Too Focused on TMS Treatment

I have made good gains in the past several months but still definitely have hills and valleys with it. My question is this - does anyone else feel like they are obsessed with TMS now? I feel like I am convinced that I have it and know that's it a real thing. I have so much evidence it's ridiculous that I have it from the symptoms and how they are to my personality and past history. There's no doubt that I have TMS and have had it for much of my life with some symptom. Now, I feel like I'm constantly thinking about it though. Every single event in my life, every movement, every emotion, every situation - I'm thinking about how it's going to affect my TMS. The fact that I have TMS actually makes me feel less empowered because it's created by an unconscious process and sometimes I really doubt that I can overcome it. I just want to live my life and not think about symptoms and pain anymore. I know I'm TMSing all the time - how do you overcome that and just live life without thinking too much? I am constantly on here and reading about TMS. I know that the need for excess information is another form of TMS too.

 

As you quite rightly alluded to at the end of your post, researching symptoms and how they fit the TMS framework is actually TMS'ing in itself.

I hear what you say when you mention that you want to live your life without thinking about the pain or symptoms anymore but i know for myself I have now pretty much accepted that symptoms, degrees of pain and TMS will be in my life at varying stages.

I am the worlds worse for gathering information about TMS and then getting stuck in the rut of information overload. All I really know is that whilst not totally symptom/pain free I managed to stay off forums and the like for well over 2 years and TMS/health/pain/symptoms just didn't seem to be on my radar at that time. The reason for this is that I got busy with other stuff and was getting fit and doing family stuff and I just didn't seem to just live in my head anymore...it wasn't just a distraction it was that I was engaged in life.

I don't know if this is relevant to you but i just find the more bored, unfulfilled and angsty I get with my life the more my body plays up and the more I'm drawn back into the obsession and information hunting. I do believe that boredom and introspection are a terrible combination when we have a pain disorder.

 

Hello cogirl05,

I absolutely love that you're using TMS as a verb! Tms-ing is the perfect way to describe that tense, pressure-filled mindset. That tension has invaded every area of my life, which is why I developed tms in the first place. And my tms work is no exception. The best antidote I have found is self-acceptance. I can become aware of my obsessive thinking and then be kind to myself about it. Sometimes, just the noticing and the self-acceptance help me calm down.

Huckleberry, I like your point about boredom. I'm on vacation now and at first it was awesome, but now not so much. Too much thinking and not enough doing is definitely not as great as I thought it would be. Thanks for helping put words to what I'm feeling right now.

 

I love the comments here. And your inquiry COgirlO5!

Seems COgirlO5 that you are answering your own questions. You know your thinking and problem solving and attention are only increasing your suffering. Both in your mind, and also, possibly with your symptoms. Utlimately, just compassion for how you get caught is a great approach. With compassion you don't increase fear and agitation about what you're doing. It is all OK and natural, part of our experience as humans!

What I did after some recovery is that I did not come to the forum. And I chose some basic Sarno practices that I felt were supportive, daily, and then just left it alone. Mine were to read the 12 daily reminders and contemplate them for about 10 minutes a day, and to slowly increase my activity level. To me, that second part was signaling my brain that I was not listening to the fear, pain, etc. It was my way to "think psychological" without self-analysis which I am already extremely prone to anyway. I didn't want more of it, because it can lead to "self blame."

You might use your inner guidance to select some basic Sarno daily practice, that tends not to activate your TMSing. Just a light touch that sends a message that you know the game here.

It sounds like "thinking psychologically" has become second nature to you, which is great. And that at some point you are beginning to "use it against yourself." That is, you observe the mental activity, connect it with the pain, then blame yourself for not ceasing the mental activity/pain? You get caught in a fixing mentality. Then you try to fix the "fixing mentality!"

I think all of this points to painful loops we all experience. Where only compassion and awareness can help. With awareness you can observe the activity, and turn your attention to something else. You can use skillful means to not put more fuel on the fire.

