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Why Gratitude Is Good

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Simplicity, Apr 14, 2016.

  1. Simplicity

    Simplicity Guest

    By Robert Emmons | November 16, 2010 |

    For more than a decade, I’ve been studying the effects of gratitude on physical health, on psychological well-being, and on our relationships with others.

    In a series of studies, my colleagues and I have helped people systematically cultivate gratitude, usually by keeping a “gratitude journal” in which they regularly record the things for which they’re grateful.

    Gratitude journals and other gratitude practices often seem so simple and basic; in our studies, we often have people keep gratitude journals for just three weeks. And yet the results have been overwhelming. We’ve studied more than one thousand people, from ages eight to 80, and found that people who practice gratitude consistently report a host of benefits:

    • Stronger immune systems
    • Less bothered by aches and pains
    • Lower blood pressure
    • Exercise more and take better care of their health
    • Sleep longer and feel more refreshed upon waking

    • Higher levels of positive emotions
    • More alert, alive, and awake
    • More joy and pleasure
    • More optimism and happiness

    • More helpful, generous, and compassionate
    • More forgiving
    • More outgoing
    • Feel less lonely and isolated.

    The social benefits are especially significant here because, after all, gratitude is a social emotion. I see it as a relationship-strengthening emotion because it requires us to see how we’ve been supported and affirmed by other people.

    Indeed, this cuts to very heart of my definition of gratitude, which has two components. First, it’s an affirmation of goodness. We affirm that there are good thing in the world, gifts and benefits we’ve received. This doesn’t mean that life is perfect; it doesn’t ignore complaints, burdens, and hassles. But when we look at life as a whole, gratitude encourages us to identify some amount of goodness in our life.

    The second part of gratitude is figuring out where that goodness comes from. We recognize the sources of this goodness as being outside of ourselves. It didn’t stem from anything we necessarily did ourselves in which we might take pride. We can appreciate positive traits in ourselves, but I think true gratitude involves a humble dependence on others: We acknowledge that other people—or even higher powers, if you’re of a spiritual mindset—gave us many gifts, big and small, to help us achieve the goodness in our lives.

    What good is gratitude?

    So what’s really behind our research results—why might gratitude have these transformative effects on people’s lives?

    I think there are several important reasons, but I want to highlight four in particular.

    1. Gratitude allows us to celebrate the present. It magnifies positive emotions.

    Research on emotion shows that positive emotions wear off quickly. Our emotional systems like newness. They like novelty. They like change. We adapt to positive life circumstances so that before too long, the new car, the new spouse, the new house—they don’t feel so new and exciting anymore.

    But gratitude makes us appreciate the value of something, and when we appreciate the value of something, we extract more benefits from it; we’re less likely to take it for granted.

    In effect, I think gratitude allows us to participate more in life. We notice the positives more, and that magnifies the pleasures you get from life. Instead of adapting to goodness, we celebrate goodness. We spend so much time watching things—movies, computer screens, sports—but with gratitude we become greater participants in our lives as opposed to spectators.

    2. Gratitude blocks toxic, negative emotions, such as envy, resentment, regret—emotions that can destroy our happiness. There’s even recent evidence, including a 2008 study by psychologist Alex Wood in the Journal of Research in Personality, showing that gratitude can reduce the frequency and duration of episodes of depression.

    This makes sense: You cannot feel envious and grateful at the same time. They’re incompatible feelings. If you’re grateful, you can’t resent someone for having something that you don’t. Those are very different ways of relating to the world, and sure enough, research I’ve done with colleagues Michael McCullough and Jo-Ann Tsang has suggested that people who have high levels of gratitude have low levels of resentment and envy.

    3. Grateful people are more stress resistant. There’s a number of studies showing that in the face of serious trauma, adversity, and suffering, if people have a grateful disposition, they’ll recover more quickly. I believe gratitude gives people a perspective from which they can interpret negative life events and help them guard against post-traumatic stress and lasting anxiety.

    4. Grateful people have a higher sense of self-worth. I think that’s because when you’re grateful, you have the sense that someone else is looking out for you—someone else has provided for your well-being, or you notice a network of relationships, past and present, of people who are responsible for helping you get to where you are right now.

    Once you start to recognize the contributions that other people have made to your life—once you realize that other people have seen the value in you—you can transform the way you see yourself.

