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I need help...

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Steve J., Sep 5, 2016.

  1. Steve J.

    Steve J. Well known member

    I accepted this! Last year I was doing super well. This has been a relapse, which seems to be even more difficult to overcome. This iron level freaks me the f*ck out, too. But it shouldn't. My primary is a devoted, compassionate, and experienced practicioner. I have faith in her, it's faith in myself that is lacking.
  2. pspa

    pspa Well known member

    Even in your obsessional focus I am guessing it would be difficult for you to articulate a rational explanation for how slightly elevated iron is connected to your symptoms. IF it were an issue -- and obviously it's not -- (1) it would manifest in some other way and (2) it would be very easily dealt with by giving blood, which as I am sure you know is what people with iron overload from hemachromatosis do. This is your anxiety/OCD speaking, as I am sure at some level you understand. The fact that you were doing well at one point is all you need to know -- you probably had the same iron level then.
    eskimoeskimo and Steve J. like this.
  3. Steve J.

    Steve J. Well known member

    You're very right. That's an awesome response, pspa.

  4. Steve J.

    Steve J. Well known member

    Here I am thinking irreversible damage has been done, though--muscle wasting or arthritis or something. But I don't feel weak, nor do I have arthritic symptoms. My mind is so much more "comfortable" in ruminating on the irrational, rather than basking in the rational.
  5. pspa

    pspa Well known member

    I completely understand the mindset. As one of my gurus says, OCD is a disorder of doubt. Feel free to message me if you want to talk some more.
    readytoheal and eskimoeskimo like this.
  6. Steve J.

    Steve J. Well known member

    Thank you. I might just take you up on that. I appreciate your help today.
  7. TG957

    TG957 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Awesome, awesome! You are a rock star!

    If I may suggest couple things: Do you keep your affirmation list? Also, yoga, Qi Gong or meditation practices are known to calm racing thoughts. Best of luck to you!
  8. eskimoeskimo

    eskimoeskimo Well known member

  9. eskimoeskimo

    eskimoeskimo Well known member

    I sure can commiserate. I know that panic well. In fact, now I'm fighting the urge to open a new tab and investigate iron deficiency. If I let go of the reins, it'd take me <12 seconds to determine I've got an iron deficiency and that's why I feel like shit. I've done it with lyme's disease, lead in the water, tapeworms, parasites, ankylosing spondylitis, ménière's disease, even gigantism before I finished growing... on and on and on. Okay, fine. You've got low iron. So what? Your doctor's not worried about it, and it doesn't explain your symptoms. You've got TMS. In fact, I think you can add this episode to your evidence sheet! You've been red-herring'd again! It's a good thing. It means - even though it doesn't feel like it - there's nothing wrong with you.

    So... congrats?

    I'm up and down all and all over the place. Pretty confused about what exactly I'm supposed to be doing. Journaling more consistently and doing nothing at all both seem like viable options, and they seem opposed to each other. Journaling narrows my vision and heightens my symptoms, but maybe that will eventually lead to progress. Doing nothing, at least when I'm doing nothing 'well,' often eases my symptoms... but I'm not sure it'll get me further than background pain... say 3 or 4/10. And then eventually my frustration about 3/10 ramps it back up to 7/10.

    A note you may be able to relate to. Early on, when anxiety and depression started for me (late to mid teens), my blood pressure readings were always high. The doctors always dismissed it as 'nerves,' but needless to say I've worried about. Paying attention to my heart beat has become a debilitating obsession superseded only by neck pain. After fretting about it for 10 years now, and avoiding readings entirely... my therapist took some readings over the last few weeks. Turns out, it's fine. My point is.... think of all that wasted energy. If I tally it all up... I bet I spent 3 full years of those 10 worried about a problem that I didn't even have. It's like I spent 3 years in a jail cell... a jail cell that was just a box painted on grass without any walls.

    So... don't jail yourself !

    Your Comrade,
    Ines likes this.
  10. eskimoeskimo

    eskimoeskimo Well known member

    Amen. I think that's what going on when I say I struggle with doubting TMS diagnosis. Even when I can't come up with any good reasons why... I just doubt, and doubt, and doubt. That, in itself, is a symptom. We three and many more must address it.
    Steve J. likes this.
  11. Steve J.

