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I often heard on this forum and other books on TMS that it's difficult to ascertain what are the hidden emotions behind the rage within the subconscious.

I was reading about Carl Jung notion of the shadow which is, in Sarno's talk, the ID. The unconscious, repressed aspects of the personality, often containing negative emotions, instincts, and traits that are considered unacceptable or undesirable by the individual or society i.e. the child.

Jung talks about recognising, exploring and accepting the shadow. At that point I realised all the traits I despised in my parents (monster traits) were characteristics within me that I (the superego) suppresses as I find them abhorrent. This is, perhaps, the root cause of all my pains and inner rage as that challenges my "self image" and who I am. Is this the reason my brain is creating so much pain to distract me from this realisation? All the aspects I hate about my parental figures are actually a part of me? If I hate them does it mean I hate myself? If I don't love them does it mean I don't love myself? Is this the pain my brain is feeling and is lashing out as TMS?

The fact that there are aspects of my self image that I hate makes me shudder but I realise that there are aspects of my self image that I do like and I (my superego) can control what parts of the monster I wish to let out. Perhaps those monster traits were too suppressed and needs embracing in order to truly be at peace and love oneself? By monster traits I'm not talking about illegal activities but things that may be morally wrong. Perhaps I am an asshole. Perhaps I'm not as nice as people think I am or how I think of myself. My superego does not like the thought of this and I find it abhorrent but Jung believes that embracing those evil traits we can become more whole.

I can see why my subconscious would want to protect me from this conclusion: A) Acknowledging it AND B) Accepting it as truth. In reality, I feel freedom acknowledging/accepting this as I feel a mask has come off and I can see myself and who I am more clearly. Integrating this into my daily life will be a challenge.

Does this realisation resonate with anyone?