Subject: Seeking help from Bladan or anyone who can contact him "Please listen to me. I need anyone

Asunto: Buscando ayuda de Bladan o de alguien que pueda contactarlo

Por favor, escúchenme. Necesito que cualquiera que haya visto a Bladan , sepa dónde está o cómo contactarlo, le diga que necesito desesperadamente su ayuda. Solo necesito que responda a mi comentario una vez.

Necesito que me cuente exactamente cómo fue el proceso de desaparición de su dolor. Llevo seis meses de un infierno absoluto y necesito saber: ¿cuánto tiempo después de esos primeros seis meses empezó a notar que los síntomas no volvían? ¿Simplemente dejaron de aparecer o fueron disminuyendo gradualmente?

Él es mi inspiración; me hace creer que yo también puedo superar esto. Tengo muchos síntomas neuropáticos que aparecen y desaparecen a lo largo del día. Por favor, ayúdenme.

 

Hi @Alouqua47 I speak a very small amount of Spanish apologies but I hope you can translate my english. In this TMS work, you will notice that a lot of people will first focus entirely on their symptoms, seeking out stories that perfectly match theirs in the hope that we are the same. But TMS doesn't work like structural injuries, with an ankle sprain two bodies can heal the same way i.e. two weeks and then better and we can compare ourselves to each other. TMS is very different, its a combination of pschological factors and that's where no two people are the same. For me I was seeking out whiplash stories and begging people to tell me how long it would take to go away... but no one else who had whiplash TMS had my childhood, my anxieties etc etc I had to learn to cope with those fears alone and once I do I'm going to be so proud of myself.

I think you're still in the fear and urgency phase, seeking anyone to help you get out of your symptoms and I feel you, I really do.

The support you seek needs to come from within though. You need to find your own safety from within and give your TMS brain those messages of safety because you truly are safe, your TMS brain just doesn't feel so.

TMS symptoms are wide ranging, but when you truly diagnose yourself with them, and truly believe in them and accept them, you'll realise you don't need to compare your symptoms to others because they are your signal that your brain doesn't feel safe, and yours alone.

Everyone on this forum is super supportive, you're not alone.

I hear your urgency, and I was there too, I promise.

But, the 5 Fs keep TMS alive...

(From My TMS Journey)

I heard a really inspiring recovery story on a recent episode of one of my favourite podcasts ‘The Mind and Fitness Podcast with Eddy Lindenstein’. Part of the story was an insight into a conversation that the interviewee had experienced during her treatment with Dr Howard Schubiner. Eddy jumped at the chance to ask great questions and what was revealed was a fabulous summary of mindset reminders of WHAT NOT TO DO when healing from a stress illness, I thought it was the perfect summary and it totally deserved being highlighted here.

These articles are aimed to encourage and inspire and never point fingers or lay blame to anyone’s struggle with these things, they are totally normal and expected. Practice these mindset reminders every day and they will help you chip away at that wall around you that might be keeping you stuck from healing.

Check out the interview of Dr Chatterjee with Dr Schubiner on chronic pain and why these factors are so important to understand. It's a brilliant episode on Dr Chaterjee's podcast Feel Better Live More.

FEAR
Chronic pain is fuelled by FEAR. Not only fear of your chronic symptoms but fear of this being your whole life, fear of lifelong disability, fear of facing your demons, fear of your future, fear of failure, fear of whatever impending doom you’re focussing on. Learning to dial down the FEAR is an ENORMOUS part of TMS recovery.

Teaching yourself to be still with yourself and little by little feeling safer and at ease with your current situation (whatever that looks like) is a huge step in setting yourself free from the shackles of your chronic scenario. Check out this article dedicated to how to overcome the fear of symptoms and relapse for more information.

FOCUS
Being able to shift your focus onto something other than your symptoms is no small feat. When chronic suffering rules your everyday life, it can actually feel like that’s all you have. Whenever you find yourself obsessing, overthinking or ruminating in the negative thoughts of your situation, notice what you’re doing and switch to something else. As Dr Schubiner says in his book 'Unlearn your Pain' - "The ways in which people think about their pain and the feelings that are connected to it have a great impact on their severity."

