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Plum gave you're one of the greatest examples of soothing that I have read. I had these same thoughts about wondering what self soothing was. In my therapy with Daniel Lyman at the Pain Psychology Center I learned how to do this and my pain went away. I had never thought one kind thought about myself and learned how to change my self talk to being kind to myself. I would constantly think of one of the kindest people I know which was my mom saying to me that it is ok that everything was ok. I would just say this over and over and put my name in there. I would say in my head it is ok Donnie everything is ok and there is nothing to fear and try to hear it in my mothers voice. You can think of a kind person who is that way yourself. And I would also say it out loud.
And you have to learn to laugh at your brain. I had such bad leg and butt pain I could not walk up the stairs. And you will learn what a conditioned response is and how to say to your brain that you know what is going on. I would just tell myself there is nothing wrong with me and it is my brain causing all this. And as I did my pain went away. Re wiring the brain. And the brain will fight back and pain may get worse for a bit but you will learn to laugh at your pain. Now and then I get twinges but look at what is going on psychologically and feel my emotions. And it goes away. I run and walk 5 miles a day now and no pain. And play golf all the time. Do not give up. Alan will give you some great stuff and realize it is not hocus pocus but is backed up by neurobiology. Hang in there and you will get better.