New Program Day 6: The Fear Matrix

Wow! The idea of all the different types of fear and fearful thoughts being one in the same and serving the same purpose is a serious "aha" moment for me. It's so freeing to understand the mechanisms that create this fear/pain situation. Now, to get out of the fear loop.

 

For those speaking of pelvic pain, or I suppose anything else, I have genital numbness as opposed to pain, nerve pain, itching, sitting pain etc.
I believe this very well could be TMS.

I haven’t seen a whole lot of mentioning of numbness when it comes to TMS, and I imagine part of the reason would be because where would you feel or care about numbness other than in that region, as opposed to getting pain anywhere.

Feeling pain anywhere can trigger that negative feedback loop, whereas numbness just about anywhere else wouldn’t really cause much concern.

If anyone has any knowledge of TMS with this or other sexual issues, please comment.

I also have a tougher time with concentration and focus, along with energy.

 

So we are actually living a "I am not safe epidemy". Wow. I can definitely use the video and visualize myself confronting the fears. I am the one!

 

How do you convince your brain that it is safe?

 

I need help with loosing the fear. Some days I do better than others. One of my tms symptoms is that it has affected my balance alot so I am always in fear of falling. I now use a cane just to walk. Any suggestions you can offer would be greatly appreciated. I feel like I do not own my life anymore.

 

Hi Kim, We are very lucky we still have legs and hand. It is not your body that is weak, it is your thinking. Please note that I didn't say your mind is weak. Your mind is very 'adaptable'. By habit and ignorant right now it just produce weak and fearful thoughts. The bad thing is your body agreed with your thoughts and start to produce the corresponding sensation. We keep putting trash in our mind and we got trashy result in our body.
Got to quit doing that. You have to start putting strong, confidence, and beautiful thoughts in your mind. You have to believe. And the most important thing is to practice and practice and practice being strong and believe you are strong. It will not happen over night. The winner is the one who persist, persevere, and stay on course.
Never give up.

 

Me too! Living with constant fear. How are you doing?

 

Thank you for posting this...it is a great encouragement to me this morning.

 

I have a question about tinnitus.....are there some forms that are not TMS related? Mine came on suddenly one night and has been going on for about 6 or 7 years, nonstop. At the time I was not exposed to any loud noises, so I've often wondered what in the world caused it. Apparently, there is nothing the medical community can "see" in the ear to verify tinnitus...I guess they just go by the symptoms. I was given a supplement which was supposed to help, but it didn't. Fortunately, the tinnitus doesn't bother me.

 

Ohmygosh...I am in pretty much the same place. I am a 65-year-old female with intermittent pelvic burning and constant burning and tingling in my feet/legs and hands. This all started after 4 months of dealing with horrendous UTI-type symptoms, antibiotics, 2 weeks of hives and a lot of anxiety and fear. I've been through countless tests (all negative) and even pelvic floor physical therapy (which actually did help resolve some of the tight pelvic muscles/spasms I had, although they still pop up now and then). The pelvic burning seems to be worse after I've been sitting in a chair sewing. The feet burning is the worst when I am sitting and my hands feel the worst when they are on the steering wheel. The tingling and burning happens whether I am standing, sitting, or lying down. It is constant and very disturbing to me as I have never had anything like this before. The common denominator seems to be pressure. So I pretty much think that it is all probably hypersensitivity to nerve pain, but I am not 100% sure. I sometime wonder if this is age related or hormone related. Or is it a blood-flow issue. Fear is definitely not helping but I hope that I am conquering that fear. Baby steps, though. I VERY MUCH appreciate this program and the support forum.

 

wow, kk, i could have written your post and am wondering the same thing. my body is still living the trauma of first marriage. it interferes with my happiness in my current marriage which is wonderful. i do agree with some of the other posts that it is not helpful, IMO, to go back to uncover all the baggage of the past. too much time and it goes back as far as i can remember. i am 63, had had interstitial cystitis for 30 years and a whole bunch of other body stuff. i am tired of it and want to move on. i know this program is for me. i hope as we get further (i am starting in 12/2017) into this program that there will be some good simple suggestions for training our brains.

 

Great stuff! I have suffered from a million different fears all of my life about anything, take your pick, you name it, and if I don't have it, my mind will go and get it for you. Be right back. Riffing on this stuff makes me realize that it is really only a ruse of my mind. So much of a ruse that it makes me optimistic about getting rid of a lot it because it is just that . . . a ruse and nothing more. Ain't no survival in this stuff. So I will gladly keep the survival instincts but definitely am looking at getting rid of this useless information being used to fire my imagination, 'cause I can't get no, oh no no no, hey hey hey, that's what I say, I can't get no satisfaction . . .

 

I’ve been thinking a lot about this post (I’m on Day 7, but I wanted to come back to this) and am wondering if my symptoms are a result of repressing fear itself? Is fear an emotion, and can it get trapped in the body? Can you simply just fear fear?

