How I was freed from fibromyalgia, peripheral neuropathy, and chronic back pain.

Hey, Brendan, I'm sorry if I over-reacted to your post. Obviously, I misunderstood what you meant. Anyway, congratulations on your 10 months of sobriety! I'm happy for you. I know how desperate I felt when my pain was at it's worst. To be honest, I don't know what kept me from turning to drugs to escape the pain. I did try a number of different pain medications but they didn't seem to really help with my feet pain, especially. If pain medication had helped with the pain, I'm sure I would have become addicted too. I mentioned in my post that I had a trial for a continuous epidural implant. Actually, I did it twice. I think one of the medications in the pump was morphine. That made me feel NO pain, but I had some other serious health complications, from the medication, so I could not do it. And, it turned out to be a good thing because if I had gotten it, I probably would have stopped looking for an answer and just relied on the morphine to numb the pain. So, my best advice is to follow what Dr. Sarno said to do, in his book. Accept 100% that your pain is due to TMS, do the meditation DAILY, and reminders DAILY, mentioned in his book (see the you tube video in one of my previous posts), stop ALL physical treatments for your pain, and resume all normal activity. This is what worked for me. I did struggle with some doubt about my feet pain, so I had to work through that doubt in my head. If you do all of these things and your pain hasn't gotten significantly better, or gone completely, within a few months, then it's possible that you might need to see a counselor who specializes in TMS. Dr. Sarno did mention that some people need to do that. If you can't find someone locally, there are therapists listed on this website who do it over the phone or Skype. There's also a free six week program, on this website, you might want to consider doing. By the way, my offer still stands, if you would like to talk on the phone. Just let me know. Take care.

 

I truly appreciate your concern as well as your want to help someone that is suffering. What is life like for you today? where are you from? I have days that are worse than others so this tells me it is not structural. I can recognize as well that when im stressed out or holding a lot of resentments that the pain is magnified. I am just having a hard time working Sarnos concept into my life, when I wake up and im in crippling pain its hard to go to a place in your head and tell yourself the pain is from emotional factors because my mind is solely focused on the pain I cant get 2 seconds away from thinking about the pain.

 

Good morning, Brendan. I am originally from the Boston area. I live in Florida now. I moved here about 12 years ago because I hate the cold! I am self-employed and work for a state-funded program that helps people with intellectual disabilities. (I have a sister who has an intellectual disability. She lives in the Boston area.) My life today is pretty good, actually, now that my pain is a lot better. I like to do renovation projects around my house. I like the outdoors. I like to swim, hike, rollerblade, and go kayaking. I love sports. I am a big fan of the Boston pro teams. I used to play a lot of basketball and racquet sports like tennis and racquetball, and would like to get back to playing again. I like to travel. (I couldn't travel at all when my pain was bad.) I just got back from Costa Rica. I went white-water rafting, hiked up a volcano, and rappelled down a 150 foot waterfall! It was the best time I have ever had. But, like I said in my original post, 5 years ago I was basically house-bound, was using a wheelchair to go out into the community, and spent most of my time on the couch or on a mattress on the floor in my living room.

I can understand what you are saying about how hard it is to think of anything else other than the pain. I was there for a long time. All I could think about was how to minimize or reduce the pain. One of the things that I found helped me was to go into a swimming pool. That way I could float and not touch the ground. I also found that stretching, in the morning helped too. Also, you hit the nail on the head when you mentioned stress and resentment making your pain worse. It does! I also have noticed when I am feeling stressed or anxious, my pain gets worse. When I notice this, I stop and say to myself that I am feeling stressed or anxious, and then I try and think about what I am stressed or anxious about. Then I tell myself that stressing or getting anxious about it is not helping, and that it's causing me pain, and whatever it is is not worth the pain. So, I tell myself that I need to be in the present moment and focus on what I am doing right now. I have learned that most, if not all, of the healing/recovery is about changing my thoughts - about how I think about things. It's about focusing more on the positive, instead of the negative. It's about thinking about what I am grateful for. It's about not stressing out or getting anxious about things that I have no control over or can not change. It's about living in the moment. It's a mind game. Trust me, I know that this is difficult for anyone to do, even when you are not in pain, and that it's harder to do when you are in constant pain. But, if we don't do this then what's the alternative? I know what the alternative is and I don't want to go back there, so I keep doing what I feel I need to do to get better.

