Rage, Fear, and TMS in the Time of COVID-19

Did you feel better afterwards? It sounds like an excellent thing to do!

 

I didn't feel any different, I wish I had! On the other hand, maybe if I had stuffed it and didn't have my rant I would be worse than before. It must have let some of the rage out of the boiling pot.

I'm so glad you asked me that, because I didn't think it helped, but maybe it did. Cool. Thanks

 

Maybe you need to do it more times or do it regularly-- several times a week. I would definitely expect you to derive some benefit from this expression, but it might take a while. After all, that's the general instruction for all the Sarno/Schubiner emotional stuff: repeat often and then repeat again and again.

I agree that the best place to shout and scream is the car, preferably parked somewhere fairly secluded. The car is also a good place to cry loudly. Crying quietly IMHO is best done in the shower or bathtub.

 

Even though I loathe this word, I would say my form of reaching out is organic. I've cultivated a group of friends and relatives that I feel comfortable being authentic with. Cultivated - because those kinds of relationships are give and take. Sometimes, I need to be held up, other times I am the one doing the holding. When I'm feeling the need to connect, I peruse my group and see who I haven't spoken in a while. I'm pretty selective about who I share my time with and have weeded out most of the toxic people who only want someone on the other end to listen while they endlessly vent. Most of my friends are "glass is half full" kind of folks so our conversations usually turn to laughter, even if they don't start off that way. Conversely, when someone reaches out to me, I try to quickly respond and be the type of friend that I want in my life...supportive, vulnerable, funny, and authentic. Sometimes, a funny meme or a text saying "I'm thinking about you" is as comforting as a conversation.

 

Grace, can you tell about how you are staying strong during this time? Thanks, Lizzy

 

Hi all,
I am new here, but wanted to say that the pandemic lockdowns have affected me and increased my symptoms. I live a very privileged life and am not directly under threat from Coronavirus (so far) but I did temporarily lose my beloved volunteer job and most of my other stress-management strategies and distractions. It has been a real challenge to be home with my thoughts so much, but in a way it has been a gift - I am doing the hard work of facing my inner turmoil now. Me and my bad haircut are crying it out twice a day now that there's nowhere to run.
The uncertainty and frustration and existential fear affect everyone on this planet right now, and my heart goes out to everyone.

 

Hi
Have not been perusing this site for many months. Decided to see if anyone was talking about the current pandemic and how they were faring.

Back in early March I put myself in lockdown. Not venturing out unless necessary, reading incessantly about how the disease was progressing globally and locally. I became ill, not with CV but with weird flu like symptoms, aches and pains. I believed it was all TMS, but it frightened me nevertheless.

Late March my husband and I went to check on our home in the woods, in an isolated location about 140 miles from our home. After two days we decided to not go back to our urban setting and have been here since. Symptoms still plagued me, but I endured and tried to relax into the bucolic setting I was in. Lots of woods, National Forest directly behind us with thousands of acres, few neighbors. Not on a main road. It is a lovely setting, if you enjoy isolation. I am an introvert, and am comfortable not seeing others for extended times. My husband is more of an extrovert, but has found solace in working in our piece of the forest, hiking, photographing the animals that pass by, gardening (which I also enjoy) and watching the telly, which for me is not a pleasant thing to do.

So, now, mid July, I am still working with a sore throat, worried, but not seriously ailing. Resting and trying to regain my self. I remember as a child people saying they had lost their bearings. That is where I am now, I am sure many others are as well. I am slowly adjusting to the new reality. Until such time, which I am sure will be far in the future, when we will be able to revive our former way of living, this is how it will be. I guess worry has always been my sidekick, and now is the time for me to learn to let it go.

May all of you stay safe.

