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johnnyblotter
Last Activity:
Sep 4, 2017
Joined:
Jun 16, 2014
Messages:
6
Likes Received:
4
Trophy Points:
11
Gender:
Male
Location:
nyc
Occupation:
web developer

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johnnyblotter

New Member, Male, from nyc

fighting chronic pelvic pain for two years Jan 13, 2017

johnnyblotter was last seen:
Sep 4, 2017
  • My Story

    Struggling to accept a TMS diagnosis. I've been suffering from what could be called levator ani syndrome, chronic non-bacterial prostatitis, etc with only one real symptom...a nasty muscle spasm and buzzy feeling way in the back right of the rectum. It just feels like there's a stuck muscle and no matter what I do (mindfulness, paradoxical meditation, restorative yoga, stretching, internal therapy, long walks, restorative exercise, etc) I can't seem to do much to improve the condition.

    My list of prior injuries is a mile long...I had urethral stricture surgery at ages 13, 15, and 24. Initially as a kid I was peeing blood and it hurt to pee..this went on for years. At age 19 I suffered terrible sciatica, which I resolved at the time but ended up having surgery for at age 36. I had inguinal hernia surgery also at age 36. From ages 29-34 I was hospitalized against my will for bipolar mania every year, for two weeks each time. On top of this I suffered hyperacusis after a broken eardrum that plagued me for two years, but I got out of it using TMS-like therapy. Finally I suffered a paralyzed arm from the elbow down after a fall which resulted in nerve damage..it thankfully got better in 6 months as the nerve healed.

    I suppose the way I should think of it is just like a muscle spasm that can cause so much back pain, and that the body should be able to heal it, but my mind is preventing the tension from releasing due to unresolved anger and allowing fear to be everpresent.

    I've gone so far down the physical therapy route to no avail and I'm very aware that I have a lot of unresolved anger from childhood. I'm steadily working through Unlearn Your Pain and I also just started psychotherapy with a colleague of Alan Gordon's. I'm realizing that I have fear of this problem that I carry around with me everywhere and this was an important realization to make. But I gotta say I'm struggling, really just struggling. My freelance work has really dipped and I've almost just stopped working to try to make progress with my health.
    1. johnnyblotter
      johnnyblotter
      fighting chronic pelvic pain for two years
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  • My Story

    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    nyc
    Occupation:
    web developer
    Introduction:
    Struggling with the TMS diagnosis
    Diagnoses:
    chronic non-bacterial prostatitis
    Struggling to accept a TMS diagnosis. I've been suffering from what could be called levator ani syndrome, chronic non-bacterial prostatitis, etc with only one real symptom...a nasty muscle spasm and buzzy feeling way in the back right of the rectum. It just feels like there's a stuck muscle and no matter what I do (mindfulness, paradoxical meditation, restorative yoga, stretching, internal therapy, long walks, restorative exercise, etc) I can't seem to do much to improve the condition.

    My list of prior injuries is a mile long...I had urethral stricture surgery at ages 13, 15, and 24. Initially as a kid I was peeing blood and it hurt to pee..this went on for years. At age 19 I suffered terrible sciatica, which I resolved at the time but ended up having surgery for at age 36. I had inguinal hernia surgery also at age 36. From ages 29-34 I was hospitalized against my will for bipolar mania every year, for two weeks each time. On top of this I suffered hyperacusis after a broken eardrum that plagued me for two years, but I got out of it using TMS-like therapy. Finally I suffered a paralyzed arm from the elbow down after a fall which resulted in nerve damage..it thankfully got better in 6 months as the nerve healed.

    I suppose the way I should think of it is just like a muscle spasm that can cause so much back pain, and that the body should be able to heal it, but my mind is preventing the tension from releasing due to unresolved anger and allowing fear to be everpresent.

    I've gone so far down the physical therapy route to no avail and I'm very aware that I have a lot of unresolved anger from childhood. I'm steadily working through Unlearn Your Pain and I also just started psychotherapy with a colleague of Alan Gordon's. I'm realizing that I have fear of this problem that I carry around with me everywhere and this was an important realization to make. But I gotta say I'm struggling, really just struggling. My freelance work has really dipped and I've almost just stopped working to try to make progress with my health.