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What else is there - Seriously

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by eskimoeskimo, Aug 7, 2020.

  1. Balsa11

    Balsa11 Well known member

    I suspect the bigger issue might be the depression, but the same advice applies.

    Found this cool quote on the previous tmshelpforum:
    " It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment."
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2021
    TrustIt likes this.
  2. Hillbilly

    Hillbilly Peer Supporter

    You are most welcome. I had no idea people were still reading my posts from years ago. I visited that old forum a few days ago also, but it felt a little like a ghost town. I was so full of piss and vinegar back then.

    Anyway, I am so very glad to hear that I could in some small way help you get back to living life.
    tgirl and RogueWave like this.
  3. tgirl

    tgirl Well known member

    Hillbilly, many people have been reading your old posts, me included, and they have helped with my mindset a great deal. I like your no nonsense approach. Thank you!
    eskimoeskimo, Hillbilly and Balsa11 like this.
  4. Hillbilly

    Hillbilly Peer Supporter

    I think commiting oneself to being or becoming, a self-supportive, responsible adult is the highest goal any of us can attain. I’m still trying to get there.:)
    eskimoeskimo likes this.
  5. Mark1122

    Mark1122 Well known member

    But what if you have tried this. I went back to a job, been here for almost 3 months now. It felt great having a purpose again, a job i love. I started playing guitar, something ive wanted to do a long time but didnt cause of my pains. I started jogging again. I started doing all this without fear and with pain. The pain got worse over time, i didnt care. I felt happy i am doing everything i want. I literally was so happy with all this in my life and i had so much hope this was after a period of sitting on the coach feeling empty and depressed, hopeless.

    But then the pain reaches extreme levels, the exhaustion reaches extreme levels, my heart reacts and does crazy scary things. And then i just dont know how i can keep going. I cant jog anymore, im not even going to explain why im tired of describing why. The only thing i know is i start with full faith and it goes right for a while and i feel great even though in pain. But working behind the pc makes the pain a bit worse everyday till the point im in so much pain, brain fogged, heart shit that i cant keep going and i start to get scared again.

    But first are the worsened symptoms, after comes the fear. Anyway i tried the living my life a couple of times and always reach a point where i just physically cant keep going, it really feels im killing myself by continuing

    Anyway now im depressed again and thinking about leaving my job as i cant continue, also had to stop jogging and stop playing guitar. Took 4 days break from the pc and mobile etc and i feel 50% better already so now i can at least walk outside enjoying nature. Whenever i stop activity, for me pc, mobile and that kind of stuff i start to physically feel better till a certain point. But at least il be able to jog and walk outside again. The only thing is il have nothing in my life and feel like a failure because i cant work etc and have no purpose and in this mode i accept my pain as something i have to live with which feels horrible.

    Now im thinking about going to my doctor to see if there are any tests left to look for something physical..Although i guess what i feel is well described by fibromyalgia with bad heart palpitations triggered by repetitive motions, and i've been reading about it last 2 days which made me feel even worse. And know i shouldn't but im desperate.

    Anyway i tried like others living my life but i don't know how some one can get through this amount of pain and exhaustion, vertigo, heart shit you name it. Like eskimo ive tried many times and the only result is worsened symptoms...

    Sadly ive reached the breaking point again as well..... from 21 to 29 some say the best years of some ones life, well its been hell for me, at least im getting used to it How does it even feel to feel healthy
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2021
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  6. Hillbilly

    Hillbilly Peer Supporter

    You stopped and paid attention to your stress symptoms, edified them into something more, then returned to safety. But between you and the life you love is the flaming fire of symptom fear. Get the checkup again if you need it, but it’s back to the guitar and jogging track if you aren’t terminal. There might need to be a career change or something else bugging you. Do whatever you need to do to move some things around without stressing yourself about it, and if you can’t fight this all at once, pace yourself a bit. There is no happiness in the couch, only perceived safety.
    Adastra, TrustIt, Balsa11 and 2 others like this.
  7. Mark1122

