Day 1 Again...

Ironically, this morning the TMS site gave me a one year badge. It was a year ago that a coach I was working with suggested John Sarno's book and, like so many others, I read myself in every page. I had thought that my symptoms started in 2016 when in the midst of our second relocation that year, the bottoms of my feet suddenly and chronically felt like someone had beat them with a bat. Then the similar story so many tell. It moved from there to back, hips, neck. Injections, meds, tests, appliances, one surgery, PT, Chiro, massage, on and on. In 2021 when I started the SEP here I realized that if I traced back my life to when I got sober in 1990 I have NEVER been without a life impacting/impairing issue - IBS, headaches, neck immobility, anxiety, carpel tunnel, and everything that started in 2016 with renewed intensity! My first go-round here demonstrated clearly that it works, but I lacked (lack) the discipline for the journaling. I'm so sick to death of peeling off old emotional scabs and bleeding all over myself and others. In this past year my main issues are - some old, some new - same back issue (T6789 area) hard as rock tendons, vertebrae pain, numbness, crazy making on and off itchiness, intense sensitivity to fabrics, labels, etc. and right piriformis/hip flexor issues and now a legit left gluteal pull - the two things making car rides/driving excruciating. A year ago the main thing that I really believed from Sarno's books is that exercise and physically limiting myself will not hurt me and so I do yoga and walk and recently I started playing pickleball (how I strained the glute muscle). when i do these things I feel great! So good actually! But when I'm not moving my body it hurts every moment, every day. I wake up feeling like I'm 90 - not 58. I have anxiety about plans I have made that require driving for more than 20 minutes. At my job I am uncomfortable at best, in pain mostly (sitting, standing, multiple chairs, on a ball, different shoes and foot rests, etc.). So I am here again. I did Day Zero. I left a message for a local PRT therapist found from the directory because I believe I need help this time. Day 1 . Feeling sad, yet hopeful.