Things that communicate danger to my brain

I made a list of the things that I'm still doing on a regular basis, that I think are threatening and increase symptoms. I'm quite sad and distraught that I'm still doing this after months of knowing that fear is what keeps the symptoms going. It's a pretty overwhelming list too....wanted to share this with you guys. Can you relate to this at all, and how did you handle this? I feel quite lonely sometimes dealing with this condition on my own, I have someone helping me once a week but I thought maybe it would help to connect with others who are experiencing the same thing, so I decided to post on this community. thanks. T

-Believing that I'm seriously ill
-Confusion about my healing/treatment approach (lack of consistency with the safety)
-Trying too hard to be indifferent or not be preoccupied with symptoms
-Pushing myself way past my limit, physically or mentally
-Trying to heal quickly
-Leaning into negative thoughts and feelings about the TMS - leads to freak out and fear
-Being overly focused about fixing the TMS, the intensity of how hard I try. Burning myself out and distressing over how to fix (there is nothing to fix).
-Beating the crap out of myself (self criticism)

 

Hello! Thank you for sharing!
First off I absolutely relate to so much that you experience. Every one of the behaviors and thoughts you listed I have experienced and I'm sure will experience at some time again.
After years of daily pain, i am pretty much pain free, but I don't overly focus on it . I'm grateful daily though. I still deal with obsessive thoughts and behaviors but I'm aware of what is going on, it's TMS shape shifting. Ive gathered tools now that help and I'll do my best to share what's helped me. Before pain entered my life, I was not aware of much about myself.
You are right where you should be. It's a process for sure and it's kind of odd how one day things that feel foreign start to feel familiar and start to click for you. I had to loosen my grip on life. I had to loosen my grip on everything and stop hyper focusing and obsessing on my "healing." Easier said than done, I know. But keep at it. Alan Gordan's Somatic tracking was a game changer for me. He has a 21 day program on the home page and it's at no cost. I believe it's called "Pain Program." It's excellent and it helped me a lot.
Things that help me a lot are things that calm my nervous system.

- Meditation
- ASMR videos on YouTube
- Walks
- Really hot baths
- Coloring, painting, drawing
- Cardio exercise
- Somatic Tracking
- Learning to feel my emotions and not repress them. (Somatic tracking is also great for this!)
- Do what I was going to do that day. Not let pain win. But also know when enough is enough and when to pamper myself.
- A routine, consistency and making sure to eat and drink water even if I have anxiety.
- Massage my dogs and get lost in them and outside of myself
- Read self help books. They're positive and have lots of good information. Eat the meat and spit out the bones. You'll find what works for you over time. That's why it can't be rushed. I'm still learning so much. It's an on going relationship with yourself.

When I was experiencing a lot of what you are right now, I'd get scared i wasn't going to get it like others. I felt overwhelmed with all this new knowledge and how to apply it to my life. One day at a time and you're definitely growing even though it feels messy right now. You'll learn how to be there for yourself and how you operate. That's what you're learning right now. That's why you're aware of the obstacles because you're paying attention. Keep asking questions and keep reaching out. I will list books that changed things for me.

- "When the body says no." Dr. Gabor Mate
- "In the realm of hungry ghosts." Dr. Gabor Mate
- "The great pain Deception." Steve Ozanich
- "Life after pain." Dr. Jonathan Kuttner

I hope I was able to help in some way and if you have any questions please ask. I'll do my best to share what's worked for me. Best of luck!
N.N.

 

If you're not already watching Dan Buglio on YT (which you probably are with your use of communicating danger, which he calls perceived danger) take a look.