Need advice on how to help my family accept my TMS

That doesn’t sound good, @Cactusflower —sorry you have to deal with that.

As for my grown kids- they are all 3 extremely self sufficient and even successful. I deliberately raised them to be independent, especially because my parents were so controlling and judgmental. Probably it backfired a little for me, because they aren’t too attached at all—but they are also boys. I think that’s common.

My difficulty comes in being weak and aging in front of them and now with these pretty drastic TMS symptoms, I can’t stand them seeing me like this. Maybe it’s my perfectionism problem. It probably is! Ok, it is. And— I hate needing help from anyone.

It’s also me recalling how I felt when my mom had some of these exact same symptoms with MS when I was growing up. I don’t want them to feel what I felt. But this is an entirely different scenario.

So yes, I have a lot of issues and yes, I’ve been through tons and tons and tons of therapy over it. I like what @JanAtheCPA said about just plain asking them what they feel about things. Haven’t done that yet! My kids and I tend to leave a lot of things unspoken. They fellow my lead. I haven’t wanted to talk about my situation, but lately I’ve been talking more about my TMS. At first, I just wished it would go away before we had to talk about it! But now, it’s there and it’s probably the test that I need to pass. I can feel myself slowly having to learn to be who I am; be unafraid of who I am; speak up about who I am; speak up about what I want; and not be ashamed. I would say these are good TMS issues and yes, TMS is a healer if you really think about it. It really changes you from the inside and then when you’re finally changed —you’re fixed on the outside. (I hope! Not there yet.)