Anxiety makes everything worse

Hey guys. I didn't Google all day yesterday or look on this forum. I felt pretty good and last night I was virtually pain free. Gutted today though I am feeling it a bit and I'm straight on Google and this forum. God it's so tough to fight the urge to Google. I need to learn to accept it

 

Power through. This is what Sarno means when he says "confront it." We are not meant to be distracted from living our lives and feeling our emotions. That is contrary to being human. Hang in there, brother. Stay off that site-which-must-not-be-named.

 

I will haha. I did read something about how anxiety makes every little body sensation massively increased. I read alot about how it makes us hypersensitive to every little thing. And the best quote was this.....if we cut our finger while chopping onions do we panic and constantly keep checking it??? No. We put a plaster on it and then move on. So why do we feel the need to keep checking and touching other parts of us that hurt?? Because we have become obsessed by them. This is all it is. An obsession. The best way to deal with it is to not give a shit about it. So what if it hurts. Deal with it and move on to something else. I'm not going to let this pain decide my future. This is the website I found helpful
http://www.anxietycentre.com/anxiety-symptoms/hypersensitivity.shtml (Hypersensitivity, Super Sensitive Nerves and Senses.)

 

Oh I'm well aware of that site haha. It is definitely comforting. But with that comes that danger of compulsion. You know this. Promise to stay off the internet for the remainder of the day if it's in regards to pain/health/anxiety. Set that goal.

 

Very true. I promise

 

I will try to stay off it for ever. Maybe it's like cold turkey lol

 

Man do I have a knack for giving advice I don't take.

 

Lol me too. It's a habit I think. Looking for reassurance for something that cannot be made better by reading about it somewhere else.

 

Anxiety is no fun. But I wouldn't be who I am without it.

 

Had a bad day today. Last night I had a shower and not to be too graphic I put some haemaroid cream on and felt something which now I know is completely normal. I felt something squidgy and I instantly panicked and though oh shit it's a prolapse. Spent the whole evening googling prolapse symptoms and thinking about it. Woke up this morning and my rectum felt like I had a water Mellon inside. I went to work and kept saying to myself it's nothing it's just the TMS muscle tension. But my health anxiety got the better of me and I went to the doctors this afternoon. I told him all the issues I have and said I know there is nothing physically wrong with me but just to put my mind at rest can you look in my rectum and check it for me. He gave me an examination and looked inside with a scope and he said there is nothing wrong at all in there. So boom. I'm gonna make peace with this. I have been checked and all is well. The feeling is there but it's not dangerous or caused by anything nasty. It's just my brain causing tension or discomfort. I had pain in my tailbone all week and after last night it's in my rectum. Surely that proves it's tms doesn't it?????. Anyway I had a shit day today but I'm not going to be beaten. I have a clean bill of health and that's it. Make my peace with it and just carry on. No more reading about people with this problem who can't get rid of it. Why do i need to read that haha. I got rid of it a few times before so I can do it again. It's not going to be easy and I'm sure my tms gremlin will be having fun with my rectum for the next few weeks. But I'm not going to Google. I'm going to put up with it until it fades into the background. Do I re read Howard Schubiners unlearn your pain or shall I not??? That's something which I'm unsure of. Do I really need to know how the brain causes this or am I better to just stop doing everything and carry on??? I even thought about faking sickness at work today so I could come home. But I know that's just avoiding the issue.

 

Hi, Alfa,

I'm sorry you had a rough day. My heart goes out to you. In a way I am glad you went to the doctor, even though that assurance will (for us health anxiety sufferers) be short-lived. That's okay though. You have been given a clean bill of health, and now is the time to move forward.

Just out of curiosity, which other TMS books have you read? Journaling/writing things out were never really effective for me. My recovery last year was all about the subtle release of obsession and a reintroduction into physical exercise/sport. Have you found that journaling has worked in the past? Go back to basics. Back to what has helped you in the past. I'm here for you.

Steve

 

I skimmed through a few books but only looked for the words pelvic floor or levator ani. Writing down my feelings didn't help. I just stopped doing anything. Stopped avoiding things that I was worried about. And carried on with life and it just went on its own. I think what we have is more health anxiety than tms. Mind body syndrome is a better way of looking at it. We focus in on a part of the body where we have had issues before. I have always been obsessed with my bowels. I had a fissure when I was a kid and thought I had cancer. I have always had a stupid fear of bowel cancer. And I guess the rectum and anus are my weak points. Where my brain gets obsessed by. And monitors every twitch or ache. And thus magnifies it. When I had this problem the first time about 5 years ago my aunt was diagnosed with bowel cancer which made me worse. Now any stress in my life makes my ass hurt.

 

I think reading a book on mind body syndrome is pointless for people with health anxiety. It's reading about your problem which reinforces it more in your brain in my opinion

 

How are you today Steve?

 

Release of obsession is exactly the right phrase. It is an obsession. No more Internet. And even this forum. I need to give it a break. Maybe make myself write on here once a week and then wean myself off it all together. That's something else I did last time. I used to look on another tms forum religiously while I was suffering. Then I just stopped looking and stopped doing anything. Then it went

 

Let's talk in a few days. Private message me and we'll go from there.

 

I made the greatest strides in recovering when I kicked both forums into touch and simply got on with my life. I stayed away for two years. It was an excellent move. You already know what to do. Do it.

 

You know what your right. It's funny how we get better but then if we have a flair up we run back to these forums haha. I'm going to sit back and have a beer.

 

Good on you. I raise my wine glass to you and your healing.

 

I'm not going to let an aching ass get the better of me haha