Why can’t I laugh at these symptoms

So I know I have TMS, got better with it 3 times with back pain, well this time I’ve been dealing with a different symptom (groin pain, which actually started as slight back pain)… but anyway since working on things I’ve noticed my pain shift around, symptoms drop, old pains in back/butt come and go for no rhyme or reason, and even this right neck/shoulder that has only ever happened in when I was dealing with TMS and making progress… usually all of these symptoms make me laugh and I get so much clarity on what happening… none of this has stopped me from living and kept me from being who I want to be or doing what I want to do (probably why all the symptoms do what they do) but man it’s difficult some days

My issue is that I know what’s happening and I know what it is, I just can not get myself to laugh at all the things it’s doing.. in the past I’ve seen all these attempts as that “hey look over here now” and then I laugh at it and know my Unconscious is drawing for straws, which I still know it is… but I can not laugh at these attempts like I’ve done in the past.. I don’t fear them as I know they aren’t dangerous, just can’t get in the right head space

This is more of a rant I guess than asking for real advice

honestly I’m still in that information stage where I think I can gain something new TMS wise when I already know it all and know what’s up, which really is a TMS thing in itself

 

@dharn999
Perhaps you are going through an increased fear and anxiety phase too.
Can you focus more on your emotions and the physical sensation responses to them than the pain and other symptoms that hold your attention? Can you find moments to relax as best you can and not worry. I think you may not recognize some hidden fears to them, I know this is definitely the case with me. Often I realize what I think I feel strongly about is my mind trying to make me feel sure of something I’m rally not.. another of those divided mind scenarios. Sometimes I can laugh off symptoms, somedays not as easily, so then I work towards an awareness and curiosity about what I might be hiding from myself.

 

thanks for the advice, I go back and forth with how I’m feeling about the pain. Being indifferent about it and knowing it will go away works well for me, I just know that every time I finally hit that moment of clarity when the pain hits and I just laugh at it because I know it’s not real… truthfully yesterday ended way better than it started, I had longer moments of feeling in control in how I viewed my pain. It’s shifted around the past weeks and has dipped in pain, I unfortunately spend too much time trying to see why these things happen and then get caught into a new loop of thinking physical and ultimately giving too much attention to the symptoms.

 

Pretty accurate I’d say, I would definitely say that I am overthinking the whole thing and am trying too hard to heal (which is me being too hard) . I’m not trying to make sure I do it all perfectly but I’m constantly in my own head over this (often times constantly laying out the facts as to why this is TMS) which keeps me on the process and connected to symptoms and avoiding the emotions.

 

recently before i go
to bed i’ve been asking my unconscious to give me dreams that relate to whatever TMS issue i’m
working through. what come up i’ve found to be very enlightening.

 

So I did that last night and I had a dream about being at a TMS seminar lecture…. No insight on the unconscious wants but found it interesting and it kind of helped me go back to sleep