What happens when you connect to the anger..

But it has a detrimental effect.

For example I feel 100% connected to my anger and the main idea of tms is to do that.

But since I have done people have started to avoid me and I can see they're uncomfortable being around someone with so much anger.

I've never taken it out on anyone else but people seem to pick up on it and can be uncomfortable with being around someone with a lot of anger in them.

There's time's where I've gone back to subduing my emotions just so I can fit in or relax again

Anyone got any advice?

 

Hi @Lee222. My advice is to get your anger out onto paper in a journal.

Resources for emotional writing include:

The TMSWiki’s guide to journaling: https://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/How_do_I_journal%3F (How do I journal?)

Nichole Sach’s method of journaling, called Journalspeak: https://www.yourbreakawake.com/journalspeak (JournalSpeak | BreakAwake by Nicole Sachs)

David Hanscom MD and former back surgeon, from his Back In Control program: https://backincontrol.com/the-4-stages/stage-1-laying-the-foundation/begin-expressive-writing/ (Expressive Writing - Back in Control)

 

Yeah I get that but surely if you've spent a few hours getting angry onto a journal, you're gonna carry a bit over with you in day to day life,

Plus how do you know when the anger is gone? A daily dose of anger can be exhausting,.I'm not sure how much longer I can keep it up

 

Maybe. And, if so, any such 'overspill' is likely to get less and less with expressive journaling on a daily basis.

When you feel better; when your pain and/or other symptoms are gone.

The only way out is through. You don't have to spend "a few hours" at a time (or a day) journaling; you can journal for less time and take things in baby steps, which is likely to be less exhausting.

If you don't like the idea of journaling and therefore don't want to try it, I'll leave it to other forum members to offer their suggestions as to what else you could try regarding dealing with your anger.

 

I don't know. My partner now really connects to his anger, or rage after Dr. Sarno's books. He read Clare Weekes' book and somewhat improved but not much yet. Minor triggers still set him up like a severe thunderstorm. It has taken a great toll on others in the family and himself. There is also a tendency of blaming the trigger as well. We have analyzed it several times for the deeper reasons (I almost felt I could become a psychoanalyst myself), but we haven't found a great solution yet. We are still working on it. I know he read this forum too and may even recognize my posts. The solutions that come to mind include totally removing the triggers (living in an isolated environment), suppressing/repressing the rage that may lead to other physical symptoms, burst of rage periodically like a pressure release (long after mess to deal with for people who witness the rage outbursts), learning to recognize the minor triggers and negative feelings but not getting rageful. Anything else? When I read Dr. Sarno's books, everybody said their pain got better, they recognized their rage, sorrow, fear, etc., and seemed to be happy afterwards. I found a few examples in the third book regarding symptom imperative that one may get rid of the pain but then got quite mad then seemed OK after psychotherapy. Or this rage is still symptom imperative to distract oneself from feeling something one can't face? Also my partner has done a lot of journaling (daily).

 

Hi, @Lee222
I experienced the same thing when I started journaling. There would be plenty of leftover anger. And no amount of journaling got it out. After a couple months of that, I started journaling a little less—I went from an hour/day to maybe 2 times/week. That helped a bit. Also, some of the rage just started to die down after I wrote about things enough. I learned about things and what was making me mad, and I was able to avoid some of the situations and people that make me mad.

When I first started journaling I had this hope that it would cure me if I just did it enough. But it seems nothing in and of itself is a cure for me. It’s the cumulative effect of all the things you work on that start to take the edge off of TMS. It’s working on rage and also fear and anxiety. And working on good head talk and limiting exposure to hard things. Hope this helps!

 

My PT had an excellent idea, he suggested thinking and considering the things you might be angry about and using a punching bag while you are thinking about it all. It's actually become our eventual work out goal for me - to beat the crap out of a bag hanging in the garage a few times a week.

Completely removing triggers is a temporary fix. The mind will continue to find similar triggers and keep up guise until it can manage to find a way to deal with whatever in his mind is connected to the trigger. It is NEVER the trigger itself, that's just the catalyst. The trigger is always the inner thoughts and self-judgements and must usually perceptions that are not true to ourselves. My triggers have greatly reduced with a few months of EMDR. The brain's filing system seems to finally be able to deal with the subconcious baggage with EMDR - without having to do a lot of talk therapy. It works quite well. I find EFT can work well too, on your own to help soften the triggers and become more in line with your inner truth's.

"Or this rage is still symptom imperative to distract oneself from feeling something one can't face? Also my partner has done a lot of journaling (daily)." - this is part of Dr. Hanscom's theories.

 

That sounds great!!!