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I was able to rid myself of pain two years ago using simple TMS practices. Living in the present and repeating to my subconscious it is mental and not physical. What I was unable to do was figure out what the true reason for my hypochndria/OCD/TMS really is. I think that is why it has come back.

At the root of it, I simply have a fear of being paralyzed in some fashion. Multiple Sclerosis was a fear of mine after I had felt some pain and looked for help from Dr. Google. My mind was able to make me feel so many of the same symptoms I had read about.

That fear was a fear of living a life unable to do the things I loved with my son like hike, camp, fish etc..

It seems like my TMS picks conditions it knows I am most scared of. One thing it always has in common though is my fear of not being able to live my life carefree.

What am I suppressing...is there a correlation to this fear of paralyzation? I searched for awhile to see if my mothers abandoning me at a child and her selfish ways might be a reason for the pain but I just don't really care anymore about what she did.

I have hit on something recently that I am exploring with little luck. When I go through my pain and symptom checking OCD periods I want to talk to my wife, dad, anyone who will listen. I yearn for their telling me I am ok, it will go away which only lasts me a short time. When they ignore me I get mad internally and feel like no one wants to help me, no one cares at all and I lash out.