New Program Day 9: Somatic Tracking

Actually, I do feel it when I'm sitting. I just noticed.

 

Just to add: I LOVE walking, and yet keep wondering/ worrying that I'm like that star baseball player that keeps doing something when I should stop. But my favorite times of the day are when I'm in the woods, walking my pup. And then sometimes I start running, trying to be careful, but wanting to run run run. I don't know if I'm helping or hurting myself?

 

I find my best meditations or chanting is when out in nature - like biking or sailing. I had serious tendon tears in left ankle and have healed that as much as possible. Now dealing with neuropathy in both feet. I had TMS in back for years so I think it has shifted to a new location. Anyway I am not giving in to fear this time and believe me I was very much afraid to work out with a non-working left ankle. I spent months in physical therapy but really had no idea where to start on the emotional pain. That is why I am here on this site. I read the Sarno books many times. I am now trying to figure out how to go deeper into the emotional pain, to be with it, to use it. I have resumed most of my workouts and am fairly pain free. It's mainly at night trying to get a decent sleep that the pain and demons are out. To your post - do see an orthopedist or podiatrist before running - there are many possible structural issues that could be going on.

 

Hi, I am a newbie to this forum. Why is it not updated? Is it closed? Mine goes only to Dec 28, 2021 on page 7.
It is still helpful to read about others.

 

I think everyone has moved over to https://www.prtrecovery.org/ (All Topics). Or the Facebook group for Tell Me About your Pain. People still post here. Sometimes.

 

@Bodhigirl - Many thanks. I will check it out.

 

What I find difficult about this is noticing the pain without fear. I’m one of the TMS people who thinks about the pain and so, then I get the pain. I’m trying not to think about the pain. So when I pay attention to it and say I have no fear, I feel like I’m lying to myself. I DO have fear. It actually worked the first time I tried it. It was great. But now I feel like I’m just saying it without believing it. How do I get around this?

 

I just keep naming it. Yep anxiety. Yep terror. Yep drama. Is there a other feeling?
For me: grief. Rage. Deep sadness. avoiding grief. Avoiding anger. It’s oh so unattractive!
Alan taught me: pain in a great opportunity to rewire to safety in the present moment.
My pain says Yeah, but what about tomorrow? What about Puerto Rico? What about Ukraine? Just acknowledging that we feel the pain of the world and our physical pain is a poor substitute for deep feelings…
Hope that’s helpful!

 

When pain comes, I acknowledge it without any judgement or asking "why", and I say: "You're only TMS; therefore, you're unnecessary, and unneeded. Brain, you can now stop sending false alarm signals. And I now reset you to "Mellow Yellow". I am safe and I am healthy."

This is my little mantra whenever pain comes. Mellow Yellow is the key phrase I use, which means I'm resetting the brain back to normal. You can use any word or phrase you like, but be sure you are clear as to what the phrase means to you and your brain. Going through this helps me a lot. I do this every night just before I go to sleep, irrespective of whether I am in pain or not. And because "Mellow Yellow" means "reset" to my brain, I also use "Mellow Yellow" alone, rather than the whole sentence, in times when the pain is overwhelming me and I feel fear and other negative emotions. So all I say is "Mellow Yellow" and I then go on to do whatever it is I was doing at the time. Most times I flick over the pain spots with my hand, as if I'm sweeping an insect off me. So I always flick outwards (away from my body) as if I'm removing the insect, and then I say, "Mellow Yellow."

This may seem silly, but it has worked for me many, many times. I hope this helps