Daniel L. What determines when pain starts

This question was submitted via our Ask a TMS Therapist program. To submit your question, click here.

Question

I am also posting this in the Support Forum so hope you don't mind that I am also posting here. It's also the reason that it is directed to more than one person.

I'm curious if anyone can track what brought your pain on at a certain point in your life. I'm 69. I had a neglectful, emotionally abusive childhood and have been a perfectionist, goodist, etc. for most of my life. My pain didn't not start until November of 2015. There was nothing at that particular time in my life that was more stressful than any other time in my life, my childhood of course did not change and my personality did not change. So I'm asking myself why then. Thanks in advance.

 

Answer

I’ll be honest with you: I have no idea. Without getting more information from you, I won’t try and hypothesize why. I don’t know why your pain came on at that point, as opposed to any other point.

For some people it comes on during highly stressful times in our lives, and for others it comes on when we have nothing else to focus on. If we spend a lifetime training our brain to operate at an anxious/perfectionist level, then it becomes uncomfortable when things slow down for us. It is often in those moments that pain begins.

Here is what I’d encourage: don’t worry so much about the why, and focus more on the how you can change things for the better. Best of luck.

---

Any advice or information provided here does not and is not intended to be and should not be taken to constitute specific professional or psychological advice given to any group or individual. This general advice is provided with the guidance that any person who believes that they may be suffering from any medical, psychological, or mindbody condition should seek professional advice from a qualified, registered/licensed physician and/or psychotherapist who has the opportunity to meet with the patient, take a history, possibly examine the patient, review medical and/or mental health records, and provide specific advice and/or treatment based on their experience diagnosing and treating that condition or range of conditions. No general advice provided here should be taken to replace or in any way contradict advice provided by a qualified, registered/licensed physician and/or psychotherapist who has the opportunity to meet with the patient, take a history, possibly examine the patient, review medical and/or mental health records, and provide specific advice and/or treatment based on their experience diagnosing and treating that condition or range of conditions.

The general advice and information provided in this format is for informational purposes only and cannot serve as a way to screen for, identify, or diagnose depression, anxiety, or other psychological conditions. If you feel you may be suffering from any of these conditions please contact a licensed mental health practitioner for an in-person consultation.

Questions may be edited for brevity and/or readability.

 

Hi Daniel,
Interesting you should ask that question. I'm reading a book on trauma and PTSD and the author says, "PTSD can be either acute or delayed-onset. Acute PTSD occurs within 6 months after a traumatic event. In delayed-onset PTSD, the symptoms occur anytime later than six months after the traumatic event. This can be 1 year, 20 years, or even 40 years after the traumatic event."
Trauma can also be developmental in nature, where someone (presumably a child) is exposed to chronic, long-term abuse, neglect, or misattunement. Maybe that's what you're suffering from?