    Mark1122 Well known member

    Thanks for the message

    Could be.. but what can you do if you are tired all the time like exhausted cause of it and my heart acts up its difficult to get through. I think if my heart wouldnt react so hard i could do it, but this feels life threatening.
    Balsa11 likes this.
  8. miffybunny

    miffybunny Beloved Grand Eagle

    A racing heart is still TMS. I suggest you read "Hope and Help For Your Nerves" by Dr. Claire Weekes (she is also on YT). She explains the panic response and ways of regulating yourself (getting out of stress physiology and back to a normal state). You may also want to consider going on an antidepressant which could help with anxiety.
    Lizzy, Balsa11 and plum like this.
  9. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    I’d like to distill a couple of points made in my previous, long post which I suspect got lost in the emotion of the writing, (which was actually quite cathartic). Poignantly I write this post in the midst of life turning the screw again. Yesterday my mum had a bad fall and is currently in hospital. :(

    So, those points:

    1. Life is going to keep happening to us. This is why I referenced the Vikings approach to fate; to face all that happens with glory, courage and with every fibre of our being.

    2. We’re human. We experience every flavour of emotion under the sun, sometimes tumultuously so. This is ok, this is as it should be. We’re not Spock.

    3. Sometimes we need to take a breather before going again. This is what all animals do. A period of wound-licking and rest replenishes body, mind and spirit. aka. Self-care. A skill most of us have to learn.

    This is spot on. Self-reliance, self-actualisation, however you wish to enshrine it. I’m 49 so am slapbang in those middle years where we face the frailties and vulnerabilities of our older loved ones. I’ve seen grown up extended family members being unable and unwilling to face these realities and in so doing add to the burden everyone else carries. We all struggle, process and deal with these problems differently but we must deal with them. These pressures can be the making of us. Even if initially they seemingly break us. We can have immense self-compassion and with this, we can turn our lives around.

    We’re all going to lose our loved ones. We’re all going to die. They’ll be moments of heaven, moments of hell, and a lot of middling in between. It’s all good, and surely we all desire to live it well.

    I’m also still trying to get there. :)
  10. Mark1122

    Mark1122 Well known member

    Yeah i know a heart palpitations can be signs of anxiety, but can it really feel like a hard squeeze where i egt a bit dizzy. THis happened a few days ago after i woke up from a nap, i was completely calm, no anxiety i stand up from the toilet and my heart feels like its getting squeezed and i get light headed for like 10 secs. Kinda freaked me out haha..

    Also i just played guitar again because hillbilly's comment convinced me to keep going. But after 15minutes my back trapezius muscle hurts so much and like my spine hurts or next to it its weird and my right arm is completely cramped where i cant play anymore and ofcourse the heart palps. Is that normal TMS?

    I must admit my left side hurts a bit as well which could be weird and my robs hurt a lot. I mean isnt that strange, what else could it be or it normal to have trpaezius back pain and also ribs that hurt are they connected or something o_O

    I hope me being more messed up means im getting closer lol i have to admit i never tried for so persitently as last few months
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2021
    Balsa11 likes this.
  11. RogueWave

    RogueWave Well known member

    To echo @Hillbilly’s previous posts, how many times have you had symptoms, especially palpitations, where they ended up really injuring you? Killing you?

    Abraham Low liked to stay these things are ‘distressing but not dangerous.’ As long as you continue to believe your symptoms might be something dangerous, something other than TMS, you will continue to trap yourself.

    Your symptoms returned because fear eventually won, and the cycle returned. This is why some of us call this an addiction of sorts. You just relapsed and got your ‘fix’ of stress hormones. Your pain, palpitations, etc are not the real problem, you just think they are because they are so uncomfortable.

    You are keeping yourself stuck in a fear cycle, and that’s all there is to it. The constant asking, wondering, worrying, cowering, ‘why?’, will just keep you there.

    So you played guitar for 15 minutes, that’s a good start. The pain came, but focus on the 15 min. Next time do 20. Work at this. You can’t just wait around to feel better before you starting thinking/acting differently.

