The Presence Process - Share Experiences & Ask Questions

I'm sure you're right Walt. But that was exactly why I was saying the Presence Process has been so helpful to me. It doesn't matter if it's structural or not. Basically, if it hurts, then there is stuck energy and emotion. It has made it easy for me to now always go straight to psychological. Or more specifically, in TPP it is remaining focused on the pure emotion without going into the "story" behind it. Glad you got the book, I hope you find it useful.

 

My book publisher boss must be multiple. He really is nuts, multiplied by a ten or a hundred.
He's a pathological liar, for one thing.
Knowing that, I can cope with him. It isn't easy, but if I laugh about him, it helps.

 

Yay! Ive just finished my first ten weeks
I have to say, the Presence Process seems to have moved me along farther than all the (many) other TMS things I have tried. I highly recommend it, especially for those who have suffered from doubt about whether or not the pain is really TMS.
Cheers, Terry

 

I'm glad to hear you have found the Presence Process so great.
I just got a copy of the book by Michale Brown and will start reading it.

 

EXCELLENT Q&A RESOURCE FOR THE PRESENCE PROCESS <--- (Link)

I was on The Presence Portal and found out there's a free Word.doc that addresses, in great detail, the most commonly-asked questions about The Presence Process. It's a 132 page e-book of Q & A for free.

The Table of Contents has the questions. The questions are split into:

Questions Before Entering the Presence Process
Questions Asked During the Presence Process
Questions Asked After Completing the Presence Process

The first section of the e-book covers what the Presence Process is and just some preliminary information some might find interesting.

I've read through part of the Table of Contents and I've already found at least two questions I've been wondering about.

I placed a link at the top of this post, because I don't think you can get to this on the website for some reason. But I found it with the following Google search: "being our companion" the presence portal

Hope this is helpful!

 

Awesome! That's great news! Your ears must have been burning, because I was posting at the same time you were.

Are you waiting the recommended 3 weeks before you start another Presence Process, or do you think you'll wait longer?

I start Week 5 tomorrow and I'm finding the second time through the process interesting and powerful. I was thinking I was 6 weeks ahead of you, but apparently I'm seven weeks ahead. I'm glad I started after the recommended 3-week break. Being on week 4 has been great. I'll post about it next.

 

UPDATE: WEEK 4 (Second Presence Process)

I'm finishing Week 4 of my second Presence Process today. During my first Presence Process, I didn't discover what my unconscious definition of love was. I'm not surprised, because I was still suppressing emotions with my pornography addiction. As recommended by TPP, I'm dealing with my addiction during this second Presence Process.

This morning, I discovered my unconscious definition of love. My father was always keeping busy, because kids stressed him out. He didn't want to get upset with us if he could help it, so he avoided instead. He didn't realize that's what he was doing. But I'm glad he did avoid instead of getting angry all the time. It taught me to learn how to do things on my own, which made me a very critical thinker with a lot of diverse skills.

However, that emotional signature was naturally passed down to me while in the womb.

The emotional signature is this: "I am a burden."

What I understood today was that my father felt he would be a burden if he engaged the family and got angry all the time as a result. He hated getting angry, but he got angry repeatedly, every time my sister threw fits. She did it often. And he would spank her for it. I assumed, when I was a baby, that I was a burden. I know this because I my mother says I was the best baby ever, always quiet, always easy to take care of. Psychologists will tell you that that means I repressed everything in order to be a people pleaser. I was trying to please my parents so that I wasn't a burden to them, and so I didn't get spanked. I repressed the authentic me (the real me), because I thought the authentic me was a burden. My mother also feels like a burden, so I got a double dose of that emotional signature. I likely could tell that I was a stressor to my mother when I was a baby, so I chose to repress in order to not be a burden to her.

When I was 22, I tried to kill myself because I felt like I was a burden to my parents and others (stress caused me not to eat or sleep for two weeks, which caused me not to be able to think straight--then I tried to kill myself). That was about 7 years after I had the same issue with not being able to sleep due to stress (the 7 Year Cycle).

