3. Can you work too hard at overcoming TMS?

The video by Forest was great and made perfect sense here at day 7. Goes back to just stop thinking about it and move forward in the now. Words that stuck out for me were DISTRACTION (I’m the queen of that), PRESENT (be there, now), UNCONSCIOUS (thinking of my many years of dream therapy, which propelled me when my conscious mind just didn't have anything to talk about but my unconscious was the jumping off point for insight), MINDFULNESS. “JUST BE”. So that’s my goal for today, this fine Sunday. I have a sharp pain in my lower back right now (less down my leg so maybe it’s going away)—resolve not to use a med so I can just observe it. On the other hand, how can I JUST BE when it’s biting me in the butt? (Ommm. Take it as it comes.)

I just took the TMS Questionnaire from David Schecther and it is not fully clear (I landed in the middle), but I think I’m gonna go with it anyway. Yesterday morning when I was talking to a friend about it I was acutely aware of understanding the powerful mind/body connection.

 

Hello Forest,
This video was my favourite so far in the TMS Educational Program, this is my first post on the forum so it inspired me to officially join this community of people fighting TMS. Thank you for that.

best,
C.

 

This video (day 6) was perfect timing for me. I woke up with the p-word. I got out of bed and stomped around the house saying "I don't care. I don't care, dammit." Thinking to myself, "It's day 6 and I've been working really, really hard. What the hell is my problem, because I don't care about the pain but it's still there. ARGGGG" Then I watched your video. I literally laughed out loud hard at around 6:15. You read my mind. That's where I'm at. And it so fits the TMS (and my) personality. I'm still laughing. So, my plan for today is to rest. Take the day off from thinking about it, from trying to wrestle it to the ground, from obsessing on the list of affirmations. I'm just going to be. Time to get ready for yoga. Wish me luck.

 

This video made me think why I haven´t started the structured programme yet. I am afraid of something and now I know what it is: having to do it well, perfectly and making it work.
I think I need to let go of something before I get into something "structured" (which I already am). I am joking at myself, trying to lower the drama!
Good night everyone!

 

Forest, I am on day 4 of the SEP, and found this video. Thanks so much. I am not "over journal ling", but I am alternately calmed by the program, and activated. I am "overthinking"

I think that this video would be useful for all new comers.

I have been doing mindfulness meditation since last December, via a Facebook group. So, I am aware of my impatience, emotions I never knew I had, etc.

As a person who has been "driven" her entire life (I am 61), I am applying the concepts in your video into how I work the SEP.
I am humbled by finding myself so debilitated by pain, and by other physical symptoms actually "stirring up", just by starting the SEP.
And fascinated by thinking psychologically.
"Letting go" is yet another way to get one's thoughts off of the pain (Dr. Sarno's original theory).
Trying too hard to get results too fast is another way to become more activated.
I didn't get this until I saw your video this morning.
For me, just on day 4, I've already found it's a combination of old repressed emotions and how I am still playing out those conditioned ways of reacting, in the present.
"Easy Does It" is my affirmation for today, thanks to finding your video.

I had an experience similar to Beach Girl. I went camping for 29 days off and on this past summer, with at least half of the time alone. During those times, my symptoms were remarkably improved.

 

wow - wonderful progress already 'readyforjoy'!!! This forum is so full of resources, love and support. It was at least 50% responsible for my healing and all the internal changes that happened. Keep on keeping on READYFORJOY! What a great name!!

 

Thanks nowtimecoach. Really appreciate the support. So very much.

I also wanted to mention to Forrest that in skimming 5 pages of replies I didn't notice many people mentioning the letting go of outcome, or the small quiet voice within.

I'm really interested in cognitive neuroscience, and know that every time I tell the details of my story, it reinforces that part of my brain that is wanting relief. So, I can't read too much of people's stories or do a lot of journalling. Just a tiny bit.

I listened to a 45 minute dharma talk on forgiveness today, that I found on a local mindfulness meditation teacher's website. I tried, but my computer knowledge is not sufficient (or maybe not technically possible...) to lift it off of there and onto here.

The 3 days I have spent asking myself "What am I feeling" have been a rollar coaster, and I got off today, by watching Forrest's video.

The mindfulness antidote to anger and resentment is forgiveness. I feel so absolutely blessed to have found that today. With compassion and goodwill for everyone on this forum, I sure hope that some will be brave enough to start a meditation practice.

I started with something called the 7 day meditation kickstart on Facebook almost 10 months ago. I was fortunate to have also been a chanting Buddhist for 7 years prior, and to have attended mindfulness meditation retreats over 20 years ago. This isn't about ego.

It's about finding resources within myself that can now slowly be re-activated for a purpose of compassion for myself.