    Challenges to gratitude

    Just because gratitude is good doesn’t mean it’s always easy. Practicing gratitude can be at odds with some deeply ingrained psychological tendencies.

    One is the “self-serving bias.” That means that when good things happen to us, we says it’s because of something we did, but when bad things happen, we blame other people or circumstances.

    Gratitude really goes against the self-serving bias because when we’re grateful, we give credit to other people for our success. We accomplished some of it ourselves, yes, but we widen our range of attribution to also say, “Well, my parents gave me this opportunity.” Or, “I had teachers. I had mentors. I had siblings, peers—other people assisted me along the way.” That’s very different from a self-serving bias.

    Gratitude also goes against our need to feel in control of our environment. Sometimes with gratitude you just have to accept life as it is and be grateful for what you have.

    Finally, gratitude contradicts the “just-world” hypothesis, which says that we get what we deserve in life. Good things happen to good people, bad things happen to bad people. But it doesn’t always work out that way, does it? Bad things happen to good people and vice versa.

    With gratitude comes the realization that we get more than we deserve. I’ll never forget the comment by a man at a talk I gave on gratitude. “It’s a good thing we don’t get what we deserve,” he said. “I’m grateful because I get far more than I deserve.”

    This goes against a message we get a lot in our contemporary culture: that we deserve the good fortune that comes our way, that we’re entitled to it. If you deserve everything, if you’re entitled to everything, it makes it a lot harder to be grateful for anything.

    Cultivating gratitude

    Partly because these challenges to gratitude can be so difficult to overcome, I get asked a lot about how we can go beyond just occasionally feeling more grateful to actually becoming a more grateful person.

    I detail many steps for cultivating gratitude in my book Thanks!, and summarize many of them in this Greater Good article. I should add, though, that despite the fact that I’ve been studying gratitude for 11 years and know all about it, I still find that I have to put a lot of conscious effort into practicing gratitude. In fact, my wife says, “How is it that you’re supposed to be this huge expert on gratitude? You’re the least grateful person I know!” Well, she has a point because it’s easy to lapse into the negativity mindset. But these are some of the specific steps I like to recommend for overcoming the challenges to gratitude.

    First is to keep a gratitude journal, as I’ve had people do in my experiments. This can mean listing just five things for which you’re grateful every week. This practice works, I think, because it consciously, intentionally focuses our attention on developing more grateful thinking and on eliminating ungrateful thoughts. It helps guard against taking things for granted; instead, we see gifts in life as new and exciting. I do believe that people who live a life of pervasive thankfulness really do experience life differently than people who cheat themselves out of life by not feeling grateful.

    Similarly, another gratitude exercise is to practice counting your blessings on a regular basis, maybe first thing in the morning, maybe in the evening. What are you grateful for today? You don’t have to write them down on paper.

    You can also use concrete reminders to practice gratitude, which can be particularly effective in working with children, who aren’t abstract thinkers like adults are. For instance, I read about a woman in Vancouver whose family developed this practice of putting money in “gratitude jars.” At the end of the day, they emptied their pockets and put spare change in those jars. They had a regular reminder, a routine, to get them to focus on gratitude. Then, when the jar became full, they gave the money in it to a needy person or a good cause within their community.

    Practices like this can not only teach children the importance of gratitude but can show that gratitude impels people to “pay it forward”—to give to others in some measure like they themselves have received.

    Finally, I think it’s important to think outside of the box when it comes to gratitude. Mother Theresa talked about how grateful she was to the people she was helping, the sick and dying in the slums of Calcutta, because they enabled her to grow and deepen her spirituality. That’s a very different way of thinking about gratitude—gratitude for what we can give as opposed to what we receive. But that can be a very powerful way, I think, of cultivating a sense of gratitude.