Notice your symptoms from a place of safety, be curious of them instead of fearful of them. They are a messenger after all just trying to help you and protect you. BUT - starve your symptoms of frantic negative fearful attention and try to create a mindset of indifference towards them. Focus on things you’d love to do instead, what brings you joy and go and do it if you can. Go for a walk, do some gardening (or just draw and plan your garden if your mobility is restricted), read something, listen to your favourite music, plan something fun, call a friend, get intimate with your partner (or just think about it), read some recipes and plan your dinner, ANYTHING that will turn your focus into something positive and beneficial not negative or detrimental.

FIX
This is a tricky one when you’re desperate to be better, but one of the worst things you can do is constantly be trying to solve your situation. Let go of trying to fix yourself because YOU CANNOT MAKE YOUR PAIN GO AWAY. It's impossible to force this. Us TMSers tend to be very perfectionistic, go-getters and try-harders, but this is the time where you will need to learn loving self-control. There is no way you can fix this by trying really hard, you can only show up and practice the guidelines given by the experts and focus on getting on with living your life.

FRUSTRATION
Try your best not to get pissed off with this journey, it’s ball-busting enough as it is without any added frustrations fuelling the what already feels like a chaotic dumpster fire. Trust in the process of this work and try to be at peace with yourself and ride the wave.

FIGHT
Battling with your situation and your symptoms it what keeps many people stuck here in shitshow limbo-land. Fighting it can wear you down and make you feel like you can't carry on, and healing just isn’t going to happen for you. Your brain and your nervous system might make you feel like jumping off this healing train, but they are cunningly just trying to protect you, so try to show the same energy back - show yourself some love, acceptance and surrender.

Giving up feels like you’re not doing anything towards your healing but that’s partly the key to recovery. SURRENDER. Whatever is happening is OK, you are safe, you are healing and however this looks or feels, it’s OK.

I clearly remember the day I had just had enough with all of this, the years of battling, doctors, tests, drugs, treatments. I threw in the towel and it felt like rock bottom. Little did I know this was the tipping point for me, the exact point I had to reach to start the ascent back into my life. I really hope these five themes inspire you to keep going!

 

Imo a totally brilliant posting, @HealingNow!

The way I grew to think of it is that it's like you can't force yourself to sleep; all you can do is lay the foundations for it... comfy bed and pyjamas, warm duvet, drawn curtains to darken the bedroom, and so on. Same with losing pain and other mind/body/TMS symptoms--you can only prepare the ground by, as you say, 'following the guidelines', and the brain will in its own good time respond to such things as you've written you're doing on another recent thread:
- love myself more
- respect my body
- teach myself safety
- maintain my boundaries
That's not to say that the 'foundations' have to be absolutely perfect. 'Lifey' stuff still happens but doing what you've listed makes the brain realise that it doesn't need to give you symptoms, you can deal with the lifey stuff without them.

 

@SanandoAhora, Hola, muchas gracias por tus palabras; son muy reconfortantes. Sé y debo entender que el camino es único para cada persona, y eso no significa que nuestro dolor o nuestros síntomas no puedan desaparecer. En cuanto al inglés, mi teléfono lo traduce automáticamente, pero uso un traductor para poder compartir las publicaciones.
Mi dolor es, en mi opinión, muy intenso. Aunque siento neuropatías intermitentes por todas partes, y síntomas que parecen haber remitido casi por completo —como alodinia, electricidad en las mejillas y dolor intenso en las piernas—, a veces siguen regresando con intensidad. Por ejemplo, en las piernas, siento hormigueo y una ligera sensación de ardor la mayor parte del tiempo. Podría decir que, viéndolo desde el lado positivo, esto es un avance.
Sin embargo, tengo un dolor persistente; ha sido el síntoma más temido desde el principio: mis brazos. Muchos días, estos dolores nerviosos cambian de intensos a ardor y a pinchazos en diferentes partes del brazo —pueden ser los dedos y el codo, luego el hombro— y pueden cambiar en cuestión de minutos. Antes, el dolor en los brazos era más permanente, aunque fluctuaba en intensidad en ambos lados. Ahora, su naturaleza cambiante me pone nervioso y me hace preguntarme si alguien podría realmente ignorarlo.
Hago lo que puedo; realizo mis actividades con normalidad, ya que el dolor nunca me ha impedido hacerlas. Si dejaba de hacerlo durante unos meses, era por miedo. Ahora lo hago todo; de hecho, es mi forma de olvidar o desviar la atención del dolor en esa zona. Claro que siento miedo, es innegable, pero ya no se trata tanto del síntoma en sí; creo que casi estoy superando esa etapa. No soy perfecta, por supuesto; ese miedo todavía me invade cuando los síntomas se intensifican o se vuelven demasiado móviles, e intento no caer en él. Pero los demás miedos siguen ahí: el miedo a no mejorar, a la permanencia, al fracaso, a no hacerlo bien, y el miedo a que el dolor en los brazos sea imposible de superar.
Actualmente, trato de decirme constantemente pensamientos positivos para que los negativos no aparezcan, como: 'Si ellos pueden hacerlo, yo también', 'Si mi cerebro aprendió esto, puede desaprenderlo', 'Solo tengo que vivir la vida como si no me importara, y eso es suficiente para enviar señales de seguridad', 'El cerebro de todos es plástico', 'El camino no es lineal', y muchas cosas más.

