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Hi again!

Jamesjames1, The process is zig zaggy in nature. The swings in intensity of symptoms and vacillations of mood are a direct reflection of your thoughts and directly correlated to emotional repression mode. What seems random with no rhyme or reason, actually is not. It's not necessary to know cause and effect but rather what IS necessary is remaining calm and unfazed. When you are "in it" it's really hard to see the forest from the trees but from an "aerial view" there is a trajectory of progress occurring. You used a tightrope analogy and there is no tightrope. get off the tightrope lol. You do't have to feel like you are walking on eggshells and any misstep and boom! ...you're back to square 1. This is simply a fear and a false belief. You can't make any mistakes and nothing you do is "right" or "wrong". That is just you placing judgment on things that don't need to be judged. Just as your pain is temporary, so are your THOUGHTS. I can't stress this enough. Your thoughts are not reality and just because you think something doesn't make it true. When you relax and let go, and trust in the process and get back to your life without pressure and with joy....the pain strategy loses it's purpose without you having to "do" anything. One day someone will ask you a bit nervously about your pain and it will take you aback because you had stopped thinking about it. You will realize "you know what? I'm doing really well actually!'... and it's all because you stopped thinking about it.

Phillyjoe, What you describe is incredibly common! I don't think there's one person who hasn't had those thoughts. The key is to not calendar watch and compare...."I was doing so great in 2017 and working out every day at the gym. Now I can't do anything. My life is over. I'm doomed and sad. Thinking about 2017 makes me sad". Flip that script to..." I was doing great in 2017 which PROVES there is nothing wrong with me and I will be back in the gym working out! This is just a temporary experience I'm having. I'm already well. " One thing that probably helped me is I've never been big on numbers and dates so I didn't get caught up in calendar watching or timelines or deadlines. My best advice is to throw the calendar out the window and stop comparing. Instead, reassure yourself that you are already well and your thoughts are temporary and you are working to change them. I didn't know how long it was going to take me but just the knowledge that I wasn't not broken or doomed, that I was going to get better gave me such peace of mind that the timeline ceased to matter. In the meantime I was going to live happy in the knowledge that it wasn't forever. No rush. Hope this helps!

MiffyBunny