Heartbeat obsession and my story

I'm trying to figure out if you are joking or not?

 

I was able to (god knows how) speak at conferences including giving a keynote address. Go figure.
So true about work keeping your mind out of the constant worry. I am moving toward retirement and I am going to have way too much worry time on my hands.

 

lol really??

 

I mean, I hope you are joking. Assume you are joking. But it's equally possible that you don't really understand TMS?

 

I like to think I have quite a good grasp on tms theory.

Yes, I know it’s possible to have tms whilst being able to stand in a grocery store line

 

I’ve always hated grocery stores. My parents tell me i ran pale when i went shopping in those bloody malls. I actually worked in a grocery store for a bit because i wanted money and my parents always told me i was pale after work. Got heart palpitations during work and still didnt get the memo. Tells you about the kind of person i was. Just clueless about myself and my own body.

I’m really convinced about the tms diagnosis but i havent been that succesful in tackling it yet. Its really hard

 

Oh yeah i had a ‘burn-out’ at like 15 yo and only then i stopped working in that store. Also vouldnt carry on with school.

I could be the poster boy for tms having pretty much had issues since i came out me mom.

 

FIVE Ibuprofen's, Jan?!?!?!
I like grocery stories! Clothing stores are the worst. Surely must be related to my mother taking me clothes shopping at Marshall's, in the early morning time of day since she was a morning person and I am not, driving in her stale smelling car, with the AM radio crackling and the whole thing getting me car sick before we even got there. Trying to find clothes that fit. And not be too out of style compared to the kids who got their clothes at Casual Corner. God I hated all of that.

 

I loved working at the grocery store as a kid. I started off as a bagger and then worked in the meat room wrapping meat. Loved it.
Oddly, I've loved ALL my jobs from the shittiest to the best.

 

Oh my! That sounds awful.
I used to always joke that "Advil is god's gift to women" (for monthly pain).

 

Thanks for those recommendations. I think this is the kind of thing I need. I need some broken down step-by-step process that I can follow. In some ways, the variety of ways people deal with TMS is both encouraging and confusing. I’m trying to find what works for me.

I keep hearing people talk about dealing with repressed emotions or anger. I am aware of some anger in my life, but I’m not sure what to do with that. Am I just supposed to journal about it or just have some cathartic moment where I yell all the things I really wanna say in real life? Plus, when I am angry about something that happened in my distant past, it’s easier to move beyond it, because the situation or person is out of my life. What about for those situations that are present and ongoing and will likely not go away?

then, of course there’s meditation which comes up quite often. I probably need to find some useful description of how to do it. A few times I’ve tried it, I have not found helpful. As someone who does not like the stillness because all I hear is my heartbeat, meditation is not appealing. I admit, I have not given it a fair shake.

oh that’s it, I will check out the program on this site in those success stories.

 

that statement alone was worth the price of admission! Thank you! Thanks also for the reminder that my story fits with so many TMS stories, and your encouragement at the end. Those kinds of things mean so much

 

This is the same thing that people with OCD say regarding meditating, “my thoughts go crazy, I can’t stop thinking, I’m doing it wrong etc.” really, it’s not your heartbeat it’s thoughts regarding your heartbeat that are keeping you stuck in a loop. Meditation is the perfect way to detach from thoughts and obsessions related to the body. If we could all sit in silence for 30 minutes with zero thoughts then we wouldn’t have to meditate. It’s a skill like everything else. If you sit for 10 minutes and 9 minutes and 50 seconds is you obsessing about your heartbeat and the last 10 seconds is returning to your breath or a mantra, then that’s a massive unbelievable win and you just chip away and make a little bit more progress each time. There will be good days and bad days, much like TMS work. Don’t worry whether you’re doing it right or wrong just commit to trying each day with intentionality and kindness and you can’t do it wrong.

copying this from another thread, this is a meditation I like. I think you’ll find mantra meditations beneficial. I highly recommend non guided spiritual based meditation.


(via Google AI)

So Hum meditation is a simple, silent mantra technique that
pairs the breath with the mantra "So" (inhale) and "Hum" (exhale) to promote relaxation and focus. It translates to "I am That" (identifying with universal consciousness), calming the mind and reducing anxiety by anchoring awareness to the natural rhythm of breathing.
How to Practice So Hum Meditation

• Position: Sit comfortably with an upright spine, relaxing your shoulders and jaw.
• Initial Breathing: Close your eyes and take several deep breaths, allowing your body to settle.
• The Mantra: Inhale slowly through your nose, mentally repeating the sound "So" for the duration of the inhale.
• The Exhale: Exhale slowly through your nose, mentally repeating the sound "Hum" for the duration of the exhale.
• Maintain Flow: Continue this cycle—inhale "So," exhale "Hum"—allowing the breath to be natural and effortless.
• When Your Mind Wanders: Gently acknowledge any thoughts, then return your focus to the sound of your breath and the mantra.
• Ending: After 5–20 minutes, stop the mantra, sit in silence for a moment, and gradually open your eyes.

Optional Tips

• Visualization: Visualize breathing in universal energy during the "So" and releasing tension during the "Hum".
• Pauses: Notice the subtle pauses at the top of the inhalation and the bottom of the exhalation.
• Routine: Consistent daily practice helps build a deeper sense of inner stillness.

 

@Stracksstory I had heart palpitations too before I learned about TMS. I went to the cardiologist-wore the Holter monitor and everything. I was prepared for the worst news ever since we do have heart issues in the family. And I was just told I had an extra heartbeat sometimes and was given a beta blocker. That took care of it until symptoms popped up in another place because I didn't know it was TMS at the time. In 2024 I stopped taking the beta blocker and have not dealt with any palpitations or extra heartbeats. You will be able to get over this too.

 

This is a good question. You will probably get some different answers to it. The way I conceptualize it is that I'm bringing something that is unconscious into my conscious awareness where I can then deal with it. Bringing the darkness into the light, so to speak. Sometimes just doing that is enough for me to get symptom relief. Or I can think of it as moving something that is in my primitive, reptilian brain into my higher brain where I can address it in a rational, more logical manner. I can then bring a more evolved understanding to what I'm feeling and put it in context (like awareness that is a holdover from a troubled childhood experience). I have done this using self-help techniques, but some people benefit from a good therapist helping them through it. You will find what works best for you, as long as you are willing to dive in and peel back the onion.