 

@SanandoAhora" El punto donde dices 'resolver' me resulta muy confuso, o quizás no se tradujo bien. ¿Quieres decir que no puedo resolver mis síntomas en este momento y que esto se conecta con la última parte donde dices que es mejor rendirse y vivir lo mejor posible? ¿Y que solo al soltar todo el estrés de querer curarme, se producirá la mejora esperada?"

 

All of your symptoms are similar to mine, I had them constant 24/7 burning hot sharp pain (I was diagnosed with occipital neuralgia and other nonsense). They have changed in quality now which I have finally surrendered to the fact they are neuroplastic and when I surrender, the weight lifts off and the pain reduces, I can't fight with myself, I have to trust that my brain is saving me from something worse because that's where I was headed before TMS.

Acceptance is key, accept yourself for who you are, who you want to be and the body will do the rest later. I've stopped taking myself so seriously... life isn't meant to be serious, it's meant to be full of joy and laughter. When I was in my lowest days, I couldn't even think of not being serious because I was seriously in pain, its real I feel it.

But when you look upon yourself, and look back at the urgency I felt and the urgency to get injections and nerve blocks and all these physical things I was wasting my money on, I have so much clarity that I was running away from the very thing my body was also trying to protect me from (my emotions, my lack of boundaries, my lack of respect for myself etc like @BloodMoon highlights again for me!).

We are all here, with you together. The symptoms are not your enemy, the symptoms are symptoms of TMS which is the cause. Which is why people on here say to stop focussing on the symptoms. If you had any other cause of pain, i.e. you cut your arm or break your leg, you'd say I have a broken bone and it will heal. Similarly with TMS, you don't need to describe the symptoms of TMS because you know the cause. So, you can say - I have TMS and it will heal.

Outcome independence is doing the work, regardless of symptoms, if they go away then great, if they don't - the work is still important and brilliant for your own discovery of yourself. I'm at the point now that I'm so bloody grateful for my symptoms, because I'm so so so glad I didn't continue with my familial behavioural pattern because I was not safe. It took my body to tell me that to finally listen to my mind.

It may help you, it works for me but I actually don't talk about my pain anymore, and if I really really need to tell my husband-to-be that I'm feeling symptoms I call it "my bananas" and he knows exactly what I mean.... I think of it like this (from Dan Bugulio's book):

- in school I took spanish lessons, and I was really good at it, I could speak whole conversations in Spanish.
- its been 11 years since I went to school and I haven't really spoken much spanish
- I now can't speak spanish, I remember the odd word if I really put my brain to work
- I didn't actively try to unlearn spanish, I just got pre-occupied with other things

When we think about symptoms/pain all day every day, we learn it like a language, we are hypervigiliant to everything our bodies are doing, we talk the pain language all day every day to anyone that will listen and re-inforce to our brains that we are in danger.

Bananas are less scary than pain.

Maybe try find a word you find funny, and change 'neuropathy' or 'pain' to it and laugh.