There's a clear pattern of feeling like a burden in my family. And a pattern of taking care of others to make up for that feeling of being burdensome.

I married a woman who was very self-sufficient and capable. A woman who would not be a burden to me. I didn't exactly understand that's part of what attracted me to her, but back then, I wondered if that was part of why I was attracted to her. In other words, my unconscious definition of love is someone who isn't a burden to me and to whom I don't feel like a burden (or someone who will repress that and not tell me).

THE FELT RESONANCE
When I realized my unconscious definition of love this morning, the emotion came up, and I was able to cry for a bit. I felt it in my intestines.

Before lunch, I did my one-on-one session, allowing that emotion to come up again. At that time, I felt it within my eyes and nasal cavity, like a triangle. I developed bad vision when I was young (my eyes changed color around that time, too). I've always had allergies (sinus problems). And I developed digestive problems eventually that keep me from sleeping well from 3am-6am. All of the felt resonances I just mentioned happened in those areas. And for those who haven't read the other Presence Process thread, I mentioned that when I get angry, I often feel it in the center of my head, radiating out on a flat plain to my eyes, nose, and ears. I also have a slight hearing problem that runs in my family. When I can't hold that anger emotion, and my heart tries to stuff it, I feel the tingling anger in my head shoot directly to my nasal cavity, and I immediately sneeze a few times, and my sinuses go crazy. My son, or kids I'm responsible for, seem to trigger this. I discovered that during my first Presence Process. I was unable to feel all of that happening before the Presence Process.

Very cool insights. I'm very pleased.

 

Also, my desire to do my addiction has pretty much fallen away. I haven't done it for around 9 days now. And I'm much more engaged in my life.

On another note: I reported a week or so ago that I could tell my ability to feel emotions had gone back to being somewhat suppressed again, as if my heart were bracing for the impact of the emotions my addiction was covering up. My heart must be feeling safer now, because I'm currently feeling things a bit more strongly, closer to how I was feeling them after my first Presence Process.

I'm really enjoying this experience. I really enjoyed feeling the felt resonance of the emotional signature of burden. It wasn't exactly painful, but I knew for sure that it had been there my entire life and I'd just suppressed my ability to feel it, early on.

 

Awesome!

 

Thanks for the Q&A link, Brian. Wow, lots to read. Reading has been a challenge for me over the last year or two. This is one of my TMS equivalents. My mind drifts, constantly distracted. Like Brown says, I'm living in the past and future. Really need to get back to the present. I had a chance encounter today with someone from a mindfulness meditation class I took last year. I was invited to join a regular group in my town so we could encourage one another in our practice.

Did you guys read the book from start to finish before beginning Week 1? I'm slowly creeping through the pages in the first section in my own scatty, distracted way.

 

I was same way when I read The Presence Process the first and second times. My mind would wander a lot, so it took me a long time to read it. However, I had lots of time, so I spent much of the days getting through the book slowly. When I'm learning something new, I like to process what I'm reading, so I read slower for that purpose, too. Also, Michael Brown has an old writing style that's difficult to read and understand easily. I've heard many complaints about it. So, it's not just you.

Yes, I read the book all the way through before I started the process. That's what's recommended to prepare a person.

 

Hi Brian, I'm in the middle of my break but will definitely start up again after the three week break. It sounds like you are making amazing progress again the second time around. It's awesome how many insights you are getting, and how aware you are now of the felt resonance in your body.

It's been interesting timing for me as the break coincided with visiting family in the US. I'm definitely way less reactive and believe me, they are definite button pushers.

Yb44 I started doing the process pretty much the day I got the book. This was desperation as I've done a lot of other TMS stuff. I've pretty much cleared allergies and asthma but still have sciatic pain. I have to say however that it's a great process anyway; I've really increased awareness and am allowing a much greater depth of emotion now. I'm definitely freer and happier so I'm not complaining!

