What you are ignoring could kill you

Thank you. Regarding codependency, shall people be conscious about expressing their negative feelings to the co-dependent partner, such as rage, sorrow, fear, etc. ? Each time the explosion of negative feelings really pin the relationship down. I wonder what types of therapists would be needed... I also don't understand that for people overcoming TMS pain, do they really let the rage explode each time they feel it so they don't suppress or repress it, and the explosion would deeply upset others around? Like how could anybody stay calm while the partner explodes in rage on some seemingly unsignificant triggers (child being annoying, no good table manner etc.)? I am at the wit's end...

 

this sounds like such a difficult journey for you. I hope you are ok, I am rooting for you!
Please accept my virtual hug

 

@Jettie1989
Thank you so much for the kind words and the virtual hug! I am happy to report on this experience with my sister that the painful part was coming out of denial and wrestling with the decision of what to do, which took a while. But over the past few weeks I did actually cut things off and was very surprised to experience immediate tremendous RELIEF. This really validated my feelings about my decision. My goal is to try and find as many sources like this of hidden pain as I can and shut them down to see if it puts a dent on my stress level and ultimately my TMS.

 

@louaci
I think that’s where journaling and expressing your darkest feelings come in. Then tearing it all up. Get it out on paper. Then what you do end up sharing with your partner will be sane, calm and rational— if it even needs to be shared at all. And sometimes it is.

 

Thank you. I will let my partner know about that. He hates the outburst of rage himself too and searches for an answer too.