Kindly
Lainey

 

Lainey, thank you so much for posting in this thread. Frankly, I'm amazed that there isn't more discussion about the effect that COVID is having on those of us already susceptible to health anxiety. I have no explanation. Your idyllic getaway sounds lovely and I envy you having someone to be locked down with. (Hope you like him. )

Are you sure you don't have COVID? Have you been tested? Not that it matters, because with the mild-ish symptoms you are experiencing you would be sent home anyway. In San Antonio, Texas, where I live, the hospitals are filling up and in Houston (about 200 miles east of here) people with regular ailments and conditions are being turned away from the ER. Refrigeration trucks have arrived to handle bodies. The heat index right now is 110.

You said "telly" -- are you British? I don't watch TV news at all. In fact. mostly what I watch are British mystery/escape shows-- Father Brown, Miss Marple, Midsommer Murders, Endeavour, Lewis. I've seen ALL of them a zillion times but still watch over and over. I don't want anything present-day or emotionally challenging. I'm hunkered down in my nest with my two cats and dog. Only venture out to walk and groceries once a week.

I've been having excruciating TMS in my legs, neck, back. I've been using the Curable app on my phone-- it's great. It's an express train into the Sarno/Schubiner worldview. It's a bit "cute," but has great content.

Please check in again. I'd love to know how you're doing.

Bonnie

 

Ohhh, Texas/Arizona what a mess things are there right now. I know someone in Austin. BIG state. Have driven across its' entirety once. . .many years ago. Have traveled frequently to New Mexico to visit my husbands family.

I was going to go get tested but being as I just have the sore throat and an occasional cough and no chest/breathing issues I decided to hold out and see. Today I am much improved. Hope for more improvement tomorrow. I am buoyed by my improvement today. Cases in this county of Virginia are not high. Probably due to the sparse population. Yet, there are some. More than I like to hear, but few compared to the county where I have a home in Maryland. I wear a mask, and for now, most people are also wearing them in stores and public places. The governor had mandated them. That being said, there is a significant population of people here who do not want such mandates for 'themselves' IMO they are being selfish and childish.

No, I am not British, but one of my dearest friends is from Scotland and she still (after many years in the US) still uses the language of her home from time to time. My home residence is in Maryland but, for now I am currently abiding in Virginia.

So sorry for you losses of your beloved partners. I'm not sure how I would handle this segment of my life alone. I have a dear friend who is doing just that and she is doing well, from all appearances. She is much more outgoing than I.

Glad you are trying TMS for what ails you. I spent many, many hours journaling, reading and processing my various issues. Read lots of books, was determined to rid my body of the pains I had. Knew that I had underlying psychological issues that were contributing to my pain, also knew that I could let them go. Most are gone now. It was a process. Be gentle and patient with yourself. You can find my older posts on this site if you want to see/hear more about me. Life still throws challenges. You will be ready for them.

You take care of yourself. Sounds like you are doing the right things. Glad you have pets to share your time with. I love my cat and dog.

Kindly
Lainey

 

If it creates inner conflict for you then it increases TMS.
Try to notice that it’s fear doing this. Then try to catch the thoughts that feed that fear. That’s not reality. If you don’t tell anybody, then you are the only one even aware. It’s mind fiction.

Then notice what you cling to bc of the fear and thoughts. Can you realistically control those circumstances or make that object last forever? Of course not.
We get to make the best of whatever our circumstances are.

 

Tms_Joe said: "...That’s not reality...."


Here's the part I don't get:

If I'm afraid of, say, public speaking, and come down with aches, pains, migraine, backache before a talk, because I'm afraid of being up in front of a crowd, vulnerable, exposed then yes. In fact, that fear is NOT based in reality. The audience is not going to laugh hysterically at me, mob the stage and beat me up, or lynch me. It is possible to say, "That's not reality," and believe it in my head even if I don't in my gut.

But today, in the time of COVID, our fears ARE REAL. If you are exposed to someone who has the virus, you can catch it and you can get very sick or even die. How does the "That's not reality" self-talk work on that???

