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Yes, you make sense and your symptoms make sense! What I can tell you is that even though my day to day is quite unpredictable and often challenging, my internal response to these stressors has changed. I'm no longer internally distressed the way I once was, and I am out of chronic pain. What had once seemed impossible, is now doable. I personally didn't journal, except for a long "F You" letter to my ex, but I did have a lot of therapy where I verbally ventilated and gave myself permission to express and feel those unacceptable and ugly emotions. This set me free from my own self criticism of the feelings. I had to do a lot of emotional work and I had to make practical changes, as well as improving my relationship with myself and getting rid of the inner critic/bully. I understand myself now so I can be my own coach/therapist. I still live in hyper vigilance a great deal of the time but I feel safe within myself and my own body. I'm more at peace with the aspects of life I can't control, I go with the flow a lot more, and I ask for help or set boundaries (mostly internal boundaries). The schools and doctors tend to create another layer of stress onto parents so I just do my best....they are not living my life and can't grasp the daily complexities and minutia, so I no longer feel the need to please the "experts". I don't set the bar so high for myself or others, and that has reduced a lot of tension and pressure as well. In a word, acceptance. I can assure you, you will get better! You're on the right path now!