Day 32 [RSI]

For today's journal activity, write about some of the specific problems in your everyday life that may be preventing you from recovering. After that write down some ideas about how to stop letting this aspect create more stress and anxiety in your life, thus causing more symptoms!

So what is stopping me right now is the demands of grad school. Writing all the time, my hands starting to hurt (though when I started this program again a couple days ago, my hands were better the next day and have hovered around that level). I tried to play videogames just now but felt a bit of sharp pain and didn't want to push it. It's crazy because I have been playing videogames and using a computer a lot since I had mostly recovered my TMS. But grad school is sorta getting my life back on track to me, so of course TMS wants to come back and ruin it. I knew this.

Today I spent a huuuuuge amount of time grading the quiz my class just took. I was so pissed off because it probably took literally 5 hours. By the end I was so exhausted and annoyed, I started being kind of loud and obnoxious about it being kind of dramatic to the grad students around me. But near the end I just started grading so fast because I was so done with it, and now that I think back I was so hyper-focused and determined to finish that I forgot about the pain in my finger and thumb.

Another thing that shows that this is TMS is my right finger and thumb hurt from writing, however my left thumb has started feeling that hot TMS pain, which doesn't make any sense as I've probably been using it less than usual since I've been on one-handed paper instead of a computer.

I think I need to keep writing and keep journaling. My hands will get better this way if I treat the pain as the in my headness that it is. That's how I got over it before when I used a computer.