
joey,

It's not so much about not caring about the symptoms, but putting your attention elsewhere--on life, on people, on enjoyable activities, pets, etc. It's more about forgetting about your symptoms because your attention is on something else. Forgetting you have TMS is the same as being cured.