    Find your courage, or just create it for no reason at all. Let the symptoms come and go as they please. They won’t kill you. And in the rest of your life stop avoiding all things that are uncomfortable.
  12. Hillbilly

    Hillbilly Peer Supporter

    Nothing I can add to what has been stated here so please, believe what is being said is true and believe us when we advise you that you are safe to resume all activities. No surprise that you got an uptick in symptoms. You're cured the minute you believe you are. Your symptoms can't do anything more to you than scare you and make you tired and stiff. You should be used to being tired and stiff by now, so don't let that stop you. It might be a while until you see a major difference in your symptoms, but once you've got it and begin acting as though you believe your symptoms are only stress and nothing to worry about, they begin to disappear.

    Was there anything in your life that you recall being afraid of trying the first or second or tenth time? Diving in a pool? Using a power tool? Anything at all you approached tentatively at first? Then, after doing it successfully and creating a new neural pathway, you laughed about it? That's where we are. We are beckoning for you to listen and go for it. I hope you do. That goes for tomorrow and next week as well. Nothing will happen to you. You just have to wrap your head around what is happening and forget about how you feel for a while.
  13. Balsa11

    Balsa11 Well known member

    The palps and dizziness are typical anxiety symptoms. It's ok to sit down, close your eyes, and catch your breath, but don't avoid things, especially things you love doing, out of fear of triggering a panic attack. Often times it's usually caused by anxious feelings earlier but sometimes it's random. Some things need more gradual practice than others.

    You might want to try exercise that's more calming than stimulating. I find getting up and stretching more often helps with things that pop up while working. Taking short breaks is nice because of adaptability and consistency
  14. eskimoeskimo

    eskimoeskimo Well known member

    Thanks for writing.

    I'm sure that there are all sorts of things I believe which aren't in the end true. But I think experience has something to do with inculcating belief, and it's my experience of trying TMS strategies - as well as so many other things in addition - for 10 years without any success which has engendered the belief that I can't get better. I don't think I can just choose to believe differently, and I spent a lot of years beating myself up trying to get to "100% belief" while it got farther and farther away. I have spent a lot of time trying to visualize the possibility.
  15. eskimoeskimo

    eskimoeskimo Well known member

    And to you
  16. eskimoeskimo

    eskimoeskimo Well known member

    Thank you for writing this. I admire your courage
  17. TrustIt

    TrustIt Well known member

    Not to stop you from your commitment to TMS but what you said about feeling 50% better when you took a four-day break from technology, might point to some sensitivity to the EMF's. It has different effects on different people and can be quite debilitating to some. Don't know if you have looked into that, but it could be a component?
    plum likes this.
  18. Hillbilly

    Hillbilly Peer Supporter

    Very kind of you, tgirl. Life is short. Let's get better and live it. May I ask how you are doing?
    tgirl likes this.
  19. Hillbilly

    Hillbilly Peer Supporter

    Dr. Low advocated attacking your symptoms (all of them are just stress symptoms magnified), one at a time to lesson their hold on your attention. Fatigue was the most common. He gives a brilliant talk about what was known in his time as "neurasthenia" being a made-up label that harms patients because it can lead them to believe they have something incurable. Today neurasthenia would be called Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or Fibromyalgia. I'm sure you are familiar with the list of symptoms associated with those labels also. Perhaps even been given the diagnosis. It's nonsense. You can refute your fatigue symptom more easily than pain, so attack it first. Just stay on your feet for longer periods. Go for walks if jogging brings on strong palpitations or pain, just leisurely stroll anytime you feel like you are about to collapse. You'll see it is only a feeling and that you actually have full strength. If you haven't already read it, grab a copy of Dr. Low's Mental Health Through Will Training. It is literally full of practical advice on how to combat your symptoms in ways that refute that they mean doom to come if you don't obey your alarm.
    Balsa11 likes this.
  20. tgirl

    tgirl Well known member

    Well Hillbilly, you might be sorry you asked. Lol. According to all my test results, including neurologists, MRI’s, etc I’m fine, but for some reason I still can’t shake my symptoms and sensations. It has kind of gotten to the embarrassing stage, as I feel they should have dissipated by now given all that I know about mind/body symptoms. My mindset is changing, in that I am trying to be more indifferent, and that is a good thing. Having weird symptoms has caused me a lot of distress, but thankfully I have found people that have had symptoms similar to mine that actually got better and that has helped me. Thank you for asking.
    How are you doing?
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2021
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