I'm new here AND SO GRATEFUL!

Hi stayfit,

I really appreciate your comment. You didn't ask me, but I want to respond. I think we all tend to project the superego, or Inner Critic on God. This is very common, painful, and familiar to me personally.

In a way we can't help it because God is the ultimate "parent" in our minds, whether we might realize it or not. So we get caught in our thoughts about what God is and who we are, all based on childhood experiences. This makes it difficult to actually trust a "Loving God," because our parents (even the best) weren't always loving. It is easy to distrust God, and distrust our acceptance, distrust our innate goodness. To actually have a relationship with God is not easy because of these early imprints from childhood. In your case, you mention habits which we learn in childhood.

I say all of this with respect, and hope you might find something in what I say of value. Again, what you describe is an almost universal experience, which I see in myself, and working with many people over the years. It is not often mentioned, and I think it is important because everyone (even "non-believers") has a sense of the power of the universe and their relationship to it. It is not always as conscious as you state.

Andy B

 

bump

 

Hi stayfit65!
Yes! You nailed one of the biggest struggles that we lay upon ourselves. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies as Christians.
The Gospel is the Good News that God the Father loved us so much DESPITE our sin that He sent Jesus as our substitute to live the "good" life that we could never and die on the cross in our place so that we can live eternally with Him.
Coming to Jesus is a BOLD PROCLAMATION that I'm not good (Look everybody! I am a sinner!). The Apostle Paul said that he knew the right thing to do, but kept on doing the wrong thing. And the very thing he hated, he ended up doing. But after making that confession, he said, my hope is not in my "Goodness." My hope is in Jesus! Many christians sing the old hymn, My hope is built on nothing less, than Jesus' blood and righteousness," yet we still try to wear a mask of Christian perfection.
That is not to say, Grace will cover it, so I'll sin all the more. By no means! But it does mean that I start building my life on a foundation of grace, not of personal perfection.
And, as you pointed out, we try to hide our faults from God (it's been that way since Genesis 3). But our hiding never brings health.
If I have understood the TMS/PPD teachers well (correct me if I'm wrong), the HIDING is the root of most of the pain. Dr. Sarno taught that the hiding reflex is so instinctive that we not only hide the truth from God, or others, but even deeper in our brain wiring/chemistry, there is a part of our brain that controls the involuntary functions of our body working in concert with a "HIDE THE HARD STUFF" part of our brain that causes physical pain to distract from the emotional or spiritual pain.
King David actually said that his bones ached because of his sin. And that was just the sin of which he was consciously aware.
That's my rambling way of saying, "Yup. I agree."

 

That's right on the money. As a pastor, I have had many people who bristle at the idea of God as a loving Father the way Jesus describes Him because their own experience with their dad was anything but loving. I forgot which writer coined the term, but he basically said we all have "Father Wounds." Even the best dads can honestly look back and check off the many places where they have failed.

 

I'm also a Christian and was quite skeptical of the TMS approach at first, but it really does marry up with a lot of what scripture says as you've been saying. It's encouraging to see that there are others on here coming from a similar place.

Today I recognised that I wasn't being wholly honest with God (or myself) on some things and so I decided to swap out journalling with prayer. Offloading to paper is something, but speaking to your creator with true honesty is on a other level!

So much of this process lines up and correlates with scripture - mind over body = spirit over flesh. My own perfectionistic, "goodist" striving is counterproductive - relying on the holy spirit to be my strength and reveal to me the areas that need attention is key.

Some scripture I have been meditating on and have found helpful:

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of love, and of power and of a sound mind" - 1 Timothy 1:7

"Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." - Phillipians 4:6-7