I can really relate to your story. I too started to develop symptoms after graduating and not knowing what to do next. Being back home after years at university and studying abroad and having nothing to do, I got obsessed with the way I looked as well: dragging myself to the gym everyday, focusing on my clothing style, obsessing over my appearance 24/7 (I would have full blown panic attacks in the morning when I was getting ready to go somewhere). In all honesty, my appearance had always been a sore spot for me but now it got problematic. I started to become very anxious and started to develop social phobia, insomnia, muscle spasms and had many panic attacks for the smallest things. Slowly I also developed rosacea in my face and issues with my eyes (light sensitivity, dry eyes, pressure behind the eyes, very red inflamed veins and eyelid twitching). It caused my skin to react badly to any creams and makeup and I was no longer able to wear mascara, eye-makeup etc. because they were so dry, bloodshot and painful. For me this was dramatic. I've always had low self-esteem and felt ugly troughout my entire life and make-up helped me cover up my insecurities (both figuratively and literally). Except for my parents, literally no one had seen me without it. Through journaling I discovered where these insecurities stemmed from.
Ever since discovering TMS my anxiety, insomnia, social phobia, panic attacks and musclespasms have faded away. My skin is getting better as well. I'm still working on my eyes though, it's my most persistent symptom and it keeps distracting me. I recently realized that TMS forces me to go outside and interact with the world 'bare-faced' and to show everyone who I really am (I used to be a people pleaser and wasn't true to myself because I wanted everyone to like me). To feel confident the way I am instead of hiding behind layers of makeup and a fake persona.
Your story and how your symptoms came about reminded me so very much of myself and helps me be even more confident in the TMS diagnosis. Thank you for that. I look forward to hearing about your journey!
Yasmine