What do you tell yourself when you have pain?

So I am at the start of my tms journey.. I'm a dog walker so part of my job is alot of walking.. When the pain hits and I'm able to sit down, I've been telling myself that I am safe. It's not a structural problem.. (unstable pelvis, hypermobility was my physical diagnosis) what do you say to yourself that you feel helps?

 

Hello @Back2life23 ,

Thanks--great question. I got to thinking about how I talk out loud to myself (and that's what I talk about below). I realize you're talking a lot about self-talk/the internal dialogue when you're working and out walking dogs. It's great to think about that natural downtime in our lives and how we use it productively (and sometimes that just means being quiet too).
I wish you well!



Here is an older thread that might be helpful:
https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/talking-to-myself.10585/ (Talking to myself....)

Check this Youtube video out, especially starting at around 9:00:


I think each of us needs to try some different practices out and see what feels comfortable and works for us. And, sometimes a practice or way of talking to myself works now but will naturally change in the future.

I found that video helpful, but I have done things very different than what he suggests. And, you might have a slightly different experience than both of us.
He talks (esp. at 9:00 and after) about speaking calmly and rationally to ourselves and not coming from a place of anger or fear. He also said you won't experience results the first time.
When I was trying to let go of symptoms for the very first time (while I was reading Dr. Sarno's first book), I found a couple places where I could just scream. One was the beach on a windy winter day and the other was deep in a wooded area away from trails. I let it all out!! The fear, the frustration, the anger. Cursed, screamed, asked questions, pleaded, and all sorts of stuff....exhausted myself.
And, that was cathartic for me. I found short-term relief from the pain right there.
I have gone back to that practice at several different times.
But, I've found I don't need to do that very often any more. I can talk to myself in a much different way.
I bet there are many many ways that people talk to themselves.

 

I ask myself "what's going on right now?" and then I answer myself. I do recall being on a walk one day and feeling the pain sensations increasing and saying "i'm safe, i'm safe" and that didn't cut the mustard for me. I now know it's because my brain did not believe the words. I figured out that asking myself questions was more helpful.

*pain!*
Hey, what's going on?
-I don't know.
Well, are you stressed?
-I guess.
What is stressing you out?
-I feel like the neighbors think I'm crazy because I walk so much.
Okay, is that likely true?
-I mean, probably not because most people are just thinking about themselves.
Is there anything else going on?
-Yeah, I want to go to the grocery store at 7 because it's less crowded, but I also want to go to Ulta which doesn't open until 10 am. The timing isn't working.
Could you go to Publix after Ulta?
-Yeah but I don't like going to Publix when it is busy because the people make me mad.
Why?
-Because I don't like how they (shop, walk, smack, talk, select, smell, look).
Can you get over it?
-Yes
How?
-I will listen to a podcast and be sure to pace myself. I will buy something fun (peanut m&ms) and munch while I browse. I will smile at the other shoppers. I will give myself some MERCY so I can give others the same.

...relief sets in.

That is literally the kind of internal dialogue I had to learn to do to start figuring all the myriad things that f*****g infuriate me. What's super humbling is that much of my disdain for people is a longing to be more like them. I YEARN to be more relaxed (walk slower). I've worked so hard to find food freedom, so I'm jealous of someone's cart full of junk (live your life!). But, judging "feels" easier. It has served to place me into a very isolated existence. I am now sooooo grateful to be coming out of that mindset. This is why I am grateful for my TMS.

Sorry, rambling.

 

@CaptivaLady
I really like your conversation with yourself! And it shows how the seeming “little things” that bother us aren’t so little. Just like you, people bug me a lot. And I hate to admit it about myself. I hate to acknowledge that I’m that critical. I love your insights about why you judge. I need to explore that more. I know this is an old post, but thanks!

 

‘Welcome!