New Program Day 20: Embracing Joy

Reread this post and a few things clicked. I have trouble sleeping. Even though I'm tired, my mind will wake me up to worry about things that aren't perfect (i.e. the way I'd prefer them to be). The perfectionism that is so common amongst TMSers can generate so much of the energy that fuels the pain, like Alan said. Pressure, urgency, and expectations... all self-imposed anguish. And why? Truly, so little of it matters in the long run. I think learning to let go of things needing to be perfect before I can be happy, and then pain free, is key to a better life. Knowing and doing it are two different things, but at least I'm aware of the first part.

 

I like this story. I want to live with a mind where i can hug both wolves and both live and work together. Sometimes fear, anger, frustration, 'bad' emotions are good no? I need some anger to defend myself, frustration when things dont go well. I want to learn to feel and use all without getting to a level of feeling overwhelming panic/anxiety.