 

Tarala,

I'm so glad to hear you started immediately when you got the book. I haven't heard of anyone doing that, but I was wondering if anyone had. That's great!

 

I'm not sure if I mentioned it, but I recognized another facet of my unconscious definition of love. Someone who will spend time with me and take care of me. Also, I must take care of someone, too.

In other words, I refuse to fully care for myself, so I need someone to care for me enough to account for what I'm not doing myself. And since I'm not taking care of myself, I use that energy to take care of someone else. That makes me feel like I'm worth something.

That one hit me earlier today when I asked "How does this burden mentality make me feel emotionally and on the felt-resonance level?" Immediately, a feeling arose in my gut, and I knew it was helplessness (victim mentality).

It's interesting...I have tons of things popping up all at once to stress me out, and yet I'm handling it all pretty easily, in the moment. I think it's my burden emotional signature manifesting everything that makes me feel like a burden so I can deal with this emotion constantly for a while. Pretty cool stuff.

 

UPDATE: WEEK 5

I discovered that I feel I'm a burden in Week 4, which means I had to be inauthentic as a kid so as not to be a burden. To me, that meant I was a liar, because I chose to be fake/manipulative. Anything inauthentic is manipulative in some way, because it seeks to manipulate the situation for a desired outcome. So, I shamed myself as a kid, subconsciously, for using this manipulation as my defense mechanism. That meant it was my fault.

So, it was interesting when I opened the book to start Week 5 and immediately started crying when I saw the conscious response "I am innocent." That's awesome that I'm finally integrating my shame and unconscious definition of love.

The Presence Process says people around us will start unconsciously processing things we're processing consciously, because we're all connected. 2 days ago, my best friend had these major grief emotions and images of his parents' deaths. His mom died 7 years ago, and his dad died 7 years befofe that (7 year cycle). The images brought back feelings of abandonment from childhood, I'm guessing. He went to the hospital with irregular heart issues. He's very healthy, though. So it's completely emotional.

I don't know for certain that my processing had something to do with it, but it makes sense, because I'm also processing abandonment and fear as a child right now--fear of not being taken care of emotionally. And it happened in my presence, too (not sure that matters, though--could've just been his 7 year cycle). Either way, it's bizarre!

 

BEING OUR COMPANION book on The Presence Portal

In an earlier post, I addressed the Being Our Companion book on the Presence Portal website. I've been reading through it. It gives tons of information and even more procedural information that's useful.

For instance, it says that once you've done two 10-week Presence Processes, you should continue to submerge yourself in warm water for 3-6 months with the intent to activate emotional growth. To be clear, I said "activate," not "develop." Apparently, after you've activated it, then you are ready to start developing it.

Also, the book mentions a more intense Presence Process, but it warns not to do it unless you have someone with you or you have a lot of experience with the process. It's because you can easily cramp up in the water and have a lot painful bodily sensations come up while you do it. If someone's with you, than can ensure you don't slip under the water and breathe it in accidentally, I suppose. I'm not certain, though. The more intensive version requires that you do a one-hour breathing session to activate each week, and you do a one-hour water at the beginnings of weeks 7-10 (but you add connected breathing with it, and you make the water hot instead of just warm), and you submerge yourself in water at least once or twice a week throughout each of those weeks.

The book talked about other procedural things that can be done after a person's completed the process a couple of times, but I didn't get that far in the book yet. Lots of interesting information.

Personally, I think I may increase my breathing time at the beginning of each week, and as for the baths, I was already using hot water, because it worked much better. And I was already partly breathing during those sessions. I plan to just stay in the water a little longer than 15 minutes until I find a comfortable time to stay in it. Maybe when I'm more experienced, I'll do it longer, but for now, I better take the advice of the book and not attempt hour-long sessions without someone present.