That is partly why I just decided to do less mental stuff to work with my TMS for awhile. It becomes a mindf***k if you're not careful! If you can just observe it as "TMSing," name it, understand it does not help, have compassion for the loop, and come back into awareness, this may be your best practice.

Another piece to mention for you is just to accept pain/symptoms when it arises, figure it is no big deal, and turn your attention back to whatever else you are doing. Understanding that I am prone to TMS, and that symptoms arise as part of my "nature" is really helpful for me. When I don't fight the symptoms, they almost never stick around!

Andy B.

 

Hi COgirl05

1/ Yes - I too felt i was obsessed with 'tms' especially in the beginning (I'm only 2 months into my journey) I think most of us would admit to that !
I think its important for us NOT to allow ourselves become TOO obsessed - knowledge is power, but 'too much' power can 'go to our heads'

2/ Yes I too was convinced that I had 'it' ... until I REALISED that I was just replacing my diagnosed 'illnesses' with this new tms
So I TOLD myself over and over and OVER that tms was NOT an 'illness' its simply a condition - something that will not (if I dont allow it) cause permanent structural damage - it will come, and it WILL GO ... If you've dont an evidence sheet, hopefully you can see that, what ever your 'symptoms' are, they come, but sometimes they GO !!
Yes - tms is real - but with WORK it can be controlled
Yes - you have 'it' , you have proved that , but now ... do the WORK to control, minimise, banish 'it'
*note* see how i use 'it' instead of tms/TMS/TMSing I am doing my up most to BELITTLE 'it' , by not giving it much meaning/value
'it' is NOT a disease that my doctor has labelled me with
'it' is simply a condition to be overcome

3/ The constant 'thinking' is exactly part of the reason we are all here with 'it'
Its part of our personality traits that MAKES us susceptible to 'it'
I think in order for us to keep 'it' at bay - we simply MUST make adjustments to who we are and how we think ....
NOT by changing who we are , but by making small adjustments to our personalities and that way we think, REPROGRAMMING our thought patterns... Im trying to do this by, if I would normally react a certain way , Im now stopping myself, and thinking to myself 'is my thinking right/correct ... could I possibly be wrong in my thinking ... could there be a different way of looking at things... if I went about this differently ... would the outcome be different ????' Its been difficult, but Im doing it, and Yes , the outcomes HAVE been different , its amazed me alot !! And if I can change slightly, I think anyone can

4/ Thats EXACTLY what 'it' wants - 'it' wants to be in control, not you!
You have the power in your mind to overcome 'it' , I try to do this by constantly talking to myself (in my head) saying things like ''lol tms is really trying hard today, to distract me'' ''lol I'm not going to let 'it' win, I will beat 'it' ''

worrying about how its going to affect your pain - thats PROGRAMMING - so you need to REPROGRAMME that particular thought - change it around, spin it back on itself
i.e. 'Im worried by doing this activity will cause me pain tomorrow' turns around to 'Im NOT worried about doing this activity today it will NOT cause me pain tomorrow'

tms wants you to worry that you'll never overcome it - turn it around - I'm NOT worried, and I WILL overcome it !!
Its a difficult thing to think, because your reprogramming everything you ever thought, but it can be done !

5/ This I think, is all about living in the PRESENT so no more over thinking - where does it get you? Nowhere, does it change anything? No it doesn't ...
no more worrying about the future pain , if the pain comes , then it comes, just say 'hello pain your here to remind me my WORK it not yet finished - thank you for reminding me' welcome it, instead of dreading it
no more thinking about what has been/happened - can you time travel and go backwards and stop it from happening? No, you cant - it happened, re living it, over and over doesn't change that fact that it did happen, by going over it all the time keeps it happening inside YOU.

So practice living in the PRESENT, what's happening right now , right this second IS what MATTERS.

I hope that helps xx