    The Greater Good Science Center is well worth checking out!
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 14, 2016
    MWsunin12 likes this.
  2. EricFeelsThisWay

    EricFeelsThisWay Peer Supporter

    Thanks for the article.
    I've found that if I force gratitude, my pain symptoms worsen, because I'm perpetuating the goodist traits I was raised with.
    If I actively work through my "toxic" emotions like jealousy and resentment, sincere gratitude is a natural byproduct, and symptoms lessen.
    I would call this a "super-ego" article, very similar to the super-ego sermons I used to hear at church on Sundays. Essentially the message is, "You have to be better." Ignore your natural impulses and cultivate "higher" values. I think this runs the risk of perpetuating TMS symptoms.
  3. Forest

    Forest Beloved Grand Eagle

    Yeah, whenever the word "force" is used, that is a big, flashing sign that that isn't the right way to grattitude. Whether with affirmations or via meditation, attempting to force a positive emotion seems like a recipe for disaster. Yet, at the same time, many TMSers find those techniques helpful. I think the key is that it has to come from an authentic feeling or it won't work.

    Likewise, gratitude definitely shouldn't be related to guilt. Science views it more as a kind thing that you can do to yourself if you can manage to find the time.

    It's interesting, sometimes the best scientists aren't the best communicators or teachers. I think that the original intent of the article was just to offer research supported tips for making people happier and healthier. If that is how it came across, and I can see how it could, then I'd disregard the message.
    Simplicity likes this.
  4. Forest

    Forest Beloved Grand Eagle

    I thought your third sentence was really on point: "If I actively work through my "toxic" emotions like jealousy and resentment, sincere gratitude is a natural byproduct, and symptoms lessen."

    In interpret this as saying that you find a "lance the boil" approach more effective than a "feed the wolf" approach for grattitude. In other words, it's better to lance the boil of toxic emotions via working through them rather than attempting to "feed the wolf" of gratitude via the type of gentle meditation that the article suggests.

    I think that "feeding the wolf" vs. "lancing the boil" is one of the most interesting questions in all of psychology. Freud popularized the idea of abreaction -- just "getting it out" -- which can be tremendously helpful in many situations. Yet, brain plasticity and a huge amount of scientific research in the last 50 years has shown that sometimes the ancient Buddhist meditators had it right - sometimes the best way to change is to feed the wolf of the positive emotions by simply changing the topic away from the negative thought to a positive one.

    Here's a thread that I try to keep going as a reference point for this question:
    http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/feeding-the-wolf-vs-lancing-the-boil.320/ (Feeding the wolf vs. lancing the boil)
    In the end, I think each individual has to make their own decision in each situation. The important thing, I believe, is for us to all have both approaches in our toolbox, monitoring our own emotions to choose the right approach at any given time.

    Clearly, the prime directive is that it must be authentic. If it doesn't feel authentic, it's not going to work.

    Regarding your third sentence, I'm sure that you are 100% right in your experience and the experiences of many others. It's possible that that is true even for the majority of TMSers. In defense of the article, though, there have been many many scientific studies that have shown that for most people, keeping a gratitude journal has a host of medical and mental health benefits. The article that Simplicity posted is in this scientific tradition, attempting to spread the word about that research.
    Simplicity likes this.
  5. EricFeelsThisWay

    EricFeelsThisWay Peer Supporter

    Hey Forest,

    I agree with you. I find myself oscillating between expressing the negative versus focusing on the positive. I meet people who tend to settle on one over the other, and that becomes a way of life for them, and I find myself judging both "decisions", which is an indication that I'm conflicted about the topic.

    I guess because my background was one where negative emotions were viewed as a defect of character ("Loving your neighbor" meant being "nice", which meant not expressing anger, regardless if how justified that anger was), I am more sensitive to repressing the aggression nowadays. For me, simply thinking about things I'm grateful for doesn't do the trick, and i develop resentment toward people who tell me to cultivate the virtues, as if were. But I can see that it works for some.

    I have a couple friends who see my negative states as "challenges" that we work out together. And I, theirs. We enjoy getting to the bottom of the negative states. It can be a game for us. Mutual exploration. That process helps a lot. And then the gratitude springs up from that. But the process has to be done with someone who enjoys talking about emotions as an end in and of itself, not just as a means to an end, so that the person can move on to other things. It's rare to find those people.
    Simplicity and Forest like this.
  6. Forest

    Forest Beloved Grand Eagle

    Thanks for your post. I'm continually impressed by the smart people who pop up here. It sounds like you've got something good going with those friends.
    EricFeelsThisWay likes this.
  7. EricFeelsThisWay

    EricFeelsThisWay Peer Supporter

    Thanks! I love talking about this stuff.

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