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Desperately seeking clarity & insight on my potential TMS...does this sound like it?

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by dh627, Nov 15, 2021.

  1. dh627

    dh627 Newcomer

    Hey all!

    I have recently come across TMS, but haven't read a lot about it yet, but I am amazed to have found such a syndrome and such a vibrant community.

    I am not entirely sure if my symptoms are TMS, but it feels like the closest explanation I have had for my symptoms so far.

    To cut a long story short, I was in an incredibly traumatising and stressful relationship/engagement which had to turn long distance when my visa for my ex's country ran out, and we were long distance for 1.5 years. This was really stressful and traumatising, and gradually broke down, which was incredibly difficult when living in different continents and timezones. I believe that she cheated on me (but I can't quite prove it, and the not knowing what happened is something that particularly played on my mind and brought me down) and was with another person before breaking up with me. Once that happened, we blocked each other out of our lives so I guess I have been grieving the loss of someone close to me from my life.

    Sometime during the long distance, I began to feel a lot of tightness and tension in my chest - kind of right down the middle of it and on my right pec. Fast forward 3 years, and I still have it, and it is constant, and it is with me pretty much 24/7. Sometimes it's not as noticeable, but it is always there and is sometimes worse/more prominent than at other times.

    Secondly, during the long distance relationship, I got a kidney stone which i had for 2 months, and it was incredibly painful. The pain would come and go, often without warning, and I could go from feeling okay to 10/10 pain within minutes. My body seemed to slip into a state of hyper vigilance, as though my body was sort of listening out for any signs of incoming pain in the area that my kidney stone was/travelled through. There were so many stressful elements to having my kidney stone, and it was an incredibly traumatic experience.

    When my stone went, I still had a tightness/tension in my left hand side - it's quite difficult to pinpoint where exactly it is, as the tension covers what feels like an inch or two+ of space - it is kind of level with my belly button, and to the left, more towards the edge of my torso. Three years later, and I still have this tension here. This period was also by far one of the worst and most stressful parts of my relationship, and I spent lots of my time bedridden and ruminating on it.

    Fast forward to today, and my symptoms are constantly tense and tight and there's a sort of heavy feeling to them, and they seem to flare up quite easily when slightly stressful things happen, things that would never effect me physically before.

    Unfortunately it is totally ruining my life. My symptoms are always at the forefront of my mind and I am always worrying about them - it ruins my ability to sit (so honestly, anything, from watching a movie to trying to do work at a desk I have huge trouble with), travel, speaking to people, having difficult conversations with people, and so much more.

    Nothing that I have tried so far has really helped, I have been to the doctors several times about it, and they haven't found anything wrong, and have suggested that it may be health anxiety. I have tried meditating, but I end up fixating on the tensions on my body and then that gets me worrying about them again, which makes it worse. One thing that has helped slightly is going to a float tank, but this is only a little bit of a relief to my symptoms, and only lasts a day - however, it has helped me realise that my symptoms may just be psychological, and I think that my fixation on my symptoms absolutely makes it worse, but I feel like I am stuck in a circle and cannot seem to break out of it.

    Does anyone think that this sounds like TMS? I do think so, but from what I've read so far, I haven't really seen any mention of chest issues, or issues in the side like I have and it seems more geared toward back issues. Sometimes it feels like my symptoms move about a bit, especially my chest ones. I am at a point where I am absolutely desperate to reduce my symptoms and be able to continue the life I was living a couple of years ago, before all of this.

    I am feeling a little overwhelmed by the amount of information out there about TMS, so I was wondering if anyone had any recommendations? I am looking to do Alan's 30 day recovery, and I also have the pathways & curable app - though I haven't got a paid membership yet.

    Thank you so much for reading.
     
    Last edited: Nov 15, 2021
  2. Cactusflower

    Cactusflower Peer Supporter

    Honestly, the best thing to do is read more about TMS so that YOU decide if you have it or not. Your choice to believe you have tms is a crucial step into healing, and the knowledge of what it is, is important to you making the decision for yourself. Reading the info in the link below and grabbing a book by Dr. John Sarno will give you greater understanding of TMS - https://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/An_Introduction_to_TMS (An Introduction to Tension Myositis Syndrome (TMS))
    It can be overwhelming - but simple steps are the best way to start. Sarno books give knowledge and understanding, the program here can help you start your self discovery for what you need to do to heal. Just take it slowly and have compassion for your suffering One day at a time.
     
    Ellen and Baseball65 like this.
  3. Baseball65

    Baseball65 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Yes. a couple of years before my back pain brought me to my knees I went to the hospital with incredible chest pains. There was nothing wrong with me (heart, illness,etc) and the emergency room Dr. accused me of being on drugs and paranoid. (which I wasn't).

    With TMS whatever symptom finally can hold our attention and protect us from the rage and bad feelings is usually the one that becomes our obsession.
     
    backhand likes this.

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