Still fighting TMS, but will beat it

I was encouraged by my practitioner, Daniel Lyman, to finally post a success story here 'cos he felt that I was at a stage of my recovery that I could be called a 'success'. I think that in itself speaks volumes as to how far I've come along my TMS journey. My pain has not gone away 100% but I am confident that I will beat TMS completely.

I'm a 22 year male working in Mumbai, India, though I'm originally from Delhi. At the end of March this year, I suddenly come home one day with a shooting pain in my left hip. I could barely walk, and the pain remained for a few days. Ever since then, I've had a lingering pain in my left hip/thigh which used to shoot down my leg like a nervous shock every time I sat up after sitting for prolonged periods. My life completely changed. I stopped exercising (which I used to love), was afraid of driving (again something I loved) and my general physical activity was reduced by a considerable degree.

I saw 3-4 different doctors, all of whom concluded that I had a slipped disc based on my MRI. What I found amusing was that all the doctors had different treatments to treat the same 'disease'. One doctor put me on complete bed rest for a month. One told me that I should start strengthening exercises immediately. One particular doctor even told me that 'Indian bodies' are not made for physical exercise and I would never be able to run, lift weights or play sports my entire life (talk about creating fear of the disease!). I found all these consultations extremely disheartening. I was also embarrassed to tell people that I had a slipped disc lest I get shocked looks from people saying how fragile my body was and how I could suffer from back problems at this age (this includes members of my family).

I started following silly rituals such as carrying a pillow with me everywhere so I could sit on it whenever I was taking a cab or working in office. I eventually realized after 4 months that my back had not improved at all. It was while I was doing research in my job that I came across Sarno's book. I subsequently read it, and I was left amazed. I could, as they say, 'see myself on every page'. I could completely identify myself with the pain symptoms and the personality types mentioned in the book. Most of all, the book offered me hope to get rid of my pain. I came across the TMS Wiki and contacted Daniel for some Skype sessions (I could not find a TMS therapist in Mumbai).

It's been 2 months since I have been taking sessions with Daniel, and I can safely say that my symptoms have reduced dramatically. The signature 'shooting pain after sitting' has almost completely gone, and I have resumed moderate amounts of exercise. The fear of further harming my back has disappeared from my mind. There is a small amount of lingering pain left in my leg, and there are certain movements that I am still unable to do (such as bending forward with my knees straight). But I am absolutely confident that as time goes by, and I increase the intensity of my exercises, the pain will completely go and I can resume a pain free life. I have also discovered that my neck has been showing symptoms of TMS for over 6 years (I've been suffering from chronic neck stiffness and occasional cervical pain for years). I remain confident that as I work with Daniel and on my psychology, I can beat this, and be completely pain free for the first time in my life.

For those fighting TMS (which includes me), the best advice I can give is to face your fears and your beliefs.
For my back, it was getting rid of the pillow that I carried around (which my first significant step), doing exercise without the worry that it might make my back worse, and resuming a normal life, as much as possible. Take deep breaths and live in complete confidence that your body is fine, and you will get better.

Society and modern day medicine have imparted beliefs in our minds that we may not even be aware of. Take an objective view of them, and you will find that it's these beliefs that are stopping you from getting better. Think about them, write about them and talk about them, and gradually, your pain will start to go away (the lingering pain in my leg has just about completely gone as I type this success story!).

While I continue to fight TMS, what I would like to emphasize is that I now view TMS as a gift. A signal from the universe. I came across Dr Sarno randomly while I was doing research for my job. Dr Sarno specifically spoke about an American journalist called Tony Schwartz in his book, who vouches for Dr Sarno's methods. Whose book was I reading just before I discovered Sarno? Tony Schwartz. A coincidence? We will in a funny world.

The process of dealing with TMS has taught me a lot about myself - my belief systems, how I truly feel towards certain people/situations in my life, how to deal with things in an emotionally healthy way, how to 'loosen up' (as Daniel would put it) and most importantly, how I let fears control my life, and how I can confront them. TMS was a signal that I was shutting down things in my head, hiding from them and that it is now my job to deal with them. TMS has also made me truly appreciate good health, and having a pain free body. I cannot wait to get healthy, start exercising and pushing my ‘Indian body’ to do things that it is not meant to be doing!

A big person thanks to Daniel and everyone part of the TMS community. As Dr. Sarno said, "Knowledge is the penicillin for this disorder." As the community grows bigger, so will our ability to fight TMS. I can only hope that modern medicine eventually accepts the TMS diagnosis, and thousands of people can recover from pain and live healthy, pain free lives.

 

Hi, Abhishek, You really have the total, puree TMS knowledge. It not only heals our pain but starts us off
on a wonderful journey of understanding ourselves and others better, and living in peace in harmony with
ourselves and others. Yes, TMS knowledge is a fantastic gift. Keep up the good work and you will heal.

 

I am extremely proud of the work you have done Abhishek, and I want to thank you for writing your story. You've worked hard in a (relatively) short amount of time to get where you are, and I hope you are proud of that. As you state in your story, with continued work, I have a full confidence you will 100% be free of pain.

 

What an inspiring story! It poignantly illustrates the process of recovery.

Hats off to you, Abhishek. It takes tremendous courage and fortitude to do this work and you seem to be doing it with grace and humility.

All the best!

 

That's wonderful to hear, Abhishek. You're confronting the fear head on, and the symptoms are on the run. Keep up the good work.

Alan

 

Thank you for sharing your story, Abhishek, it will be a beacon of hope for many. Great work, you have so very much to be proud of!

 

Hi, Amber Murphy. We all appreciate your post and giving encouragement to Abhishek. We all gain
confidence from each other. Good luck to you, too.

 

Very inspiring...thanks for sharing!

 

Wow, looky here! A fantastic success story and then all these wonderful therapists chiming in too. Warms my heart totally. Abhishex, thank you for sharing your successes with us!

 

It heartens us all to read such a wonderful success story, Abisheck.

I had some anger this morning, from the computer and other things,
and after a few moments, I laughed and laughed. The anger went away.

 

Hi very inspiring story abhishek and very happy to hear that you are from bombay we belong to same city. I have been living in usa from last 10 years. From last 2 years suffering from tms and made progress too.... but still on a way.... hoping that one day will come in my life without any fear and pain...... be positive and stay healthy......

 

awesome stuff, so is Daniel liaising via Skye/email? amazing stuff. shows that the knowledge of the process alone is incredibly powerful!

 

Shabaash Abhishek.! And thx for sharing yr story.

 

Yes, Abhishek and I have worked over Skype/Facetime.

 

Hi Abhishek, awesome story abhishek..me too from India..nice to see you here in this forum...

 

Just an update on this, can't believe it's already been a year since this post.

I have 100% recovery from my back/thigh pain for the past few months (more than 3-4 months at least). I've been regularly gyming and performing squats, deadlifts etc for the past 4 months. The neck stiffness still lingers, but I've seen improvements in that as well.

Thanks to Daniel and the TMS community.

 

Truly inspired reading your story because you are very wise beyond your years. Congratulations on this gift. You are right, and you put how I have been feeling about tms into words.