    Steve J. Well known member

    He's got a name! Thanks, man. I actually have elevated iron levels, not low ones. But regardless, I should not be worrying about it.

    Obsession is at the heart of TMS I would definitely say. It takes great patience and rational overriding to overcome. I have very little of either. Haha
  12. eskimoeskimo

    eskimoeskimo Well known member

    Elevated, low, right, left, up, down... can't you just hear Dr. Sarno's voice: "It's not important." ?

    You've done it before. You can do this.

    I'm sure you've seen this already, but Ellen's write up always helps me: http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/recovery-from-20-years-of-fibromyalgia-and-a-lifetime-of-migraines.7924/ (Recovery from 20 years of fibromyalgia and a lifetime of migraines)
  13. Steve J.

    Steve J. Well known member

    Thank you, sir. Ellen's story is phenomenal. Big respect for her.

    Is it unimportant? In the letter she said discontinue any iron supplementation (which I wasn't doing) and that we'll just regularly monitor the levels going forward. If she, a medically trained and 30+year experienced nurse practicioner doesn't seem concerned, neither should I.

    We will all get there...I super-dupes appreciate everyone's support. Good vibes all around.

    Last edited: Sep 21, 2016
  14. eskimoeskimo

    eskimoeskimo Well known member

    Let me clarify. When I say it's not important, what I really mean is:

    I don't know the first thing about iron levels. Listen to your trusted medical professional, who is telling you don't fret. You're working together to monitor it in a safe way. And it sounds highly unlikely that that would explain your TMS symptoms. So, don't ruminate on it. It's being addressed. What's more likely... you're an obsession prone individual who might over think this in a way that's unhelpful, or that you've discovered some underlying condition at last that explains everything ?
    Steve J. likes this.
  15. Steve J.

    Steve J. Well known member

    I totally understand. I wasn't meaning to question your assessment/opinion. You're dead on.
  16. Ben117

    Ben117 New Member

    Steve, just wanted to chip in with my support as another young guy (trying) to deal with TMS.

    I've only had symptoms for coming up to 1 year, and I've only been attempting to deal with them with TMS theory for about half that time, so I'm by no means an expert - but from reading your original post there seems to be a clear pattern that suggests the cause of your current pain is not physical.

    In 2010 you mention how you developed anxiety/OCD/depression, and it's following this that you develop all your pain and other conditions...

    Then in 2015, when you start dealing with the anxiety, you begin to improve and get better.

    Then, when you break your ankle, you once again start worrying about pain (i.e. becoming anxious, obsessing), and the pain comes back again...

    I don't think that's a coincidence! But equally, I understand how in the midst of a difficult episode of TMS, it can be very hard to force yourself into recognising the true cause of your pain.

    You got better before (or at least almost did!) and I'm sure you will again.
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2016
    eskimoeskimo and Steve J. like this.
  17. Steve J.

    Steve J. Well known member

    Thanks, Ben. Yes...all signs certainly point to TMS. It's very very frustrating to have had such belief in it to now be experiencing such doubt. I feel like I've been duped by my mind again.
  18. Steve J.

    Steve J. Well known member

    Hi all,

    So I followed up with my primary, who has referred me to a hematologist to have my iron levels normalized/get examined, etc.

    I emailed Doctor Schubiner to outline the situation. He seems fairly certain that I'll be fine and that the elevated iron levels are unrelated to my limb pain. But he is glad that I'm seeing the hematologist.

    I just wanted to keep you all in the loop. You've been a great support.

    Ben117 and BeWell like this.
  19. Steve J.

    Steve J. Well known member


    I can happily report that the appointment with the hematologist went swimmingly. Everything is totally fine, and the levels that did show have absolutely nothing to do with my muscle/limb pain. I'm stoked. I've been off the forum for a bit in anticipation of this appointment, but no more. As a former professor of mine used to say at the end of each class: Onward!

    eskimoeskimo likes this.
  20. eskimoeskimo

    eskimoeskimo Well known member

    That's tremendous news Steve. Onward!

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