Yes, sitting in my home, alone, I'm safe. But I went to the grocery store this morning. I was careful. I wore a mask. Everyone else wore a mask. Am I okay? I think so, but I won't know for sure for a couple of weeks. The fear the whole world is living with right now is REAL. It's not phobic or neurotic. It is reality-based.

Yes, this real pandemic can still be using our thoughts and brain functions to cause TMS/MBS pain-- no question about that. But to use "That's not reality" as the theme of self-talk doesn't work when there is a real, factual, documented basis in the fear.

The pre-COVID TMS/MBS literature only goes so far now. Back when our fears were either not reality-based ("public-speaking isn't inherently physically dangerous"), or at least exaggerated ("I have a headache, but it's probably not a stroke"), fine and dandy-- talk yourself out of them. But COVID was a game-changer.

Our lives are now potentially in danger from heretofore completely innocent events. And don't give me, "There are no guarantees in life. You could have walked out the door any time and been hit by a bus." Things are different now. And will be for the foreseeable future.

Can somebody here please sort this out for me?

 

The fear in any case is an emotion inside of you. Sure, it really is an emotion.


Reality is real events happening. What goes on in your head is not reality. More like a dream.

You are NOT your thoughts. You should not get invested in your thoughts. They are NOT important. If you can just believe those statements you are free of the fear.

 

I can easily refrain from believing the thought, "Speaking before a crowd is life-threatening." Even if my gut believes that, my head knows it's not true.

How do I refrain from believing, "My precautions against COVID will not be sufficient to keep me from getting sick"?

I guess what I'm getting at is I see a HUGE difference between thoughts about things that either aren't really dangerous or are very remote possibilities v. thoughts about things that are clear and present dangers and should be taken into consideration every day.

I'm truly not trying to be difficult. I'm a big fan of Byron Katie ("Don't believe your thoughts"), but to me that applies most when those thoughts are really just opinions and not fact-based.

I do so want to grok this!

 

NONE of the thoughts have importance. NONE. Have the courage to ignore them and face situations/problems as they occur.

You said it. Your gut has it right, and your mind is wrong. Stop listening to the one that is wrong.

I couldn’t just take someone’s word for it either. That humbling feeling of dropping 100% of your current theory for no more suffering is the first gut punch you take toward getting better.

 

You just do the best you can and try not to worry about the stuff you can't predict or control. Embrace life.

 

I am in the same boat.

Frontline worker here in NYC, seat of the worst COVID-19 the world has seen, at one time. I've lost friends and colleagues to the virus.

I am just trying to hold on. It's not much but it is what it is.

I feel like all I do is scrounge around online for PPE.

 

Hi Shanshu Vampyr,

Sending you the best wishes and support. Your situation sounds very tough ---and depressing. I'm sorry.

You're in the business, so you've probably seen some prophylaxis ideas. Here is an updated (they say regularly) list for prevention and treatment. The beginning has the "prophylaxis" list. BID means 2 times per day.

https://www.evms.edu/media/evms_pub...cine/EVMS_Critical_Care_COVID-19_Protocol.pdf

Safe to add exercise, sleep, and hot and cold contrasting showers ---all thought to increase immune function.

Andy

 

Thanks so much for that.

 

Thank you so much, SV, for posting in this thread. I can't even imagine doing the work you're doing. My heart is breaking for the losses, the stress, the sights that you have seen and will go on seeing.

The magnitude of This Thing that has the whole world in its grip is impossible to fathom. Where before we sat with our private anxiety and our private pain, now any place we look, we see someone else in physical and emotional pain. My leg still hurts every day when I walk... and I still practice TMS/MBS methods and sometimes it goes away for a while. But wait five minutes and there's another source of fear, rage, despair, anxiety, and hopelessness waiting to pounce.

 

Thank you. I didn’t mean to hijack this thread from OP at all.

I just mean, to OP: I don’t think anyone has this pandemic all figured out. I think all of us are making it up as we go along, and just trying to take it one moment at a time.

it WILL get better. Some day.