I would ask you to tell me what your life is like today but, if you are in constant pain, I think I have a pretty good idea. But, you can tell me if you want. I know that it can be hard to find people who can understand what you are going through. Where are you from? If you don't mind, I would like to know more about your accident. I think you said that you were crushed. Have you definitely ruled out that any of your current pain is due to a crush injury? Was there any permanent damage to bones or nerves?

 

I will start off with my life story, I have nothing to hide the program of alcoholic anonymous teaches me that harvesting these resentments and emotions into my resentment " bank account" is fuel for the needle eventually it gets too much and I feel way to uncomfortable in my own skin to deal with reality. I am dual diagnosed I am certain I was born with addiction and TMS. I am from South Boston Massachusetts maybe that's why I like you lol I was born into an alcoholic household where I was abused physically, emotionally, mentally, sexually so I can see how these repressed emotions led me to addiction and TMS. I would also at a young age watch men beat my mother and she would hop from boyfriend to boyfriend which made me a very angry child and I rebelled started hanging with the wrong crowd and did a lot of things I am not proud of. I went through life like I had a chip on my shoulder, ive always been filled with tension, resentment, anger, stress, and abandonment issues. Eventually when I got to be 15 years old my dad won custody of me and my twin brother Patrick and got us out of the abusive house hold with my mother. Like my mother my dad has a horrible temper and would beat us with belts and my house was ruled by fear just like any typical Boston Irish house hold so I didn't think anything of it as this was the normal where I'm from. I forgot to mention my mother abandoned us when my dad got custody which made me feel like I wasn't good enough for her love, at this time I was 15-16 years old. My older brother just got out of prison for bank robbery and I started running with him and his crowd. I got involved in crime and drugs like everyone else my age in my neighborhood. This was the era where oxycontin and heroin was riddling the boston area. Fast forward to 18 years old after 2 years of drug abuse and my life is at an ultimate rock bottom I enter my first drug treatment program. I left that treatment program after 2 months of sobriety and got a job at FW WEBB COMPANY in south boston where I was crushed by a fork lift, after xrays and everything they couldn't find what was wrong with me, the pain would come and go and I eventually relapsed and overdosed on heroin at the time my "normal" girlfriend found me without a pulse in the bathroom at 2 a.m. and saved my life with narcan. For the next 3 years I would go in and out of rehab trying to get sober ruining everything in my life... jobs, relationships, etc... this whole time im going to chiro, massage, getting epidurals, nerve burning, facet injections (10) and nothing is working they finally tell me they don't know what else they can do for me they don't know where the pain is coming from and my best option is to get on methadone for managing the pain I said no. That is when I thought about ending my life I was tired of getting fucked in life, excuse my language. I am now 21 and 10 months sober. That girlfriend I was with for 3 years left me 9 months ago because of the damage I had caused which devastated me. That mother that abused me and allowed other men to as a young child is now dieing from cancer and has about 2 months left to live which if really hard because I want to be there for her but I have such harvested hatred for her but I repress it and do everything I can for her... feed her, dress her, feed her pills, give her oxygen etc... I am currently living with my uncle who has 25 years sober and is spiritual and he had crippling back and hip pain and was going to get operated on and a friend gave him the mind body prescription by DR SARNO and it cured him 100% of his pain. So I went out and bought the book as well as HBP by sarno and The great pain deception by steven ozanich, ive read HBP and I can see myself on every single page. I am confident I have TMS, I find it very difficult to balance trying to stay sober, working, paying bills, and dealing with my crippling back pain as well as a broken heart from my break up because once again I feel like I am not good enough. I am absolutely a perfectionist and I am always in fight or flight mode and want to be in control of everything because im tired of life screwing me. It has now been 2 months since I embarked on this TMS journey I can say I have days where I have great relief and then days where the pain in unbearable. I am confident I have TMS though and look forward to seeing how this journey unfolds. I pray it works. Sorry if I was all over the place I could of written 50 pages of stuff ive been through and done, I am not asking for a pity party or looking for a poor me I am just simply stating my story and how I can see how repressing everything my whole life would give me this crippling back pain.

