Symptom Imperative/Extinction Burst - I can't help but laugh.

I just need to talk about this because I am having a great day haha

If you take a look at my posting history... I have had some pretty intense battles with fear, obsessive thoughts and doubt. I am not proud of it but I think I have finally found my stride. Since my last post, I have been working on several things that were keeping me stuck such as checking for physical/structural issues constantly, fearing my symptoms, and not attending to myself and my emotions in the way that I should have been.

My story has always been pelvic pain and symptoms (vulvar burning, urethral burning, urinary urgency/frequency/pain, vulvar and rectal itching, electric shocks, pelvic floor tightness/dysfunction, and so on) and I was trying all of the techniques I had heard about to no avail. The SEP was helpful at first but I quickly realized it was not going to work for me as my perfectionism began to interfere and just kept getting in the way. If I missed a day of the program, I would feel like I failed and it really messed with me mentally so I simply stepped away from it. Journaling made me feel like I was digging up old, painful bones and then placing a band-aid over the reopened wounds after and so I stepped away from that as well. Somatic tracking helped with my headaches, random nerve pain in my limbs and vulvar burning but it made the itching worse. My method as of late has been to simply listen to Dr. Sarno audiobooks while I drive to and from work, watch Dan Buglio videos (his methodology is so chill and it makes me feel so safe), listening to Tanner Murtagh and Nichole Sacchs, I even emailed Dr. Schubiner and he told me he was absolutely certain that my condition is TMS (and if I am being honest, that was the day I lost my fear to the symptoms; Dr. Schubiner is such a kind man), and reading success stories here (I have read Ezer's and Dorado's stories repeatedly and will continue to because they have brought me so much comfort on some of my more challenging days). I have been working to add to my belief piggy bank. I stay away from reddit, support groups, googling any symptom and have been surrounding myself with TMS based podcasts, videos and reading scientific papers. And... at some point, I was having a weird symptom day and said "F-- it. Brain, do what you want. I don't care anymore".

And my brain has said "Oh yeah? You don't care anymore? Okay." If I didn't believe I had TMS before, I definitely believe it now. I stopped caring about my pelvic pain. It doesn't scare me at all anymore. Over the past three weeks, I have had little "warnings" happen such as my lower back will lightly ache (I have never had back pain in my life so this was funny to me because I have been listening to HBP all week), my knees will start to ache, I have had an increase in anxiety and wanting to binge eat (I am not though), my teeth will lightly hurt, and I keep getting dull neck pain. I didn't pay any mind to these and they have gone away. I KNOW my brain is trying to find something that will stick and I am not allowing it to happen. Yesterday, the symptom imperative/extinction burst began again and is manifesting as itching all down my back, forehead, neck, stomach. legs and chest. I don't have any signs of rash, no bumps of any kind, just itching that is moving around moment to moment. My response to this has been to laugh. In an odd way, I am so excited about this development because it confirms everything for me. The pelvic floor itching is what scared me the most over the course of the last year and once I stopped being afraid of it, my whole body is now itching. Of all the symptoms that could be generated, it's the one that I had previously feared the most and I find that so fascinating. I got my symptoms on the run. I am confident they are on their last stand.

I was prepared for this. Things can sometimes get worse before they get better. I knew that once I started reducing my fear, that a symptom imperative or extinction burst was likely. I'll just keep laughing and being in awe of how incredible my brain is for being able to create such interesting sensations. Oh, and meditate for safety and calmness. I would love to hear about some of your extinction burst experiences!

 

Cool story! It truly is amazing how our brains know just how to scare us. But then again, they ARE us! I have a long TMS history, with one symtom setting in for several years, to be replaced by another. I used to have severe panic problems. It finally made me housebound. After awhile, I had to get a job and it was out of the house. I forged ahead through horrific days of panic. Then one day I had a panic attack while in a restaurant with my new boss and coworkers. Right there at the table! My worst nightmare. They didn’t notice. Or they didn’t say anything. After that, whenever my panic would mount toward an attack, I’d say “Go ahead. I don’t care.” That was when it left for good! (This was pre-Sarno for me). Right now I have a bunch of symptoms all adding up to cramping of my whole body. As I try to do anything, it cramps up tighter. It’s like I’m the tin man in wizard of oz. The pain and cramping hasn’t really let up. It has intensified. But it has thrown in some random IBS and tooth aches. I don’t scare easily, so it’s easy for me to blow off those things. But this weirdness of the cramping I’ve had for the past year or so has got me annoyed. And being annoyed is letting it win. And so…I battle on. Thanks for your story! You’re doing great!

 

I'm just wondering whether this might help re the cramping... (it's from Drew Coverdale's book 'The Pain Habit: Your Journey To Recovery' which I am rereading atm):

"if you can’t tolerate any movement. Just visualise moving in a way that has been painful for you. Imagine moving in a comfortable way. Repeat this sequence seven to ten times and reward yourself for it. Amazingly, this will lay down connections in your brain in exactly the same way as if you were actually performing the movement."

Coverdale says that rewarding yourself immediately afterwards would be saying a celebratory "Yes!” or "Get in there" or suchlike, and then the new 'habit' of moving comfortably immediately starts to wire into your brain.

Another thing that I wonder re the cramping is whether it would help or even be curative if you were to meditate and imagine/visualise oxygenated blood is coursing throughout your body bringing oxygen to your hands and legs and easing and nourishing the tissues of your body. Your visualisation could move on to include imagining and feeling your body moving easily and peacefully. As you will know, Dr Sarno hypothesised that the TMSing brain causes mild hypoxia to create pain and that even though it's 'mild' it can create profound and severe symptoms. His theory may or may not be true and if true it may be only one of the mechanisms that the brain employs to give us symptoms. Personally, imho, I think it's the latter, and it seems to me that your all over cramping could be due to hypoxia as lack of oxygen to the tissues causes cramping. Dr James Alexander has a guided imagery session that's all about restoring oxygen to painful areas of the body on his website that you could consider downloading and using, costs A$10 https://www.drjamesalexander-psychologist.com/product/13438701/guided-imagery-for-chronic-pain (Guided Imagery for Chronic Pain | Dr James Alexander, PhD Psychologist)

I was reading that slow, shallow breathing can cause hypoxia too, so perhaps consider making a 'Tiny Habit' of taking some deep breaths in association with some things you do every day, e.g. every time you go to the bathroom, before and after you drink a cup of tea or whatever (and then, of course, reward yourself with a "Yes!").

 

I love this! This is the way to go! Great, encouraging story @GhostlyMarie! Thanks so much for posting!

 

Thank you, @BloodMoon ! You always offer such great ideas! I’m going to try all of them! Thank you for your kind, caring and thorough response to my situation. I hope it might help others like me, as well. Even though this has been a rough way to go, deep inside, I feel hopeful! And you help with that.