 

Thanks for that Brian, it's great to know there is more to come. I'm in the middle of my first break at the moment. Rather than feeling like I'm integrating things I just feel like the whole process is grinding to a halt. I'm still doing the meditation but have been pretty slack about the evening ones. But then, I have been traveling so that might make a difference. I can't wait to start the second one.

 

I wasn't consciously integrating anything during my three-week break. And during that time, I think all the breathing was doing was accumulating more present moment awareness. That alone will help pull past issues into the present to be processed when necessary. During the process, I was basically asking Presence/God to bring things into my experience to integrate, so I expected things to trigger me regularly. But when on a break, I'm not in a process of asking Presence to trigger me, so I don't expect to be integrating much of anything. It's a time of relaxing and unwinding from all I've experienced. It's a time to live in a bit of this new freedom I have. Michael Brown says the Presence Process itself is a tool we pick up and use when we need it, then set it down when we're done with it. That's how I think of the three-week break period--the tool has been set down, so it should seem as though the process has come to a complete halt.

I felt the same slack attitude toward the breathing sessions, but I still tended to them. I might have missed one during the three weeks, but I typically have a way to make up for it somehow later that day. My schedule allows for it, though, so it's pretty easy, usually. If I had a more difficult schedule, I'm sure I'd miss more. In 18 weeks, I've only missed maybe 1 or 2 breathing session that I didn't make up for. If I were traveling, I'm sure I would've missed many more, especially if my schedule were more difficult. So, I'd say what you're experiencing is pretty normal.

I can't wait for you to start your second one either! I always enjoy hearing how other people experience this stuff I'm going through.

 

Michael Brown says it's valid to begin the process without the read through (experiential) and equally valid to read everything first before starting (introductory). I've decided on the read through approach and have just completed reading about Week 2. His writing is hard going at times. I don't stress over whether I get all of it or not. I am still at the thinking stage. I can imagine I will get more once I have some experience of the felt-perception.

I was intrigued by the 7 year cycle concept because one of the turning points in my life happened when I was approximately 6 1/2. It'll be interesting to see what comes up surrounding this event along with many others.

 

I did the read-through first, too. And, like you, I didn't worry about getting it all, especially since his writing is difficult to read. I've seriously considered rewriting the book in an easier-to-read format. lol And you're exactly right--you'll get it a lot more once you're in-process.

TPP mentions the 7 Year Cycle and it mentions people around us unconsciously processing the emotions we're currently consciously processing (in other words, both people process the emotions, but only one knows what's going on--me: the processor). Interesting occurrence in the past two weeks regarding this. I've been processing early childhood stuff--one of my deepest seeded issues, which is that I'm a burden. I've felt that resonance in my chest (anger and/or grief, I think) and in my stomach (shame). My friend Tony and I had somewhat stressful weeks while I'm processing this stuff. All at once, Tony is overwhelmed with these images from his mother's death and his father's death. It causes a weird sensation in Tony's chest that frightens him, so he goes to the hospital. I told him it was probably a stress-induced episode that allowed buried emotions to come out from early childhood--and that the memories caused his fearful child-state to surface. He was told it was stress induced at the hospital and to take it easy. This is all very unusual for Tony. He's never done that. I asked him when his father died. He said 2000. I asked him when his mother died. He said 2007. Seven years apart. I mentioned that it's 2014--exactly seven more years later. The Seven Year Cycle--Presence orchestrating his life to bring out buried emotions he still needs to deal with.

I wasn't sure if the early childhood issue he was processing was the same as mine and triggered by my own processing, or if it was strictly his own seven year cycle activating, or a combination of the two. Very interesting, though, because both the issues we were dealing with relate to feeling abandoned by parents. Tony's father was regularly gone for long periods of time for work, which would build a suppression of abandonment fear in a child, I'm guessing. Abandonment is fearful and angering, both of which manifest in the chest area. The shame resulting is harder to feel and is usually stored in the gut, but can be felt in the face when it surfaces sometimes.

This process never ceases to intrigue me.