Bookmark

I don't know if you're anything like me, but I've noticed that my thinking can be quite negative. One thought, particularly a negative thought, can lead on to another and then another and another and so on. I believe Eckhart Tolle said something along the lines of that thinking is like a dog following a scent...before you know it the dog has followed so many different scents, it's miles away, down the end of a big field taking no notice of its owner calling it back.

In the light of this, I came across an advice-giving extract (pasted below) from "Stop Thinking, Start Living: Discover Lifelong Happiness" by Richard Carlson, which I'm going to follow in combination with some of the suggestions made in "Solve for happy: Engineer Your Path to Joy" by Mo Gawdat (which I mention in my posting in reply to you on this thread https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/if-you-are-reading-this-you-are-going-to-die.22926/ (If you are reading this, You are going to die)) :

"You will need a large index card on which you should write ‘What am I thinking now?’ Write these words in big, bold letters and carry the card with you everywhere you go for at least one month. As often as possible, every few minutes if you can, look at the card. I know it sounds tedious and even childish – in some ways it is – but it works!

Many people are frightened of what will happen if they stop thinking negatively, because they are used to it. What will you think instead? The answer to this question is very simple: it doesn’t matter. This is not a glib answer. As you catch yourself thinking negatively, and consciously set out to stop doing it, you will find that your mind will be much clearer and freer than it ever has been before. More creative thoughts will naturally replace the old ones. You will be a much more dynamic person. You will seem fresh and new, inspired and uplifted. The last thing in the world you will have to worry about is not having enough to think about! The only word to describe what will happen to you if you stop thinking negatively is amazing. In the absence of negative thinking you will feel like a new person. Your healthy functioning will take over your life. Your thoughts will be different, your attitude will be different, and most of all, the way you feel will be different. You will feel good again. There is simply no way to feel bad if you aren’t thinking bad and if you are in control of what you are thinking. Before you go on reading, try it right now. Let your thoughts flow. If any form of negativity enters your mind, let it pass by. Don’t give it the time of day. Remain uninterested in the negativity."

Also, fellow forum member @miffybunny recovered from TMS (if my memory serves me correctly, she has described her symptoms/pain as having been like 'fibromyalgia on steroids') by doing something very similar to the above. I hope miffy won't mind me sharing, but I collated some of her postings to give me encouragement, as follows:

"It's tension that you are generating on a daily basis from your thoughts. Our chronic negative habitual thought patterns cause inner tension which in turn causes muscle tension. If you become aware of those thought patterns and practice consistently changing them and shifting focus, you disable the pain strategy in a sense.

I had to start becoming aware of a lot of these automatic thoughts I was generating and then I had to catch myself in them. Then I would allow any feeling to arise...if a feeling did come up, I looked at it without judgment, I felt it for about a minute and then I would reach for a better feeling thought. Then I would go about whatever I had been doing and I would shift focus from the physical sensations to my actual life. This took a ton of practice and patience until it became natural and almost automatic. I always compare it to playing a new song on the piano...repetition and practice. Boring and banal but eventually it pays off until I can play the song where it flows...It is daunting knowing that it's all on you to heal, but it's also so empowering and such a relief not to be caught up on the merry go round of the medical mill and endless waiting room visits, and exhaustive searching and rehashing and feeling like a victim.

I totally had this [butt clenching]! It was one of my many TMS manifestations and I had lower back pain as well. I even had injections in the buttocks which looking back was so ridiculous!! It's just that you are generating inner tension every day with your chronic negative thoughts. As soon as you relax and let go and just handle the emotions without judgment, the clenching stops. I was able to overcome this issue pretty easily. It's very straightforward if you think about it. Become aware of your negative thought patterns that are generating the inner tension, then deal with them and remind yourself emotions are safe and then just go about living your life and not caring about the clenching. Become indifferent to it because you know what it is.

Just want to add one more thing: There is no "right" way to do this...no secret recipe or formula. It's a shift in mindset and the tools, modalities, duration and trajectory is different for each person. It's not about "trying harder", "reading more", spending hours researching or journaling. It is soooo much simpler and banal than that. It's calming down with the knowledge you have, practicing the changes you need to make and having some patience. That's it in a nutshell.

Changing our chronic negative thought patterns is equally as important as allowing ourselves to feel emotions and knowing that emotions are safe. All of our physical symptoms are a direct result of how we think and how we are being in that moment. Our bodies are a direct extension of our thoughts. So the first step is becoming aware. The second step is to start creating new "stories" in our heads and more open thought patterns.

Rather than trying to do a 180 from the habitual negative thought loop, redirect to thoughts that generate a feeling of relief....better feeling thoughts like: "I know what this is...these pain sensations are just a signal for me to pay attention to what I'm feeling. Am I feeling anger or resentment about the past? (something that happened earlier today?) or am I worrying about the future? (something to do with work or relationships or finances?). Realize that you are generating tension with these past and future thought loops. What these thought patterns do is cause us to repress negative emotions which then get stuck as energy in the body. Feel the emotion and then begin the work of changing the thoughts in order to get unstuck. So where to start? I suggest focus on breathing and bring yourself to the PRESENT moment first. Then think of things that provide relief like "I am clearing out these old thought patterns and I'm going to handle whatever comes. I am doing my best and I'm going to do something I enjoy or that brings me meaning". At this point you resume the activity you were doing before you got distracted or you act on something you need to do (like tell someone how you felt when they did xyz or tell someone what you need from them, or do that thing you were afraid to do, or resolve to do whatever scary thing is looming in your future and tell yourself you will handle it when the time comes. Whatever happens you will handle it.). So it's: awareness, feeling the emotion, redirecting the thought to a better feeling thought, and finally putting the new thought into action (or just going about your day).

Reversing TMS is a gradual process of cleaning out old rubbish thought patterns. The more consistently you do it, the more it becomes automatic. It's exactly like learning how to play a new song on the piano. This is how I did it with patience and practice, practice, practice. It is slow going in the beginning but then you build momentum over time and it becomes almost like breathing. This is how the pain strategy gets reversed over time. Always stay in the present moment (TMS lives in the past and future) and maintain an attitude of indifference to the TMS. Don't make it this big huge deal, because it's NOT. It's only a big deal in our mind but in actuality it's like the little guy behind the curtain in "The Wizard of Oz" with a microphone. Pull the curtain back and see it for what it is. It's just you...scared. Our thoughts really do create our reality. Give up the fight with the TMS. There is nothing to fear or fight anymore."