Positive vs. Negative Feedback Loops

“Between stimulus and response there’s a space, in that space lies our power to choose our response, in our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

~ Viktor Frankl

Your gracious reply calls to mind the Frankl quote above, surely a man whose experience far exceeds any harm or abuse anyone here has endured.

There are layers upon layers of self-knowledge and wisdom as we move beyond TMS healing and deeper into a profoundly soulful relationship with life. During TMS recovery I found that much recovery revolved around unlearning our faulty defence mechanisms. These are beautifully explained by the psychotherapist Pete Walker whose work focuses on C-PTSD and the trauma hybrids it creates. I’d encourage anyone interested in this to explore Pete’s work, much of which can be found on his website:

http://www.pete-walker.com/ (Pete Walker, M.A. Psychotherapy)

Integral to this healing is honouring that space between trigger and reactivity, the mindful non-action you mention. An exquisite healing happens here, including the fragile recovery from codependency (or Walker’s fawn response which is particularly germane to TMS sufferers and people pleaser’s).

The noisy neighbour issue is one I have known well. Until this Autumn past I long lived in council/social housing and was subject to the various wobbles such communities engender. I don’t miss it. My new neighbour enjoys playing music but it’s not so bad and there is a quid pro quo as my husband is a musician. And so it goes.

 

By choosing my response, I go from feeling like a victim to being in control of what I am able to control--my thoughts and emotions.

 

Finding that your next-floor person isn't being noisy anymore pleases me.