Day 39 Day 39

Describe the best day, event, experience you have had since starting this program. What about this experience did you find so meaningful?
Well I am not sure I would describe this as my best day as I was in pain. But it served up a great example of how TMS works for me. I was scheduled to do a massage on a friend of mine. I used to be a full time massage therapist but now only do it sporadically for friends and when I need to make some extra cash. Well as I was driving to her house, I could feel the TMS acting up. It continued and started roaring during the massage to the point I was in a lot of distracting pain. I completed the massage because I did not want to give the TMS the power to change this.
When I got home, I knew I had to go for a walk, something to increase the oxygen in my back. On the walk, I was distressed about the pain and just kept repeating -think psychological, not physical. I kept trying to peel the onion of emotions I was feeling (or NOT feeling) I hit upon a core nugget. I was repressing a feeling of "being a loser." At this point in time, I am not producing much income from work and I was angry at myself that I "had" to do a massage to make some cash. This touched that very old self-esteem wound.
What is remarkable about this is when I allowed the feeling to surface, acknowledge and NOT deny, judge or resist it's existence... just let it come up and BE. Oh my gosh! What a wonderful feeling!!!! It was like I was able to calm a scared little girl with just letting her have those ding dang feelings and poof - I mean POOF - it dissipated. It dissolved. Just like that. The whole thing was very powerful. Very sweet. And it was simple to do. I am happy to say that I'm feeling much better today.

 

Thank you for sharing this in such detail. Often I am afraid to let powerful feelings come up; it seems like I will be consumed by them. I must remember to let them come up and that they will move on.

 

nowtimecoach- that is a great story of fighting back against TMS and winning. thank you for sharing. and nice work!