The Presence Process - Share Experiences & Ask Questions

Yeah, loving myself was something I hadn't figured out before TPP, nor had I really understood how to do it unconditionally. That's something that helped me more than anything else. Sounds like you understand what's important.

 

Well, Brian, during the first 2 passes I thought I was feeling something. But the third time made me realize I was just going through the motions to follow the program (old strategy for evading parental criticism by being 'perfect'?). The third time however I starting feeling Presence moving through my body. Mental chatter started to cease too. Quck learners/Slow learners. Have always had to do everything the hard way, as my late father was so fond of pointing out!

 

Not so much a slow learner as a cautious heart. My heart's slow about certain things, too. Good job hanging in there so long. Glad it's paying off for you now.

 

I'm in the 9th week of my second round and I'm hitting the I love myself unconditionally wall. Because all the ways in which I don't love myself are coming up with a vengeance . It's brutal and I'm barely hanging in there

 

I have done MBSR and I can vouch for the fact that it skims over emotional integration. TPP us like Mindfulness in steroids

 

What sort of time commitment is involved in this program/process?

 

I've yet to have an integration and I'm in week 5 of my 2nd presence process. The only thing I really feel is tingling sensations in my hands and legs, and sometimes sensations in my stomach. It's the same feeling I get when I have anxiety, or in PP terms, fear. Maybe I have a cautious heart too? lol. Thoughts, Brian?

I realize everything I experience is valid, and I can't rush this, but man I'd like to feel something.

 

Hi
I have just started with the process and had few questions if anyone could help. First are we suppose to breath with our chest or stomach
I suppose deep breathing happens with belly breathing but fast breathing happens with chest. Second I had tried rebirthing technique before. How is this different. Since I am getting same kind of vibrations in my body during breathing.

 

coconanna, Michael speaks of his experience with rebirthing at the 1:24 mark here http://www.blogtalkradio.com/drfrankmurphy/2010/05/12/an-hour-with-the-author-of-the-presence-process-mi (An Interview with Michael Brown, Author of "The Presence Process")

 

Hi Brian,
I just started week 1 of the presence process and I am already really beating myself up over how extremely difficult it is for me to do the conscious breathing exercises for 15 minutes. I am only in day 3 and it seems like I can do one 15 minute session a day fairly well, but then the second 1 is very difficult. I have a hard time doing the breathing, and I don't think I do it correctly because I am deaf and cannot hear my breathing like the book suggests. Also I get a lot of body discomfort, which I read in the book I need to try to go through that by just being with it but it become impossible to just sit for 15 minutes. I wish I could have started out doing like 5 minutes and build up because 15 minutes is a lifetime to me. I am already feeling very defeated and want to stop and return to this at some point in the future. The breathing is very different than meditation practices I have had in the past it seems and I am kind of at a loss. I felt so good on the first day and it seemed like it was going to be an awesome journey, but now I just feel discouraged and disappointed in myself regarding how hard it is to do the conscious breathing exercises. If you or anyone here have any suggestions, I am all ears (even though I am deaf).
Best regards!
John

 

Hi, Emcee! I am so sorry I haven't responded to you. This forum hasn't emailed me to let me know there are posts in this thread like it's supposed to. It does that every once in a while and many questions go unanswered for a while. So, I apologize for that.

I hope you're still doing TPP. If not, I encourage you to try again. If you hit the I love myself barrier, that's great! It means the process is working exactly like it's supposed to. It's showing you your wall and saying, "Alright, you're ready to start breaking through this." All you have to do is be with the feelings without judging them. You simply accept them unconditionally and give them your unconditional attention. They can feel awful at first, but once you really understand that they're just emotions and they can't hurt you, it helps a ton. I look at them as if they're little children--parts of me who's growth was stunted due to a lack of unconditional love growing up during some unfortunate situations. All they need to mature (integrate) is unconditional love, the love they didn't get growing up. I give that to them. I even picture them in my head and I speak to them. I also let them speak to me (in other words, I basically try to embody the emotions they're feeling and I take their place and speak whatever fits with the feelings. Maybe something like, "I'm such a screw up. I hate myself! I can't believe I did that." Or whatever. I'm basically speaking to the more mature me. So then I'll switch back to the mature me and just be extremely thankful for that part of myself and tell it that. I let it know it's never made a wrong step in life and it did exactly what it was supposed to and that all of that was required for it to learn and grow. It was helping me learn and grow, too. So I basically become the parent it never had who knows how to love it properly. I develop a fondness for those parts of myself. It's very gratifying to love them until they integrate into the soft part of my heart (I look at them as my ego, which is the hard part of my heart that hasn't matured yet and still operates in fear rather than unconditional love).

So you're doing great! Always remember that when you meet resistance, you're doing the method correctly and all that's required is that you keep going and keep showing that part of yourself unconditional love. Disidentify with that part of yourself. Don't think of it as you. It's not the essential you. It's just an immature part of your heart, is all. And when it integrates, it'll be a mature part of your heart. But the essential you, that's something that never changes and is always perfect. Never doubt that. Life and religion and other sources always tell us that there's something wrong with us. That's quite the opposite of what near-death experiences tell us and what the Bible tells us (if you ascribe to that belief system). Our translations are just very crappy, as well as some of Christianity's major doctrines. But really, this doesn't have to be about religion, even though religion influences us deeply in the area of love. It has to do with us loving our self unconditionally, and continuing to do so. It's really that simple. Just drop all of your standards of right and wrong, good and bad, and all of the judgments that go along with those standards. What you're left with is no ability to judge yourself, and therefore, no reason to not love yourself unconditionally. And when you feel wonderful as a result of loving yourself unconditionally, you typically act far more loving toward others. It's a cure-all, in the long run.

