Alan G. Terrible relapse

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Question

Hello I am back here after a year of being cured. Pain Free. I have my life back and enjoying every minute of it. I have been shouting it from the rooftops and telling anyone who will listen. Anyone I meet with chronic pain I tell them all about Dr Sarno's books and TMS. I have helped others become pain free and it feels great! So, 2 weeks ago I had abdominal surgery and have been on best rest. Suddenly, out of nowhere, when I got out of bed yesterday morning I took a step which sent me into the most horrific lower back spasm I'd ever encountered. I yelped out and it almost flung me to my knees. It was like a lighting bolt of pain. I was able to move around slowly and it eased off to a dull ache finally disappearing...but then the right knee pain started. I was limping. Every time I got up from lying this would happen over & over again. Today I did not spend the day in bed. I have been sitting going over all my TMS information from last year. Then again. all of a sudden, it moved down the back of one leg and into my ankle and up my spine, into my shoulders, even into my arms. My entire body was freezing up with searing pain. I got in a boiling hot shower which calmed me down (I could feel my whole body was tight & tense) I lay down for a few minutes which felt fine but after getting up again BAM it hit. I have not experienced pain like that since childbirth. I am sure this must be TMS as I realize I cannot injure myself by lying in bed (but there is always my MRI results from last year popping into my head. Several bulging discs, herniated discs, bone spurs, osteophytes, scoliosis, mild stenosis and osteo arthritis....did I make something flare up from 2 weeks of inactivity? That certainly doesn't sound logical) Anyway...my apologies for the long post but thought I should paint the full picture of whats happening... My question is no matter how hard I try to push through, it doesnt work....gets worse. No matter if I try to ignore it, it doesnt work...gets stronger till it brings me to my knees, in tears and literally squeezed the air out of my lungs. I have started journaling again and reading all the success stories and watching them on youtube. I just downloaded the Great Pain Deception so am reading that now. How do I deal with this intense, crippling, out of this world pain attacks. They literly freeze me in my tracks and I cannot move in any direction for FEAR of it happening again. Its the Fear which is perpetuating this Im sure but I cant understand how to stop this. It was so easy the first time. A true miracle. Now Im scared this will take a while to go and Im leaving for a 5 week trip in a Month. I do have alot on my mind and stress Im dealing with....including recovering from Major surgery. Anyway...any suggestions of what to do when the crippling pain starts would be appreciated. I have painkillers but reluctant to take them....to give in to the TMS. And can TMS cause enough pain to almost make you pass out or throw up? I came very close last time I got out of bed. Its terrifying.

 

Answer

Easy there... You are putting so much pressure on yourself. First of all, this definitely sounds like tms, especially how frequently and randomly the pain jumps around. People often have flares after procedures, because the mind now has something to sell you on...

You're trying way to hard to get rid of the pain. Even when you're ignoring it its with the ulterior motive of getting rid of it.

There's nothing wrong with you. You're safe. Just repeat that to yourself. It's going to be okay. This is just your mind's way of trying to scare you. Just keep repeating to yourself that you're safe, the pain will go when it's ready. Don't give yourself any timelines, look at this as an opportunity to practice helping yourself feel safe in the face of fear

Alan

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Thank you so much for your reply. I have been able to relax and the pain is easing. Moving but easing. Its so difficult when the pain is that intense. I appreciate your response Thank you again.