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Hopefully I can clarify. In terms of secondary gain, we can become attached to symptoms like a companion, a "frenemy" or a bad marriage, where it becomes so familiar that it feels "safe". It's also a great way of opting out of situations without having to cause disappointment or feel blamed for refusing. Tms 'ers are typically conflict avoidant and not great with setting boundaries. In terms of my comment in the interview...tms is the unrecognized defense in psychology. Symptoms "defend" us from the things we don't want to see about ourselves and from intolerable emotions, but they also "defend" loved ones and others, in the sense that it ensures that we don't aggress towards them or shirk our responsibilities to them. In other words it has a protective function for both ourselves and others. If you look at other defenses (there are dozens), they tend to negatively impact others. Since Tms'ers are goodists, they choose the most highly evolved defense that will do the least damage to anyone else. The repression (anger etc. turned inward ) manifests in physical pain or symptoms. This is also the most socially acceptable defense. In my case, I had homicidal thoughts and impulses towards my own son. This was so profoundly unacceptable to my psyche and sense of self, that they became repressed and left to fester in my unconscious. When I learned that these feelings and impulses were actually not lethal, and no indicator of my virtue or sanity, I could finally tolerate them (affect tolerance) and stop being self critical for having them. My emotions did not equate with absence of love for my son, which was my underlying terror. By freeing myself from the self judgment I had about my own emotions, I resolved the inner conflict, the guilt dissolved, and the anger was felt and detoxified, and thus, the tms defense strategy disabled. I had freed my body from the mind's purpose.