Issues with Running

Hi - Thanks for your post, I appreciate the comments and your thoughtfulness. I think I should clarify my relationship with running a bit better since I glossed over some of it above.

So, the truth is I usually do not like the actual act of running. Lots of things I don't like - the shortness of breath, the high heartrate, the effort, the pain (I'm talking pain from exertion here not joint/injury pain) the "creakiness" early on before the body warms up. Moving ourselves from a stasis to an active state - a highly active state at that - is jarring and shocking and the body (and child brain) don't like that!

But do genuinely like that I do it and continue to do it. It's complicated so I'll attempt to explain. I know it's good for me, it has produced great results with keeping weight off (my Dr visits are proof - I have the health stats at 53 of a 20something) and it is terrific at mental state rehabilitation (i.e. anti depressant). I do enjoy some of my other health pursuits more (cycling is downright fun sometimes - running is rarely fun), and I rarely feel the anxiety around those activities like I do with running, but I've determined that is almost always around the expectations and performance anxiety I feel with running. With a race on the calendar, it is a black/white judgment of performance measured in time. This can be stressful when you're a TMSer and seek perfection.

So no, I won't let my subconscious steer me away from this activity - not just for all those reasons above that I know it's good for me, but also damnit I will NOT let my TMS brain determine any aspect of my life. If none of those reasons existed above, I would still not allow this. It is the absolute antithesis of Sarno's "cure" - heck, it's one of the daily reminders (several actually) so it is practically a COMMANDMENT if I am going to pursue this way of life.

Sarno's daily reminders (7 thru 11)

Therefore, physical activity is not dangerous

And I MUST resume all normal physical activity

I will not be concerned or intimidated by the pain

I will shift my attention from pain to the emotional issues

I intend to be in control-NOT my subconscious mind

(emphasis mine)

 

I like your gumption. I’m going to take a clue from it. I think I give in too easily to my subconscious mind. It really takes a lot of grit from your core, doesn’t it? To stand up to this stuff and fight through the physical, painful—and even psychological—blockers.

I get it about the running. You do actually like it. You like what it does for you, so that’s liking it.

 

Hello @Mr Hip Guy

We have talked about running before, and I came on here today to post about some of my own running issues, and saw your post. It was interesting reading because I am newly interested in trail running over the roads (seems like more fun, as you point out). One thing I find interesting about your current situation is that you can dance and do other things without these symptoms. It is only running that brings it on. This would seem to me to point to TMS.

I wonder if indulging in the 15 minute warm up is making it worse? The first 15 minutes of your normal run could be your "warm up."

One thing I came here to post about today was wondering if I or my TMS brain keeps lowering the bar for introduction of symptoms. Before I was cognizant of my TMS I would need to run 30-40 miles a week and get in good shape for it to strike (usually just as I was coming off a good stretch of training and feeling confident). I went through the entire encyclopedia of common running injuries for about two years. I would ramp up, start doing well, get injured, take six weeks off, ramp up, start doing well, a new "injury." All of them new to me and fairly inexplicable.

Then I had a bout of intense pelvic pain that I resolved through TMS work and realized all those running "injuries" were probably TMS, too.

Interestingly, now I feel like the TMS symptoms come on much sooner when I start to ramp up my running or start looking ahead, gearing up for a race I want to do, etc. It's like my TMS brain is saying well since I know you know what I am now, I might as well just hit you immediately rather than trying to disguise this as an overuse injury.

Right now I'm dealing with foot/heel pain, which would no doubt be diagnosed as plantar fasciitis, even though I have in no way run enough miles in the last few weeks/months to get an overuse injury like this. What I have done the last few weeks is started to get excited about trail running and signed up for a couple trail races I'd really like to do. Again though the TMS is so tricky--the symptoms I have exactly mimic plantar fasciitis, and it is indeed quite painful, leaving me in this state of doubt. And I'm resolved to not hurry to the doctor for this, so.

I wonder if your TMS brain is hitting you with these symptoms at the start of your run because, like my TMS brain now, it knows you know what's going on relative to overuse injuries (like your hip) and so it's not wasting any time in trying to disguise itself that way anymore.

One more thing: If you follow running news like I do, you're probably aware of a famous female olympic marathoner recently diagnosed with dystonia, as her story has been written about in major running publications. Has your TMS brain locked onto this, perhaps?

Also if you have any advice on my "plantar fasciitis" I'd love to hear it!

 

Lots of stuff here to comment to, bear with me.

Trail Running = Fun. Yes, definitely. I actually think some of my current situation is that I've started to do a lot more road running preparing for this marathon than I've done in awhile. Trail running is just so much better in all ways that there is no comparison, it's almost like a different sport.

You're absolutely right that this "warmup" is TMS talking. It's the reason it goes away, not that I've actually "warmed up" but instead TMS brain has just given up and said "welp, I guess you're going to continue with this" instead. And what I meant by 'warmup' is that the first 15min of my run is this herky-jerky period that I seem to always have to work through anymore. I tried doing non-running "warmups" and they were a complete waste of time for me, I still had to go through 1.5 miles or so before I would begin to run normally anyway.

As far as symptoms rearing their head as you get further into training, or put a race on the calendar, or get near that race timewise - that is classic TMS and I have experienced that many times. You can see what it's trying to do if you step back and view it from some perspective. It's trying to sabotage the "event" because it is afraid (for you) of what it will bring on.

As for Plantar Fasciitis - oh yes, have dealt with that along with all the other classic running injuries. Fortunately, the last time I had it was just a few years ago (I think I mention it in my knee pain thread here) and after I had learned about TMS - it still fooled me for a few months (I can be dumb), but once I recognized it as TMS? Guess what, it went away.

And yep, I know all about Kara Goucher and her dystonia diagnosis. It's sad, but if you know anything about her (she has an autobiography out), it's easy to spot a TMS sufferer in her. You're right though, I'm pretty sure her predicament has impacted my subconscious. There's also a run blogger I follow that has Parkinson's now (she's in her late 40s so this is unusual) and I'm sure that has wormed it's way in on me too.

 

This has been quite a find, thank you again for sharing.

In her blog "why we can't stop exercising despite pain/injuries" she makes some insightful comments around training (whether it's running, cycling, weight lifting, etc).

https://www.thepfathlete.com/blog/why-we-can-t-stop-exercising-despite-pain-and-injuries (Why We Can’t Stop Exercising Despite Pain and Injuries)

I think alot of these ring true.

 

I think many of those things can be transposed into items of daily life that apply to anyone, not just athletes.
Her website features some really good tools like her wheel of Sports Performance, Life Grid and recovery charts. Really nice tools for athletes to use in conjunction with journaling and self-exploration. https://www.thepfathlete.com/resources (Resources)

 

I haven't had time to check in on this thread, but I need to update as some things have been happening.

After that run above where I just gritted my teeth and ran hard for 2m (I call this the @Baseball65 method), I had a bit of a breakthrough as the very next run my initial dystonic/herky-jerky symptoms were much less pronounced AND they last less time than the usual 15+ minutes. I also went on to have one of my best and most comfortable runs in quite awhile. I was encouraged through the weekend, including my 20m run on Saturday, the last really-long training run before my marathon.

But what's interesting is that with this mild breakthrough - guess what is happening? Yep, those of you know what's coming next...

I have had a bout of Plantar Fasciitis flare up! This is classic symptom-imperative and I actually see this as a good sign - maybe I have this initial issue on-the-run. And besides, I know how to deal with PF, having had it before - it is 100% a TMS equivalent.