Losing frienships ?

How about «losing» friends, relatives, neighbors after (gently) suggesting him/her that his/her pain (even excruciating or unbearable) could be not connected to fisical/structural damage/injury/pathology but to emotional repression, neural pathways, ....?
How about his/her reaction? Surprised? Suspicious? Offended? Insulted? Angry?
What approaching do you recommend?

M.

 

MBO
It may be hard for some of us to remember the scorn we had the first time we heard of Dr. Sarno's ideas. I remember it clearly, being a medic and growing up indoctrinated with the mainstream medical paradigm, I believed that pain and all illnesses can be explained by very "real" causes. I remember telling people , don't waste your time with this quackery. Approaching others from a place of understanding is very powerful. I know one thing for sure, that showing earnest empathy for someone that is pushing back on Dr. Sarno's idea that smack of the insult that " I don't have phycological issue" is a trusted way of make headway with people that you want to help. But I was wisely advised by one of my mentors , "In our field ,you have to be like a fisherman, throw out enticing bait and wait for them to make the move" Ultimately it has to come from them. but choose your bait wisely and remember we must be patient with those that resist , even when they turn to other ideas that we know are a dead end, we must continue to have empathy.

 

@mbo I approached this with a friend.
He had more back problems as he became more dissatisfied with his job. His wife had shoulder issues. They both know of my struggles.
I told them briefly of trying Sarno’s approach. Not the anger but linking personality and emotions. I left it there.
Then about 6 months later my friend texted me: back issues again, not fully satisfied with new job. Aha! There are more life stressors too. Some of it they both deal with in yoga and meditation, but he is beginning to connect dots and realize there is a connection to explore. When he mentions it again I will offer to send him a Sarno book.
A few other friends recognized themselves in my story ( they recovered with similar methods to Sarno but had not heard of him). I only mention it if people ask about how I am doing and relate it to themselves. Otherwise I keep my mouth shut. Part of my perfectionism is wanting to help everyone and make sure they are ok. Giving unsolicited advice feeds into that.

 

Boy can I relate to that. On one of Nicole Sachs recent podcasts, she had a guest on (a pediatric dentist that uses TMS techniques on some of his patients) and he admitted a "fixer" personality type, particularly as being prone to TMS. This is me, big time, always looking for a problem to "fix" or a puzzle to solve.