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Recent Content by zclesa

  1. zclesa
    Profile Post

    Trying to live from a place of love, not fear.

    Trying to live from a place of love, not fear.
    Status Update by zclesa, Nov 21, 2022
  2. zclesa
    Post

    I can't stop turning anger on myself and self-punishing

    Thank you @Cactusflower Yes, the self-judgement is the killer, isn't it? I like the way you said about "noticing" and "encouraging". This seems...
    Post by: zclesa, Nov 21, 2022 in forum: Support Subforum
  3. zclesa
    Post

    I can't stop turning anger on myself and self-punishing

    @miffybunny Thank you for your thoughtful response. I have always had huge trust issues with other people (probably why I've only ever found...
    Post by: zclesa, Nov 20, 2022 in forum: Support Subforum
  4. zclesa
    Post

    I can't stop turning anger on myself and self-punishing

    Thanks, @miffybunny I did do about 6 months of IDSTP but it's not affordable for me and I was so resistant. I felt anger toward my mother...
    Post by: zclesa, Nov 20, 2022 in forum: Support Subforum
  5. zclesa
    Thread

    I can't stop turning anger on myself and self-punishing

    I do want to heal, otherwise I wouldn't be here. I've always fought for myself to be a better person. I have beaten so many self-destructive...
    Thread by: zclesa, Nov 19, 2022, 7 replies, in forum: Support Subforum
  6. zclesa
    Post

    whenever I strive to do anything I think I want to do, bad things happen. Is this tied to TMS?

    You'll have to find out how this is happening through therapy. All sorts of things contribute: trapped emotions, faulty/limiting beliefs, poor...
    Post by: zclesa, Jun 14, 2022 in forum: General Discussion Subforum
  7. zclesa
    Post

    whenever I strive to do anything I think I want to do, bad things happen. Is this tied to TMS?

    Yeah, I relate. I also do things the hard way or struggle along on my own when asking for help would be easier. My mother always shamed me when I...
    Post by: zclesa, Jun 12, 2022 in forum: General Discussion Subforum
  8. zclesa
    Post

    whenever I strive to do anything I think I want to do, bad things happen. Is this tied to TMS?

    This is ISDTP: https://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/Intensive_Short_Term_Dynamic_Psychotherapy (Intensive Short Term Dynamic Psychotherapy) Unconscious...
    Post by: zclesa, Jun 12, 2022 in forum: General Discussion Subforum
  9. zclesa
    Post

    whenever I strive to do anything I think I want to do, bad things happen. Is this tied to TMS?

    Hey, I came to this post because I found your post about your Narcissistic mother. I also have one and am working out how far away I need to be...
    Post by: zclesa, Jun 5, 2022 in forum: General Discussion Subforum
  10. zclesa
    Thread

    "Leaving" a toxic situation / person to feel safe again?

    Has anyone found that actually leaving an ongoing stressor improved their symptoms? My mother had a narcissistic meltdown at me and punished...
    Thread by: zclesa, Jun 2, 2022, 0 replies, in forum: Support Subforum
  11. zclesa
    Post

    So Utterly Confused - The Start of my Story

    I believe that one of the reasons my feelings don't naturally "come" to me is that I have invalidated them, pushed them away, or dismissed them....
    Post by: zclesa, May 13, 2022 in forum: Support Subforum
  12. zclesa
    Post

    So Utterly Confused - The Start of my Story

    I started ISTDP therapy and found out why I am hypervigilant. I feel unsafe because of my own projections. In interactions with other people I...
    Post by: zclesa, May 12, 2022 in forum: Support Subforum
  13. zclesa
    Post

    Vicious circle : Safety - anger - boundaries

    @Baseball65 This is what I mean. I need to find my inner anger again. Can I borrow yours? ;) Aha, seriously, I'm really lacking this these days....
    Post by: zclesa, Oct 31, 2021 in forum: Support Subforum