 

Hi Forest,

This is the first time I have written on this forum, or any forum actually. I wanted to say thank you for this video. It came at exactly the right time, a time when I was becoming preoccupied and anxious about doing the program right. I cried as soon as I read that today was a day when I didn't have to do anything. I think that is the first time I have given myself permission to not work to my limit on something - which is probably why I have TMS! It is such a relief. So thank you for that.

Also thank you to everyone on the forum, since I discovered this place I have gained great strength from everyones thoughts, ideas and courage. I will try to relax today - without putting too much pressure on myself to do it well! Good luck to everyone out there.

Thank you again,
Sophie

 

Exactly this was part of my conversation with my therapist today. Recognizing that there might be something not completely ok with the SEP for everyone.
Because as this is a mind body syndrome, the mind needs to be paid better attention. Not only with the feelings suppressed but also with the finding of new meaning, because it will be your mind all the way. And changing it for the better is a life job.

For me, and it is only for me, is the acknowledging what that fear has made to my life.

Working too hard is something I don´t know how to stop. Stopping my mind is somehting else, but it is the mind I have that has made me, good and bad.

So I believe that the SEP is fine as long as you do have some kind of therapy or coaching alongside. The emotions that arose yesterday were unbelievably strong. And I have a therapist who helps me to deal with them.
So, for day 7, my day has been to breathe out of the SEP and everything I did and will do.
And it felt good!!!!!!!
To feel like "normal" not to rush into the computer, to take 10 minutes in the morning to do the two things I described yesterday, the massage and the sitting meditation.

 

Thanks Forest! I enjoyed your video. You have such a calming voice, so listening to you was enjoyable. I have a long journey ahead of me. I hope that I can heal one day and be an inspiration to someone else as you have been for me today.

 

Hello there you lovely people. I concurred with this video.
I have had TMS since adolescence. I have had physio, osteopathy, chiropractic, you name it. But it is my mind and my soul that seem to fight. I have repeated patterns of exhaustion and then the absolute thirst to conquer again. The thirst to perform, be the saviour and to solve and to fix. It can generate a buzz. Never wanted to look inside because there was huge amounts of emotional pain I was so unaware of. Finding solutions and looking after customers meant I didn't need to find the real me.

Anyway, I came across Sarno in 2012 when I was in the depths of another crisis in my life. I read the work and resonated. My psychologist guided me through a mindfulness course. I TRY TOO HARD at everything and am only satisfied when I achieve. Been through hell and back emotionally and now recognise that I have become addicted to drama. Doing less is anathema to me when I feel well. I then surge onto a high of "here is a solution". Looking back to school reports as a 7 year old it stands out - works very hard, looks far ahead (mathematics), thinks deeply, brilliant language skills and outstanding at drama. I didn't really do play or fun apart from drama. Workaholic child.

I know that I need to PAUSE before galloping into my next day with the cataclysmic enthusiasm and speed that I WAS NOT AWARE OF. Everyone loved the enthusiastic entertaining Lesley. I now know that BALANCE and PACING are my only way forward. I have been described as an untamed horse. The Internet for all its wonders and benefits is actually dangerous to minds who are inquisitive and perhaps addicted to FINDING THE SOLUTION BY THEMSELVES.

So I will look at SEP but not overdo it. I am very aware of the slightest twinge these days and apply a moment of compassion and try and laugh. Listening inside can be really testing and painful. I have lost careers and marriages through all of this. The PAIN BODY has ruled and it will no more.

My psychologist introduced me to a concept unknown to me NURTURE - SELF NURTURE. Hand on heart my existential ego self had never seen it worthy to NURTURE myself apart from achieving through striving - my pleasure source.

 

It was only going to be a matter of time until I asked this question so many thanks for doing the video - it confirmed what beliefs I already had and built on them with valuable thoughts from another insightful person

The trait of being a perfectionist in people with TMS includes me - I could be the face on the badge or the image in next to the word in the dictionary

Initially reading the books from July this year was easy - it was done intensely but quite lighthearted at the same time
Then as time goes on I'm 'working harder' to become totally pain free

I'm trying to systemise an approach
I'm trying to build another system of sorts for when there is a setback
I want the best day, the best recovery/success story
I'm thinking of inspiring others prior to recovering myself
I'm making it a PROJECT!

I'm definitely re-enforcing TMS at times!

I'm then worrying!
Questioning myself internally...
Am I trying too hard?
Am i missing something that I should have done today?

Worrying about forgetting about the content that came up in breakthrough moments

I then add the worry/pressure about work (self-employed) and operating successfully again (on a physical and financial playing field)

Could drive you insane, right!

