Boston Redsox

Well it all started I guess when I caught my wife by accident having 1 of here many affairs. After I confronted here with this I started having terrible stomach pain that last over 6 months without no known cause. So after a treatment of stomach acids rest and diet still pain got worse. Went to hospital they gave me a endoscope and colonoscapy. While waiting on for these test results I started getting numbness and pain in my face hands and feet. Once the test can back negative the stomach pain was gone and the nerve pain began more test more doctors and still nothing. Shortly after found out that my dad had terminal cancer and my son was very ill.
Fastforward my wife still having affairs in was to side track with taking of my son and father as I continue to be heavley medicated and fighting threw everyday not taking care or worring about myself or my marriage. More pain more doctors. Fast forward my father passes....my son recovered and infidelity continues not caring about what she was doing I found tms and started my journey. First time I started I read read and read did the work books the SEP. And nothing changed pain got worse and worse. So I dumped tms for a couple of years still thinking physical. Back on meds for a couple of more years. Wife I guess stopped having affairs which I fooled myself in not caring about wether she did or not. More test more meds and still no help. Woke up one morning, and said I am ready to take care of myself so that was last Sept I am off all my meds , at the gym,yoga,or running everyday confronted my wife for a divorce or get help she chose divorce . its at a stand still because I told her I will not give her a dime in alimony ,she can have half of everything but not the second half of my life. Stop watching the calendar took a break from journaling ...( I only journal when something is troubling me). Think psychological love the phrase or the example from Dr Sopher . I stopped filling my river of rage with more rage. I forgive and most importantly I have quieted my mind at least 40% less chatter shooting for 100 someday.
This was the cliff note version.
10 Yrs have past from the beginning on this journey and sad to say I am still trying to get to the end of this tms maze..Did some TMS therapy was really no help ...I also feel a couple of session are enough, see a Dr Shrink if there is really dark issues this is my opinion . TMS therapy is ver repetive nothing you can't learn from watching some podcast , they do help you with not falling back in the rabbit hole fear. Anyway still had it not giving up.