1. Alan has completed the new Pain Recovery Program. To read or share it, use this updated link: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/painrecovery/
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Discussion in 'Success Stories Subforum' started by SophieM, May 16, 2016.

  1. SophieM

    SophieM New Member

    I cannot believe I am writing in the success stories section of this forum. I never thought I was going to get better and I have. When I was using the program I read this subforum diligently, hoping I would find something that would keep me going or that would give me more ideas on how to recover. Now I am able to write on here myself.... Thank heavens for the TMS Wiki and for Dr Sarno. I would not be where I am now without either.

    In July 2016 I woke up with a swollen left foot and mild pain. It was just the front of the foot and the big toe. I assumed I had done something while dancing the night before, iced it, let it rest and after a few days it recovered. I went out in the same sandals a week later and as I was walking I heard and felt a pop and my foot swelled up again, leaving me in a lot of pain and unable to walk. This went on and off, on and off - getting worse getting better. Until finally it got so bad that I could not walk on my left foot at all. I was finishing my PhD at the time and didnt have time to think about it, so did all my work with my foot up, house bound. The plan was to go travelling as soon as the PhD was done. However, my foot pain went from bad to worse after completing my studies. I went to see multiple doctors, who suggested... sesamoiditis, fractured sesamoids, turf toe, arthritis, all sorts. But nothing could be confirmed on tests such as MRI. Then it was suggested I had CRPS... but the pain doctor disagreed. Over the space of four months I saw every kind of doctor there was on offer and no one could tell me what was going on. Then the other foot started to hurt. This was meant to be the time of my life. I had finished studying and instead of travelling I was stuck in two moon boots and was only managing to get around on a mobility scooter. I had gone from being very active to unable to carry out normal tasks without someone else's support. My mood was getting lower and lower, I wasnt able to sleep because of the pain and the worry. It was looking like this was never going to go away, the doctors couldnt figure it out and every time it appeared to get a bit better it would suddenly get significantly worse. I spent a lot of time in tears. I just couldnt stop myself from crying. Then... i got pain in my legs, this was too much.

    Then, I found the Mind Body prescription. I kept seeing in online, in pain forums. I was at my lowest ebb and by that stage willing to try anything. The amazon reviews were spectacular! And when reading them, something incredible happened... my leg pain eased, just from the reviews! So I ordered the book, never imagining it would be that useful, the claims it made seemed too good to be true. When it arrived I read it from cover to cover in a couple of days. I was disbelieving but, as other people have said, I could see myself on every page of the book. After a couple of reads I could tell there was a slight change in the pain, however it did not suddenly disappear. Then I discovered this forum. I followed the structured programme and by the end of the month I was up and about... it still hurt to walk (a lot!) but I did it any way. I built up the walking slowly and persevered. The relapse sections on the forum helped the most as there were days when the pain was suddenly terrible again - I cannot thank the people who post on this forum enough for their support.

    In January 2016, 6 weeks after first reading the book, I booked a flight to Vietnam, I knew it was very quick but I wanted to get away and I wanted to be independant again, to feel truly free. As soon as I booked the flights the pain came back with a vengeance. This only proved to me that the pain was linked to my emotions, my fears and anger. I was really scared that I had made a foolish mistake, that I wasnt really better and I was going to have to fly back as soon as I got there as I couldnt cope. However, this was not the case. I journalled every day and wrote on this forum when things got a bit too much either emotionally or painfully. I did a guided meditation at least once a day, and then found an amazing guided meditation on Spotify about releasing anger linked to child hood experiences. Then suddenly the pain was gone. Completely. GONE! I could not believe it. I was able to walk, jump, hop, skip, dance, swim - whatever I wanted! I ended up travelling for three months on my own! i just got back home and I cannot believe it. I am ecstatic. I never thought I would get here as I had so many set backs and did not have the sudden book cure I kept reading about, but IT HAPPENED!

    Had I not experienced this I would never have believed that the TMS ideas were possible. I would never believe that so much pain could be created to distract from unconscious rage and other emotions. This process has shown me how much anger I have been carrying around. I really had no idea i harboured such rage, or what a goodist and perfectionist I have been. It has been a relief to start to challenge and accept these aspects of myself. The biggest struggle I have had, and continue to have is linked to the acceptance part. It is in my nature to beat myself up for not being perfect. I am working hard every day to try to be kinder to myself, and I think that for now it is working.

    I am so utterly grateful to Dr Sarno and the wonderful people who put this site together, and the people who contribute daily. I would not have got here without you. So, thank you to you all. xxxx
  2. Gigi

    Gigi Well known member

    I'm delighted for you, Sophie!
    I'm especially impressed with the way you were able to release your anger and banish the pain.
    Here's to a lifetime of travel and good health!tiphata
    mike2014 likes this.
  3. SophieM

    SophieM New Member

    Thank you Gigi!

    I could not be happier as you can probably tell from my thread above. I "woohoo" a lot!

    I hope that more people experiencing TMS can find this website and community, and find the kinds of benefits I have found. Good luck to everyone who is working through the programme, stay strong, I really believe you will all get to your desired outcome in the end.
  4. KatieDid123

    KatieDid123 Peer Supporter

    Awesome Sophie! This is so great to hear and I can feel your joy. I love the TMS healing stories involving feet because that's what I'm working through. If you don't mind sharing, what's the name of the guided meditation on Spotify that you used?
  5. SophieM

    SophieM New Member

    Hi Katie.... I felt exactly the same when I first found this website... every time I saw a thread that was foot related I would read it inside out in case there was something that could help me. I used lots of different guided meditations but the one that I used for releasing anger on Spotify is by Brad Austen on 'The ultimate guided mediation collection, Vol. 3' and the track is called releasing anger. I had a lot of rage left over from child hood and so this suited me perfectly. If you cant find it let me know and I could maybe share it with you on Spotify. I hope your foot pain goes away really quickly :)
    KatieDid123 likes this.
  6. KatieDid123

    KatieDid123 Peer Supporter

    I found it, thanks! I'm definitely going to check it out. Thanks for the well wishes. I hope you enjoy your pain-free life to the absolute fullest! :)
    SophieM likes this.
  7. Ines

    Ines Well known member

    Thank you for your story. One of my goals is to travel extensively. My mom just moved to another country and I would love to visit her but every time I think about it I get really depressed and scared. I just know that one day I will go though. Somehow I will get there. I just have to push through and figure all this TMS stuff out. I hope you have many more fun trips : )
    SophieM likes this.
  8. SophieM

    SophieM New Member

    I really hope you get to go Ines, I really didnt think I would ever go again which made the trip even more sweet. I hope you get to that stage soon :)
    Ines likes this.
  9. mncjl123

    mncjl123 Peer Supporter

    A big thanks for your testimony.
    SophieM likes this.

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