I’ve had back pain since my daughter was born 11 years ago. I’m pretty sure it was the birth itself that triggered it. (I’ve also spent quite a few years stuck in psycho-archeology where I’ve come to realize that I’m a highly sensitive person due to emotional neglect at a young age – a mother who is a narcissist and a father who can be quite selfish.) I had a difficult pregnancy with hyperemesis gravidarum and then a difficult labor (so, probably some post-traumatic stress that I never recognized – I never had the classic signs of post-partum depression). I remember being given my baby to hold for the first time, and I think I froze in fear. I was scared (knowingly aware of that), but I remember thinking, “Aren’t I supposed to feel something else?” Like how you see women in movies, crying, laughing, etc. I was pretty much like, “Huh. A baby.” I love her more than anything in the world, but there was definitely some switch in my brain that was triggered at that moment. Ever since, I’ve had back pain, neck pain, foot pain, hand/wrist pain and hip pain.

Last night, we had a birthday party for my daughter with lots of her friends. We invited some new friends who ended up to be some pretty badly behaved party-guests (which annoyed my daughter, and I could tell she was let down), and the whole evening was quite stressful. After everyone left and we were cleaning up, I dropped a heavy glass cooler while trying to wash it and got a fairly serious cut on my arm close to my veins. I yelled out, “Oh, shit!” and my husband and daughter came running. He wanted to take me to the ER, but then we decided to go next door to see our neighbor who is a nurse and have her help us determine if I should go get stitches. I felt pretty calm through it since I thought, “It’s a cut. It will heal on its own.” Fortunately, our neighbor said that I probably didn’t need to get stitches, but it might leave a scar. Later, when we got home, my husband said it was kind of eerie that I was fearful at first (could see it in my eyes and hear it in my voice) and then a few seconds afterwards totally calm. He said it reminded him of when our daughter was born.

Later that night, I had trouble going to sleep since I felt revved up. I ended up shaking, getting cold and feeling anxiety. I eventually got a few hours of sleep, but woke up still shaky. After a good breakfast and a warm shower, I felt a bit more at ease, but then my back pain level really amped up. I’m seeing this as a great confirmation that this is TMS.

I guess I’m confused since my “usual” everyday TMS is back pain and/or neck pain. If I get that pain because I’m avoiding the fear of sensing an emotion in my body (?), then what can I make of these 2 events (the birth and the birthday party) that had a similar emotional outcome for me? Does anyone think that I was just repressing fear? Is asking this just another fear/pressure/criticism thought? Or can I use these techniques to feel fear that has been trapped in my body?

 

Wait, the ONLY thing the brain want is preoccupation?
Mine wants a feeling of safety and home.
Why preoccupation? Help me understand.

 

Well said. You clearly did work around your traumas... and it seems that you are likely to the core, the body, the fear...and dissociation ...or checking out ...from fear.
Our unconscious wants to protect us by avoiding fear and other awfully difficult emotions and so it gives us pain. And it works. Once we are awaken to this, the fear can feel overwhelming at times. So, yes, fear of fear is exactly right. I call it anxiety. Fear of the unknown fear.
It’s terrifying at times and yet, being out of physical pain almost all the time is a wonderful thing.
The techniques delineated here are a great roadmap.
For me, I go and get my scared little self each morning in meditation and being her up to present day, safe and sound and sane. And pain free!

 

Thanks for the response, Bodhigirl! Since returning to my own TMS work after a year away (was chasing physical causes again), I’ve started to truly give a good effort at making meditation a daily habit. And not in a TMS-ey, pressured effort. Just making sure it becomes as normal of a part of my daily routine as brushing my teeth, and I’m also more mindful of things throughout the day (like washing my hands – not slowing down exactly, but just sensing the temperature of the water, the feel of the soap, the sound from the tap, etc.). I feel really hopeful after reading what you wrote with your morning meditation.

I keep mulling over the saying, “Nothing to fear but fear itself.” I guess it really boils down to that? If we fear the sensation of fear, then there is pain.

But I’ve also been wondering, after reading Dr. Sarno for so long and not really getting it, there’s a problem (for me) with trying to name an emotion when I’m feeling it. So much of what I read years ago was about figuring out what you're feeling in the moment (not necessarily the repressed feeling since we hide it from ourselves). I think I’ve always been pretty good at explaining how I feel – just not sensing it in the body. I’m hopeful that building up my meditation muscles will help me observe this better. Not to understand "why" I fear something, but to simply experience the fear and then watch it go by.

 

wow someone is playing the smart one here or picking a fight... not sure which one.
My understanding is that TMS pain is basically a barometer how the primitive brain feels safe, when it feels threatened or endangered it produces tms symptoms (signals) in form of pain, anxiety, fatigue, etc. When you buy into those, tms works - so yea, no preoccupation - no pain.
Now that does not mean one should not address the other emotional aspects and the symptoms would still pop when the emotions/ stresses will be neglected.