and then of course there is Suicide.

@Cactusflower
Thanks for this! Sorry to hear you’ve got a flare, but look at you go!!! You are living a real life, with stress and everything! I love the idea of sending love out into to world. Being a “beacon of kindness” is a beautiful thing to be. I’m hanging in there.

 

Hey Diana, hang in there <3

Like Cactusflower said, this is just another symptom imperative. My thoughts were so similar when it felt like I wasn’t getting anywhere (not true) and my progress was slow - don’t let these thoughts consume you. I remember giving into them and catastrophizing how I’d never get TMS out of my head and how I’d be in an endless loop of symptom imperative. Things were shifting so quickly from hour to hour, physical pain to mental, and I thought I was losing my mind.

I, just recently accepted a new position on a new project and noticed some anxiety creeping in. Anxious thoughts about how I’m not good enough and that they’ll see me for the fake that I am, I’m stupid, and I’ll lose the job within a month, I’ll lose health insurance.. and won’t have an income.. and and and you get the point. Usually now when my anxiety starts to fester I get burning chest pain and for whatever reason my ankle begins to throb. This is my sign that I need to look inwards and slow down and shift to what’s going on before things blow up. It doesn’t scare me anymore because it’s dumb and it’ll go away. Anyway, I immediately recognized the catastrophizing, a bad habit that was programmed into me since a young age, began my affirmations/afformations and reminders of how I don’t talk to myself like this anymore, this is not who am anymore. Anyway, life is going to life. Whatever, just keep going. Just because you’re not seeing massive changes doesn’t mean things are not shifting in your brain. You will reap the rewards and they will be that much sweeter.

I read something on here someone posted a while ago when I was getting punched by the symptom imperative. If your symptoms are increasing and moving around, this is a very good sign. Tell your brain to bring it on because you can handle it.

Also I want to remind you that you’ve been there (referring to how you’re feeling now) before. Check out your post from July.

IT WILL PASS!!! <3 chin up

 

I love this idea too.

 

@HealingMe
Thanks for the encouragement! I love hearing your story—how the mental hygiene and the challenge is always there, but you’ve changed the way you think! And it worked!

You are every bit as awesome as they think you are. Believe it! You got this. If you can fight TMS, you can do anything.

 

This is such a lovely perspective. I’ve been through hell with my TMS, surely a silly job can’t match that.

 

That’s right! <3