The same things are coming up more often now
'Be kind to yourself'
Try and do more of the things you love - from the really little things to medium and bigger

Being introduced to the principles of Dr Claire Weekes this last 7 days helped alot
'do not fear it'
'relax, don't fight it'

And then the content of this video has reinforced some of these thoughts and added more

To completely forget about TMS and the work involved
To not use it as part of my identity
Relax and do the things you appreciate as being a normal, happy individual

I will take it all on board
thanks again

 

Thank you for this video! I discovered a very important hidden emotion 10 days ago and since then I have been processing "in back ground" not journaling, not moving forward with the program. Today I feel that I'm ready to continue and then I get a day off - that's wonderful
I'm definitely an over achiever, perfectionist and so on, but this condition with my body has actually taught me to step back when my unconscious tells me to. I have been much better physically since I started TMS, I have much more energy, I walk several kilometers every day (I was in a wheel chair for some years), I meet with friends, I had my 2-year-old grandson from Friday to Sunday this weekend - and here I am, still standing! I'm no longer constantly "tensed" and stiff physically, I'm more relaxed generally.
I can hear my inner voice now - 10 years ago I would have plunged into TMS and probably made my own version of it and published it . I'm much wiser today and I know now that if I really listen to this deep inner voice and co-operate with it, I will not need physical pain and symptoms to step down and care for my self any longer...
I think my body will always be my messenger. And that's okay, that's fair! In future it will be in a more subtle way like using a soft brush in stead of sledge hammer... I will listen and co-operate - isn't that beautiful .
I will take my time with the SEP, no hurry, just one step at a time allowing my body and mind to be calm and assured. No project plan, no milestones, nothing to be forced - just letting it flow quietly at its own pace.

 

Hi there,

I know this is a really old thread but I am new to the TMS world and am on day 7 of the SEP. I just watched Forest's video and have to say that I agree 100%! I really needed a reminder to relax and not worry too hard about getting rid of my lingering symptoms. I definitely have a bit of the perfectionist in me who wants to do the program "right" and thinks about TMS a lot.

To answer your question about how I find balance...I think you hit the nail on the head with the idea of mindfulness. I have an active meditation practice that I started before learning of TMS and it ties in wonderfully. Mindfulness meditation teaches you to be fully present in the moment, notice your thoughts and be nonjudgemental of them.

So for example, while meditating I might be having the thought, "I need to NOT CARE about this back pain i'm feeling right now or it will never go away!" like Forest mentioned in the video. The strategy would be to notice that thought mindfully/nonjudgmentally and let it go...try not to overly focus on it or give it too much weight. Then go back to focusing on my breathing or whatever else was the focus of my meditation that day.

I linked this resource in my post about meditation yesterday but i'll include it again here for those who want to deepen their meditation with a program and guided practice: https://palousemindfulness.com (Online MBSR/Mindfulness (Free))

Hope you all have a nice New Year and take time to relax and find your balance. Now i'll get right back to not caring about my TMS the rest of the day

 

There's a lot of information to take in with this program. There's a lot to absorb and try to grapple with. Today I feel like throwing in the towel but I don't know what that would even look like at this point.

But yes, I feel like I continue to fight against focusing on an outcome, but when I put all this hard work into something, it's hard not to get frustrated and upset when the outcome doesn't match the hard work and effort. So yes, you can definitely work this program too hard and set yourself up for a big let down when the payoff isn't fast enough, effective enough or exactly what you want or expect it to be.

I too feel like learning to let go, accept and have a more "come what may" attitude would really help me--not sure how to get to that point though. Maybe more yoga/meditation/relaxation vs. combing the depths of my soul (which is utterly exhausting)? I have been pushing very hard, with some great results. But when I have a setback, a bad day (like today), it all comes crashing down because I'm still so fixated on the result, the outcome, the payback, and I feel like I've lost everything and it's all been for nothing.

Kind of reminds me of dog training. When I would have a setback with the dog, I would think: "Well, that's it, we're back to square one." This kind of all-or-nothing, fatalistic thinking is surely a big part of my TMS cycle, because I think I'm using the program in a similar way. Work, work, work, and if one day I get a bad result, I think: "Well, that's it, I'm back to square one."

Somehow, I learned with dog training that a setback does not mean we are back to square one. A setback is just that--a setback. Perhaps the dog is tired. Perhaps I'm tired. I guess I need to train my brain to realize that a setback with my TMS is just that--a setback. Maybe it's a sign that I'm pushing too hard. I pushed very hard yesterday and today I'm not doing so well. But it's just one day in so many.

 

Hang in there, Mountain Girl! We ALL have good and bad days. I've found that at some point I have to let go of the past and concentrate on moving forward. A lot of what has brought me success with tms is trial and error.
You can DO this!
Blessings on your journey,
Gigi

 

Thanks for your advice. My inner voice tells me to stop giving my TMS so much power & just”BE”! I’ll check out Alan Gordon’s/How to break the Pain Cycle.