 

your story is very inspiring...hope all is well.

 

Thank you, Click#7. I am doing well. TMS pain is 80% better, overall, than it was before I read Sarno's book.

 

Did you ever take pain meds ? PS I am a Floridian LOL...

 

Hello Dasgo218, I resonate with you saying that stress and resentment rack up your pain.I have had one of those days and just now went on the forums and there your post with those words leapt out at me! I had a 16 hour day yesterday non stop with two toddlers and today well ..... and yes resentment ,stress,annoyance in being too kind( not to children but parents!) and and and .... so today is a lesson to me to say no more often.Im so glad you are doing so well! All the best!

 

Keep educating yourself on TMS if you feel like there is more to learn. I don't know how many times I read the TMS Wiki before I finally felt like I understood every way that it applied to me and what to do. Also, realize that this may not get better in the way any other injury has gotten better, gradual and linear. I feel like my improvements have been 2 steps forward, one back, 3 forward, and so on. 2 gotchas for me:

I was obsessing with the whole situation. Couldn't really be in the moment living my life. So I stopped journaling once I felt like I had addressed those things causing me anxiety.

2nd thing that I couldn't figure out for quite a while is that I was fearing the pain rather than accepting it and being patient and defiant towards it. That's made a huge difference.

I'm also just VERY hard headed. Getting a DEEP belief in TMS not only being the problem, but the fact I am able to have success in treating it was hard to make happen. I'm impatient too, so that adds difficulty.

Hope that's helpful.

 

Sorry it's taken me so long to respond. The short answer to your question is, yes. I have taken pain meds, in the past. I can't remember all of them. The only meds that helped with the feet and FM pain, was a combination of Gabapentin and Cymbalta. The Gabapentin alone didn't help, but when it was combined with the Cymbalta, it did. However, it didn't treat 100% of the pain AND, over time, it became less effective. AND, getting off Cymbalta is challenging. It has to be done very gradually or else it can cause withdrawal symptoms which can become permanent, so you need to be VERY careful. That being said, after I read Sarno's book, I did not use any pain medication for about 2 years. For the first 6 months, or so, my pain was about 90% better so I didn't need any pain meds. Then some of the pain came back to where I was about 70% better. That's when I realized that TMS is a chronic condition and that I hadn't really dealt with the underlying emotional issues. So, I started seeing a therapist. Then, about 3 months ago, I dropped in on a FM support group and I heard a couple of people talking about taking low-dose Naltrexone. So, I did a little research on it, talked with my doctor, and they agreed to prescribe it. So, I have been taking 4.5mg of Naltrexone, daily, for the past 3 months. It does seem to take some of the pain away but not 100%. Since I read Sarno's book, I have learned that it's ok to take pain medication but only after you have accepted, and believe, 100%, that the cause of the pain is emotional and not physical. If you still believe that the underlying cause of the pain is physical, and not emotional, then taking pain medication will only reinforce to your unconscious mind that you believe the cause is physical, and it will continue to cause the pain.

 

Hi Aggie. I am sorry to hear that you had a tough day. It sounds stressful and, I imagine, exhausting. I hope that you are able to take care of yourself, as much as it sounds that you are taking care of others. It has been my experience that us TMS'ers tend to put other's needs before our own. Then we end up feeling angry, resentful, and unappreciated. But, because we also feel the need to be "perfect and good", as Sarno would say, we end up not saying anything, and those feelings get repressed and they eventually get expressed through our bodies, in the form of physical symptoms. For me personally, I had to figure out what my limits and boundaries are and to learn to express them, and not to feel bad or guilty for having and expressing my wants and needs. Hope this helps.

 

did you have pain while reducing pain meds ?