to cancel or not to cancel? too much thinking

Yes, thanks Leslie and Lilbert. That all makes sense. Baby steps, one day at a time. When my kids were really little, there were many things I could not imagine them ever doing such as going to bed on their own, riding a bike to school or cooking a meal. But when they are ready, you can feel it and there is not a lot of effort involved. I remind myself of that when I think of them driving! I'll know when and if I am ready to let go of the therapies. Acupuncture has helped me in so many ways and I don't really believe it hinders my healing. The physical therapy may be a different story. I am about 60 pounds overweight and have been for years now. My PT tries to motivate me to keep moving and push myself physically. I guess there is a fine line between when that is helpful and when that is just adding more stress and pressure. She wants me to exercise twice a day, at least 5 days a week, 45-60 minutes in the morning and 20 + minutes in the afternoon/evening. I was generally exercising only 30 minutes 4-5 times a week. When she first presented how much she thought I should do a few weeks ago my first thought was "no way, I haven't exercised that much since my 20's" I have found that I can do it and when I do, it builds my confidence and it does help. But I have to make sure I don't use it as an excuse to beat myself up when I don't manage to do it. The last few days my pain levels have been very high and I have been tired. And of course I do feel disappointed in myself that I haven't kept the exercise up the last few days. So tricky, urrrrrrrrrr.... I will try the Structured Ed Program. I am also in the middle of Unlearn Your Pain and I really like Monte Hueftle's The Master Practice. And I am also having therapy with a MBS therapist via skype. It is very encouraging to hear all your stories and it is very comforting to discover I am not some crazy person suffering from one mystery ailment after another for no reason.

 

I liked your comparison with your kids, Anne. To follow up on that, they didn't learn to do all this stuff all at once. So maybe doing the SEP while you're also doing Unlearn Your Pain and Monte Heuftle (if you are doing all that) would be a bit much. I like SEP because when I post on that forum each day, people know what I'm talking about and I get really good feedback.

I would honestly find your PT 's exercise expectations absolutely overwhelming and counterproductive to the TMS work I'm doing right now. Maybe it's because I'm hoping to learn to have more clarity about my own expectations for myself and NOT be disappointed in myself. It's a tough balance when you are trying to follow someone else's ideas about what is right for you. Just something to think about.

 

Lilbert, thank you, I think you are so right about expectations and learning how not to feel disappointed in ourselves. Or in my case just learning how to feel good about myself in general. I have had lots of external success in my life but it has never been enough to enable me to feel good about myself. That's going to take some concentrated practice! Exercise for me usually feels good while I am doing it and always feels great after I have done it but rarely does it sound good beforehand. But to put it in perspective, my husband never exercises and he feels great about himself. He does not have this internal bully to contend with and I am going to do away with that bully somehow.

 

Hi Anne- welcome to the site. I also can't help thinking that your PT is putting too much pressure on you. A long walk everyday with your dog( I take it that the dog in the photo is yours) would perhaps be a better option. Walking also helps with our mood, lifting our spirits. Since my pain started over 3 years ago I have put on about 30 pounds. As much as I hated it I also felt that I didn't want to make my life even more miserable by dieting. However there is a diet that is very popular at the moment in the UK and as it seemed easy I thought why not? Basically you can eat normally 5 days of the week, but on 2 days ( not consecutive days) you restrict to 500 calories (for men it is 600). Weight loss is approx 1lb a week. I am so glad I started it and I figure it also gives my brain something else to think about (on the fast days) other than constantly checking on my pain. My normal obsession!!

 

Thanks Sheree. I have done 10 days fresh juice fasts before and I daily make green smoothies with my blendtec so perhaps I could introduce a day or two a week of fresh fruits and vegetable "fasting". Since this latest chronic pain started about 6 months ago I have been on high alert and crisis mode. Its almost always in the evenings when I fall apart in my eating habits. A brain specialist once told me that this is when our seratonin levels are the lowest and I have often felt I reach for food(and wine) in the evening to wake up my brain and get through taking care of the kids and the stuff I need to do at the end of the day. There is also a big emotional component, I have known this for a long time. In the TMS research I read that eating is also a form of emotional repression and some of the same techniques they recommend for emotional eating(ie: sitting with your emotions) are the same recommended for TMS. So it is all connected and hopefully my TMS work will have the added benefit of helping me with my emotional eating.

 

I wish to unsubscibe to parts therapy as I just get too many em's all day.
I am trying so hard to just concentrate on my lessons. I thank you. How do I do
this?? Nancy