TMS is a trickster!

Wanted to share the story of how TMS played a prank on me. I thought that I knew all about TMS, but, as it turns out, it had more tricks in the hat!

So, this summer I embarked on a big adventure: hiking John Muir Trail in California mountains. I had hiked a portion of it before, but about 160 miles of the entire 211 (or 224 miles, depending on how you measure) I had not covered. I do not want to bore the audience with details, but, in short, it is a strenuous and logistically complex undertaking, and preparation and anticipation of challenges and risks definitely stressed me out a lot!

So, about 4 months prior to the start of the trip, I started experiencing pain in my right foot. I had had this kind of pain in my foot before on and off, but this time around it showed up daily, consistently, and was quite debilitating. As the start of my hike approached, it became obvious that it would not let me walk on a very unforgiving rocky trail with a heavy backpack on my shoulders for 8--10 hours every day. On my training hikes, about couple hours into it, my foot was giving me clear signal: do not go on this John Muir Trail hike, or I will hurt you.

Eventually I decided to pay attention, and went to the chiropractor. She quickly diagnosed plantar fasciitis. Many dollars and many hours of foot and leg exercises later, I finally started on the trail, still very worried about my foot.

Day 1, my foot gave me hell after about 4 hours. Luckily, I had no choice but continue walking, turning around was not an option. Day 2, I was still stretching, massaging and nurturing my foot, but again had to walk another 12 miles. By day 4, my foot stopped complaining and performed beautifully for the remaining 2 weeks.

However, as soon as we got off the trail and hit a stressful situation with something else indirectly related to the hike, my foot started hurting again, as if it was reminding me that I was warned not to do it.

I am so glad that my TMS did not stop me in my tracks, this hike was the most exciting adventure of my life!

 

Yeah. I think anyone who thinks they've 100% resolved all their TMS problems for the rest of their lives, may be in for a rude awakening.

I was free of chronic back pain and tennis elbow for over 10 years. I smugly considered myself a TMS guru extraordinaire. Then came chronic fatigue, combined with a several other symptoms. I was back to sqaure one.

In reality, I'm glad TMS came back. It took my on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth I wouldn't have otherwise taken.

 

Congratulations on your hike, TG957!

I have been tricked several times, most recently a couple of years ago by my back "going out" followed by back pain. Once I realized it was TMS, it went away quickly. Those of us with TMS personalities should always try to rule out TMS when a new symptom appears, though it isn't easy.

 

Ditto! So well said! We are born with TMS personality, and we have it for life, so we need to be always on alert about it. I hope you will be able to overcome your latest bout of TMS. Like you, I had some new soul-searching to do, and to question my understanding of myself.

 

I just PRESUME anything that magically 'appears' IS TMS, and that approach has caused me zero grief over the years. I had a foot issue like this and I didn't even get it diagnosed .After it left, I read the symptoms and it would have been called Plantar Fascitis...felt like I was stepping on a nail every time my foot came down. After careful inspection, I realized it began while my brother and sister were being shitty to one another (I am the 'peacemaker')... I allowed myself to be pissed at both of them and every time I caught myself paying attention to the foot I turned my mind to THEM... "F 'em ..BOTH"...went away in about two hours after 4 or 5 days of hurting.

Re: TG957's post. Anytime there is something coming up in the future, even with a positive connotation ... a game, a vacation, a new job, I always give it a good long inspection. Sarno talked about Anxiety...this inability to be OK with things and needing to know how they are gonna turn out. Our conscious brains are deletion machines. They need to be so we can focus on tasks and problems and endeavors...but with US, we need to dig through the trash sometimes. This story smells soooo familiar.

Every time a new one comes and goes, I get to inspect the chasm between who I Am vs. How I wish I was.

 

Wish we had a great descriptive word for this one, because it's right up there with Goodism and Perfectionism as one of the main traits that hold people back. I see it every day when they obsess over the details of how to proceed with a recovery technique and how to analyze the results - desperately trying to find a narrow and strictly defined path within which they think they can feel safe. Well, I guess it's really just another version of perfectionism, isn't it?

 

Yes, of course, I gave TMS a fair consideration, especially as my foot hurt even when I did not step on it. But none of the tried and tested methods worked, so I decided to go to the chiropractor! The only thing that worked eventually, was to let my foot know that we had to march on, all 160 miles, day after day! Once my unconscious was convinced that there was not much to fear, it stopped screaming at me. Anticipation is usually worse than the actual threat - for us, TMS-ers.

 

Exactly. Not just perfectionism, but obsessive perfectionism! The same applies to those who just can't get on with their recovery unless they find other people who had an exactly same set of symptoms in exactly same places, and recovered.

 

Ditto!

 

Love it!!
Congratulations on your remarkable hike!

That's so great that your beastly brain gave up trying to stop you once it realized that you were unequivocally not turning back. So cool.

Are we allowed to get one pretty photo from the trail?

 

"The inability to be OK with things and needing to know how they are gonna turn out."

Control-freak-ism.

 

[QUOTE="TG957, post: 135767, member: 4263" Anticipation is usually worse than the actual threat - for us, TMS-ers.[/QUOTE]

True-er words were never spoken....

 

I call this needing to know how things will work out, anticipatory anxiety. It can be either a “good” (looking forward to) or bad (dread) anxiety but either way you are trying to suss out the outcome.

 

Thanks, @TG957 I'm actually much better now. But it was a humbling experience.

So now I'm back to being a guru extraordinaire.

 

Hard to pick out of so many, but here are two:

 

That's spectacular, @TG957 Did you say you hiked 160 miles?

 

Oh my!!! Cap'n's word spectacular is spot on. Thank you for sharing. I'm so glad that you didn't let the little TMS beast stop you! That must have been an incredible experience.

 

My list of things that I miss about California is pretty darn short - but the carved granite landscape of the Sierras is on it!

 

Yes, but not in one day :=) !