Feel free to ask questions any time.

- Brian

 

Emcee, the time commitment is about 20 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes in the evening. It's about 35 minutes in the morning or evening (best if done in the morning) when you hit week 7 but that's only for one day a week (because of the bath session). Those are valuable. It's well worth it.

 

Perfect! Yeah, that fear you feel is a very good thing. Some people take 2 or 3 PPs to start really feeling and integrating the stuff. Bruce, I think it was, went through 3 PPs and that's when his first integration happened. Sometimes, the layers are so deep, it just takes a while to get to them. But once you get to them and start integrating, it's pretty cool. It's a game changer, because you break through your fear of feeling and start to experience feelings in a new way. Makes life really interesting. Sounds like you're doing everything the right way, man (from what little you described). It'll just take patience. If you're a doer, it could take longer. What I mean by that is, if you get your self-worth by accomplishing things and you always need to be doing something or you get anxious or bored, then it could take longer than usually, possibly. I guess the opposite could be true, too. LOL Oh, well. Anyway, stick with it and you'll get to a point of integration eventually with some of the fear. Just be sure to feel those feelings and enjoy them. Look at them as teachers and friends. Embrace them as children of yours who've been hurt in the past and you're their new parent and protector. As you love them unconditionally, they'll eventually integrate. Since people's pasts are different, the time it takes to start integrating is different for each person. You'll get there, though. Props for hanging in there this long with no integrations! That's impressive!

- Brian

 

Coconanna,

So sorry for the slow response. This forum wasn't alerting me to new replies for the past 4 months. That happens every once in a while, unfortunately.

I don't know anything about rebirthing, so I can't tell you the difference, but I can take a guess at it. I'd guess that the differences are going to be your intention and your application of unconditional love. Your intention in TPP is to integrate dysfunctioning emotions that are stuck in your body, and you do that through feeling them without judgment and by showing them unconditional love (which means unconditional acceptance and unconditional attention--I add fondness to that, too). If you read my last few responses above, I talk about looking at those parts of yourself as little kids).

Did that answer your question? If you like, you can tell me how rebirthing works and I can try to point out the differences.

- Brian

 

John,

I sounds like you're doing it exactly right! If you're feeling those emotions, it means those are the emotions that are stuck, unintegrated. That's perfect! Well done!

All you have to do is sit with them and enjoy them. Just feel them and don't judge them. Accept them unconditionally and give them your unconditional attention. If you feel disappointed and discouraged, that's excellent! It means that process it working! It means that those are emotions you've repressed and had trapped for a while and they're surfacing to be loved so they can integrate. Read my last few posts I just posted. They'll give you some information about those things. However, when you're doing the breathing, you don't worry about those emotions. You just focus on the breathing unless you need to cry. If you don't need to cry, wait till the breathing is done, and then address the feelings with love like I spoke about in a previous post today. Feel your way through it and decide what works best for you in those situations.

When it comes to not being able to hear your breath, don't worry about that. Just feel your stomach going in and out. I tried it with no audible breath release this morning and it worked perfectly. You're doing it correctly, don't worry. Those discouraging feelings are exactly what should be coming up. Those are what you want to surface. Keep it up! You're doing it perfectly!

- Brian

 

Stomach breathing is what you want. And you can breathe quickly from the stomach, too. It's just a matter of getting used to pulling air from there instead of the chest. It's not hard at all once you get used to feeling how it feels.

 

Brian,
I was not really sure how this forum works. I just wanted to reply to you but it seems like I do that for the whole forum. I am fine with that. I just really wanted to thank you for your attention to my question, and your kindness in your response. It was extremely valid and helpful to me as I was wanting to pack it in and just quit with the PP, and your response helped me to recommit to the PP. I was able to sit this morning and attend to my breathing consciously following your suggestions and it went so much better than last night when I wrote my question to you. Thank you again for your response. I am so grateful for your help.
John

 

That's so good to hear! Can't wait to hear more about your experiences as you continue with the process. It's always intriguing to hear what others experience. Good luck!

- Brian

 

Hi Brian. Happy Monday! I am starting week 2 of PP today. Week 1 was very meaningful for me, especially after you gave your excellent feedback, so thank you again for that. I have been following the instructions from the book as best as I can. It seems like I use the conscious response for my breath work in both 15 minute sessions each day to, "I Am Here Now in This." Is that correct. I just read that in the book, but one of my tendencies I've yet to integrate is perfectionism, and even though I just read that in the book, my brain wants to make the instructions more difficult than they are, and they seem pretty straight forward to me. Hope you are doing well, and thanks in advance for any feedback on this question you may have.
John

 

Hi John. It sounds like you're doing it exactly like the book says. That's the way I do it.

I'm glad to hear everything's going well now. I'd say the first week or two seems to be the hardest part. It's new and all of the uncomfortable emotions that don't want you to do it are coming up because they don't like sitting still doing nothing. But once you commit and prove to yourself that you can do it, it seems to integrate those issues or at least silence them for a while.

Good luck, and I look forward to hearing more about your experience.