Wrist pain 90% less, but flareups get me down / fear is still there

Hey!

This is 2 or 3 months after reading sarno's book.

I'm very happy where i'm at now, could've never dreamed it.

So I had "RSI" for 14 months, read the book, did some days here at TMSwiki, and now the pain is 80% less. Before all this i couldnt play games for 5 minutes without pain, now there are days where i play 12 hours. Some days without pain, but most days there are a couple of times where i feel a little sting, sometimes longer than 3 minutes. I have played at least 30 hours a week for the last 4 weeks and its not really getting worse, the pain is moving though.

Heres my problem, while i have a ton of evidence that its TMS, whenever the pain comes back it gets me super-depressed, and 90% of the times my mind goes to living a life on its own and thinking its structural or my fear of the pain will not go away. Everytime i play games it feels like i have got something to prove, and it takes away from the fun.

( some evidence)
- the pain moves, thumb / wrist / elbow / upper arm/ lower arm
- Whenever I take a xanax i have zero pain ( only tried this 3 times, so im guessing its not a coincidence)
- Sometimes after reading about TMS makes the pain goes away, but most times a nights rest is needed.

Its obvious that the pain and the stress related to it is still very much there. My mood is very outcome-dependant of how much pain i experience,

So whats your experience? Im noticing that im still trying to make adjustments in the way I sit, or hold my controller when i notice some pains, so that means theres a part of me who's really not focusing on the the right thing.

Im very happy about this progress, and if i look back on those 3 months i can defenitely see how i improved each week, but sometimes im getting so tired of the fear of pain.

Did it take you long before the fear was gone? I feel like ive plateaued.

I do have an anxiety disorder, so thats not really helping , its too bad that xanax builds up a tolerance, else i wouldve been popping pills 24/7

 

I do when I get a migraine. I feel like a failure and I judge myself. That makes it worse. You have to be patient and persistent. Easier said than done, I know.

 

I've only been getting very mild pains- just enough to notice. So I'll shift my attention to the pain briefly, tell my body "no", and continue on. And it actually works, lol. But twice over the weekend I got what I call the flu aches- and it hits my entire body. It started to stress me out. Both times I took the opportunity to meditate and journal, and that did the trick.
Once I learned the true cause of all my pain, fear was no longer an issue.